Page 31 of Rage & Paradise
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I can stay in one of the back rooms. I’ll talk with Prissy.” She smiles as she slowly gets off the back of my bike.
“Okay, I’m going to have to tell some of the shit you told me to the guys. They need to know exactly who this Sina woman is so we can get her stopped. They may ask you some questions.” I want to prepare her for what might happen. The last thing I want is for her to feel like she’s being judged. She did what she had to do in order to survive. None of this is her fault.
“Okay, I’ll do what I need to do in order to help.” She gives me a soft smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Oye,” I call to her, forcing her to focus on me, “I’m here now. I got you.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything in return. Instead, she just turns toward Seda, opens the door, and walks in. I wonder how many people have said the same thing to her only to hurt herwhen it was convenient for them. I wonder how many times her asshole of a father did.
I let out a deep breath and make my way across the street to the front of the clubhouse. I park my bike and walk in.
Digger, Pooh, AZ, and Lobo are all in the main area, laughing and drinking coffee as if nothing of importance happened yesterday.
“Hermano, where you been? Vado was looking for you earlier. We found out some information about the Canos.” Digger speaks as he sees me making my way inside.
“Yeah, AZ told me yesterday’s hit was from them. I need to talk to Vado.” I say, looking around the space.
“We got problems?” Lobo questions. The smile on his face already drops off.
“Yeah, man, we got problems.”
“We… or that sweet piece of ass you keep chasing behind?” Digger jokes, and I snap my eyes to him.
“You’re going to stop fucking disrespecting her or we’re going to have a problem.”
Digger’s eyes widen and he puts his coffee down before getting to his feet and stepping into my space.
“Problems? I’m always ready for problems. You want to show me what problems we’re going to have?”
I put my hands up and shove him back. I don’t want him in my face. He stumbles slightly but lunges back in front of me, ready to fight.
“Carajo, stop the shit.” AZ and Lobo get in between the two of us before either of us can throw any blows. Lobo snaps in front of my face, drawing my attention away from Digger and back to him.
“I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but you know this isn’t how we fix shit in here. That is your brother.”
I know he’s right. There’s a level of respect we show one another, and that means no fighting between us. Not to mention Digger outranks me. I’ve only just gotten my patch. He can’t just kick me out like he could when I was a prospect, but if it comes to the table that I’m causing trouble I’ll be the one stripped before he will.
“I need to talk to Vado. I need a church session.”
Lobo and AZ look at each other for a second before looking back at me. The only person to call church is the president. That is unless one of the members has something so important it might disrupt what we’ve got going on.
This shit with Sina is important. Not just for us but for the whole community. The fact that Estrella was able to confirm that she had one of our neighbors sent away for some shit he didn’t do should be enough. Though I’m sure once Vado hears that this nasty cunt is using children as part of her fucked-up plans he’s going to want to get rid of her as badly as I do too.
“I’ll see if he’s available.” Lobo says, letting me go. “You go in your room and clear your fucking head.”
I nod and turn away from him. I don’t have time to fight with Digger. It’s not really him that I’m mad at. I’m mad at Estrella’s father. I’m mad at my mother. Fucking hell, I’m mad at myself.
I never even tried to figure out what was going on. Now that I’m looking back at it, I should have realized something strange was going on with Estrella and her father. How many times did I wake up in the middle of the night to see that Estrella was not in her room. How many times did I see her come home wearing something that I thought was silly.
Makeup, high heels.
Maybe if I would’ve paid more attention and stopped worrying about not getting what I wanted I would’ve been able to see what was going on right in front of my face.
Turns out all this time I was the one being selfish.
I pace back and forth in my small room, wanting to be able to do something. I want to fucking kill that asshole. Too bad he’s already rotting six feet in the earth. I don’t know how he died, but whatever way he went out it was too good for him.
I go back to my tried-and-true form of exercise and start shadowboxing. I don’t know how long I swing at imaginary threats, but when Lobo knocks on my door I’m out of breath and sweating.
