Page 93 of Played
“Tyler. I know that’s where you went last night.”
How did he…? Son of a bitch is tracking my phone. I stand so fast my chair topples to the floor. “Yes, I went to Tyler’s, you fucking jackass.” We stalk toward each other, and I’m pretty sure the scowl on his face is mirrored by my own. We stop when only a few inches separate us. “And you want to know why? Because I felt like being with someone who wanted me around. Someone who doesn’t feel sorry for me. Someone who could bear to fucking look at me and not see…”
His green eyes narrow on my face. “Not see what?”
I take a breath, keeping a lid on my rage. “Not see what he did.”
His tongue darts out and he licks his bottom lip, his gaze never leaving mine. I look away first, unable to stand the pity in his eyes any longer. Then his strong hands are planted on either side of my neck, his thumbs rubbing the skin beneath my ears as he forces me to look at him again. “I don’t see him when I look at you. I see me. If I wasn’t looking at you last night, it was because I was so fucking ashamed.”
I go to reply, but he cuts me off. “I’m ashamed that my father did that to you. I’m ashamed of the way I treated you. And when you asked me if it would have made a difference, it reminded me of what a coward I was. I never should have said all those awful fucking things to you when he caught us, but I was scared shitless of my father, and I still would have left the way I did. That is what I’m most ashamed of. You were always so much fucking braver than me.”
His pain guts me. “It’s easier to be brave when you have a whole family who loves you for who you are,” I remind him. I can’t imagine the torture of growing up with parents who hate a fundamental part of you.
He gives me a faint smile. “You’d have been brave anyway. It’s one of the things I love about you.”
God, I fucking love him too. So much it scares me. “Well, I am very lovable.”
His smile grows a little wider, and his grip on my neck tightens. “But I don’t look at you any differently, Mase. I hate what he did to you, but I don’t feel sorry for you if that’s what you’re worried about. I want you as much as I always have. I love you more than I ever have. I’m terrified that all you’ll see is him when you look at me, and if that’s something we have to work through together, then I’m begging you to let us try.” He steps closer and presses his forehead to mine.
“When I walked in and saw your lip bleeding, and then he pulled that gun…” He shudders. “My entire world stopped turning, baby. I was in shock, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I should have begged you to stay. I wasn’t sure I had any right to ask. But I do know that I can’t live without you.”
Fuck me. Being with this guy is like living life on a rollercoaster. But I wouldn’t choose a life that didn’t have him in it. “I never want you to live without me, King.” I pull back and level him with a look. “But for future reference, you should have led with all of that when you walked in here instead of asking me if I fucked my best friend.”
He winces. “I’m sorry. I had every intention of keeping my mouth shut about him, but then I saw you and it all went out the window. I trust you, but I spent most of the night picturing you with your hands on him and drove myself fucking crazy. For future reference, I’m still going to be a jealous, possessive asshole and will sometimes react like a complete fuck-knuckle. But I will always trust you, baby boy.”
My knees tremble and need spikes in my core. “Fuck, you know I love it when you call me that.”
He runs his nose along my jawline and down to my throat. “Yeah, I know.”
“Did you jerk off while you were imagining me fucking Tyler? I bet it made you hard.”
The growl that comes out of him has me fighting to suppress my laughter. “I swear to god, Mase, one of these days, I am going to fuck all that attitude out of you.”
I wrap my arms around his neck. “While that sounds hot, I think you secretly love my attitude.”
He sinks his teeth into my neck and sucks hard.
I bite back a groan. “I have a meeting in ten minutes. Don’t leave a mark.”
Heeding my warning, he stops. “It makes me hard leaving my marks on you. What if I want everyone to know you’re mine?”
I arch an eyebrow. “Everyone, huh?”
His expression turns serious. “Yeah. Everyone.”
I take a step back, but he follows me, keeping our bodies flush. “You want to come out?”
He nods.
Wow.
I’m torn between elation and anxiety. Is this a knee-jerk reaction to what happened last night? Because if that’s all it is… “This is a big step, King.”
He presses a soft, all-too-brief kiss on my lips. “I know it is. But it’s what I want. I’ve spent far too long living half a life—and for what? The approval of two people I despise? You are the only person who matters to me, and your opinion is the only one I truly care about.”
I place a hand on the back of his neck, holding his face close to mine. “I’m really happy that you’re doing this. And although I’m fucking thrilled about what it means for me, and for us, I’m happiest that you’re doing this for you, King. You deserve this. You deserve to be who you want to be without judgment from anyone.”
“You’re the one who gave me the courage to do it.”
