Page 36 of Playing With Fire
“He’s an attorney.”
Of-fucking-course he is.
And then it clicks…why his name sounded so familiar.
Gregor Hartley was the defense attorney for the man who killed my brother-in-law. He’s the reason that drunk bastard is roaming free while I raise Will’s kids.
Chapter 15
Shannon
By the time I get home, I’ve replayed my morning with Hudson over in my head a thousand times. I’m still in such a daze when I walk in the door, I nearly miss Gregor sitting at the counter with his head in his hands until he speaks.
“Shannon, I’m sorry.”
He moves to hug me, but it feels wrong when Hudson’s scent still lingers on my hands, so I take a small step back.
“I need some time.”
“Let’s go away this weekend,” he says quickly. “I’ve already emailed Tanner and the office manager and told them we have a family emergency and I’ll be unreachable and I’ll call my mom at first light to see if they can take Sera for a couple days.” He’s rushing his words, almost like he’s in a panic.
“Why did it take us getting to this point before you finally listened to me?” I ask.
I should be elated because this is what I’ve wanted all along. But I’m bitter, confused and angry. So fucking angry…because it’s still about him. There was no conversation. There was nowould this weekend work for you?And honestly? It doesn’t. The job I applied for with the fifty-fifty office time and telehealth option reached out with an offer, so I have several things I need to do to prepare. Plus, I’d like to keep Serafina in her routine, not ship her off to my in-laws for the whole weekend.
He has the decency to drop his eyes to the floor when he answers me. “I don’t know. I guess I assumed you loved your life and were happy. I certainly didn’t think me jacking off was cause for your abrupt departure at three in the morning.”
I shouldn’t be shocked, but my eyes still widen at the blatant passive-aggressiveness in his tone.
Shaking my head at him, I fold my arms across my chest. “Don’t play these games with me, Gregor. You know damn well this isn’t aboutoneporn video, and if you don’t know that, then perhaps we’re too far gone to even spend time trying to save this.”
It feels like the first real shot over the bow in warning that I’ve already got one foot out the door. Those words get his attention and he begins to pace the length of the island in the kitchen.
“I understand what this is about, Shannon,” he says through gritted teeth, unable to bear being at-fault for anything. “Let’s get away this weekend. Just you and me. We’ll reconnect like you’ve been asking.” The desperation in his voice gives me pause and I realize this is another part no one talks about.
The yo-yoing emotions are enough to drive even the sanest of people crazy. Depending on where I am and who I’m with, my resolve to leave can be resolute, solid as granite…or it can waver, changing like the tides. I don’t take leaving my husband lightly. I don’t take flirting with and grinding on another man’s lap lightly, either, butfuck,I just need relief.
Emotional relief.
Mental relief.
Physicalrelief.
It’s not just like I woke up one day and decidedI think I’ll cheat on my husband today and then leave him, and that was it.I’m not suddenly sold on the idea and just ready to throw the last ten years to the wind and move on.This kind of devastation is a slow burn. A place where black and white fade into gray, first at the edges, and then slowly, it creeps inward until gray consumes the whole canvas.
I should be jumping for joy that Gregor is finally willing to spend this weekend together. My heart should feel lighter. My head should feel clearer.
However, all I feel is a sense of dread at being alone with my husband—a man I barely know anymore—for two whole days, and what’s worse, I no longer want the break from my daughter.
But as that sunless gray consumes the canvas of my life, I know I have to try. For Gregor. For myself. For Serafina. Hell, even for Hudson, because if this doesn’t work and I find myself lucky enough to be in Hudson’s arms again, we both need to know I tried everything and I have no regrets. So, I really have to give this a shot.
One. Last. Time.
“Okay. This weekend,” I agree.
Trying to entice me by telling me I wouldn’t have to do any of the planning, Gregor offered to fly us to Manhattan, but I’m not quite ready to be in a different state from Serafina. He did hisbest to hide his disappointment and changed course without a word.
I’d requested the beach, but the response I got was,who goes to the beach in October? Most everything will be closed anyway since tourist season is over. So here we are, heading to our state’s second largest city…as if we don’t reside in the state’s capitol and see enough of the city as it is.
