Page 35 of Rage & Paradise
“No, he didn’t do anything.” I shake my head and try to smile at him.
“Mentira, I can see it all over your face. He hurt your feelings somehow. That’s not how we treat women here.” Digger smirks at me.
I don’t have time to think about what I’m feeling for Oro right now. I’m here for a job. “Hmm, you going to show me how the Royal Bastards treat women?”
“Sí, mami, I can show you anything you want to know.” Digger grabs hold of my hand, and before I can focus on anything else, he’s ushering me toward the back rooms.The bass faded to a throb in the corridor. My heels clicked. Every step felt like a dare I didn’t want to take. I take a deep breath as he opens one of the doors, and I realize that it’s his room. This is going to happen.
I’m okay with that.
Digger grabs hold of my waist and, without any further pretense, drops his face to my neck, where he begins to kiss and suck on the sensitive skin there.
I moan at the appropriate points. I rub my hands up and down on his shoulders and arms. I force myself to make him feel like I want him. I force myself to like it.
I try and try, but it’s not working.
I flinch when his hands reach for my belt.
He backs up and looks into my eyes. Now that we are in his room and there is more light, he can see my expression clearly.
“Fucking hell. You don’t want this. I like it messy, not miserable. You’re miserable.”” He backs up.
I reach for him. I know what I’m here for. To take care of the patch brothers. They pay me a salary, and I make sure their needs are met. I don’t want any of them to think I’m not pulling my weight here. I need this job.
“I’m fine. We can have some fun.” I try to lighten my tone.
“Nah, I’m not into forced play.” He takes another step back.
“Then what are you into? What do you like, baby? Tell me. I can be anything you want me to be.” A sensual purr rolls over my words. I hate that I can do this so easily.
“You might be able to be anything I want, but I can’t be what you want. I’m not Oro, and I’ll never be. Get the fuck out of here.”
“Digger, wait.”
“I said fucking go!” He shouts at me, and I jump at the sudden change in the atmosphere. I rush out of his room back into the main room, where the party is still raging. I don’t stop there, though. Instead, I run out and across the street to my safe haven. Seda.
I know I can fall to pieces here. Even if it’s just for a little while. At least until the guys figure out that I’m not going to be able to hold up my end of the deal.
I’m not going to be able to hide how I feel about Oro for much longer. He’s deeper under my skin than even I realized. Feeling him touch me like that earlier, touch me how I’ve always wanted a man to touch me, it’s opened up parts of me I’ve never had access to.
Digger is right. I might be able to lie with another man in this club, but I’m always going to be thinking about Oro, wishing it was him instead.
I don’t know how long I’m sitting in the room alone before the door opens and Coca walks in.
“You know the party across the street was specifically made for us.” She leans against the door, one hand crossed over her chest, the other down by her side with her rosary sliding through her fingers.
“I… I’m not going to be able to do this.” I admit, keeping my eyes down from her gaze.
She chuckles. “Estrella, what part of you don’t have to do anything here that you don’t want to do? No one is forcing you tobe anything you don’t want to be. If you never fuck any of them in there, it’s not going to be a problem. We’ll just find something else for you to do. Not every problem needs to be solved with the power of pussy.”
My mouth drops open as I hear her words. “But that’s what they want. I mean, that’s what men always want.”
“Es verdad, that is what they always want, but that doesn’t mean that it’s required for them to get it. The boys know how to control themselves, and if they step out of line, they know they’ll have me to deal with. Consent is our first rule. You set your boundaries. We enforce them.” She raises an eyebrow at me to further get her point across.
“So, what happens if I don’t, you know, want to sleep with any of them? Will they put me out? Fire me? I need a job.”
“There are other jobs here. We’ll figure out what your skill set is and use that. Don’t worry about being put out. In fact, if my gut is to be trusted, I’m pretty sure Oro would rather peel his skin off before he lets something happen to you.”
Now I know she’s got it wrong. “That’s not true. Oro is probably the one person in this club who’d get a kick out of me being dropped on my ass.”
