Page 60 of Playing With Fire
I clean myself up and head upstairs, feeling like a big ball of tension even though I just came so hard my legs shook.
Monica and I go through our routine, and despite all the bullshit going on in my life, when it comes to my niece and nephew, I have no trouble being fully present. I savor every second with these two because I know Will would give anything to be here with them right now.
Goddamn, I miss him. And it seems to be getting worse…unless I’m around Shannon.
Once the kids are finally drifting off to sleep, Monica and I drag our weary asses back downstairs and she starts to pick errant toys up off the floor.
“So, I found something out that is either going to make you really happy or piss you all the way off,” I tell her, keeping my voice low in case one of the kids gets out of bed and comes to find us.
Monica straightens up and eyes me with her tongue in her cheek.
“You slept with her, didn’t you?” she asks bluntly.
“Depends on your definition ofslept with, but that’s not what it is,” I wince.
She moves to the couch and sits, patting the space next to her. “I’m too old to drink on a school night, so you’re going to have to just have to spill it,” she says, her voice tired from still adjusting to her job at the DA’s office.
“Shannon is married to the attorney who got Jason Reed off on a technicality.” I hold my breath as I wait for my sister’s reaction.
It seems like forever before she says, “For fuck’s sake, Hudson, you’re messing around with ShannonHartley? Gregor Hartley’s wife?” I nod, but stay quiet. “Hudson James Goddorah, you’ve got to stop this right now. I mean it. That guy is the worst. He has no morals…obviously, but unfortunately, he’s powerful and one hell of an attorney.”
“Yeah, so I’ve been told. The problem is I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s more than sex, Mon. I likeher.I like being around her. I like making her smile.”
“I should’ve poured alcohol for this conversation,” Monica says flatly before continuing. “Well, I guess a bright side here is that it’ll be gloriously ironic if she leaves him for you. He took something from us so I guess this is a great way to repay him.”
My jaw clenches. “Monica, I’m not falling for Shannon out of some revenge plot. I just want to help her find the life she wants.”
I watch as my sister chews on her lip at war with herself. “I’ll keep my eyes and ears peeled for anything that could help,” she finally says, huffing out a laugh. “The case I got assigned to is one of his. I’ll have to see the smug bastard every day in court now that the case he took from Driscoll finally has a date.”
My stomach flips.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You shouldn’t have to do that. Can’t you ask to be given a different trial?”
She shakes her head. “Not if I want to keep this job. And I didn’t tell you because I knew it would make you upset.” She pats my shoulder. “I know you miss Will as much as I do.”
“This is kind of a mess, isn’t it?” I joke, even though it isn’t funny at all.
Monica blows out a breath. “I’m not sure what you expected when you started getting involved with a married woman, but yeah, this is probably messier than your average affair.”
After a couple beats of silence, I stand. “Well, I should get going.”
My sister looks up at me from the couch. “Are you going to keep seeing her?”
I give her the most honest answer I can. “I didn’t seek Shannon out on purpose. I don’twantto be attracted to her, or complicate any of our lives. But I’m not going to walk away until she tells me to.”
“Don’t you think you should at least cool it until she’s officially separated?” The question isn’t unreasonable. In fact, it’s a really good idea. If only my brain were on board.
“I think that’s a great idea. Unfortunately, she’s allowed herself to become isolated and has no one outside of her parents to help her through this.”
Monica stands and begins to pace. “That’s not your problem,Hudson!” she whispers vehemently. She’s only trying to look out for me, but her frustration is making my own rise.
“So, what? I just turn my back on her? Itismy problem because I’m trying to be a decent human being,” I argue.
“Since when is sleeping with someone else’s wife considered being a decent human being?”
Ouch.
I’m not saying she’s wrong, but it’s more complicated than that.
