Page 38 of Playing With Fire
“Who will watch Serafina? Who will take over at the house?” He grows more annoyed with every question.
“We’ll hire a housekeeper and Serafina can stay with my mother some of the time and daycare some of the time.” I haven’t actually asked my mom about this yet, but she and my dad moved from the coast to be closer to their granddaughter,and I know she’d be more than okay with the arrangement. Plus, my parents are far more active than Greg’s, and I know my mom would keep Serafina on the schedule I’ve established with her.
“So, you’re just going to let our daughter be raised by other people? Including yourmother?Serafina isourresponsibility, Shannon.”
“First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having my mother watch her. And it’s laughable that you say Serafina isourresponsibility when you wouldn’t make it through a day with her on your own. You don’t know what she eats, when she naps, what toys she likes to play with. Serafina has beenmyresponsibility since the day she was created.” I’m getting fired up and this isn’t how I wanted this to go. “Not to mention, Serafina is withyourparents as we speak.”
Regardless of my feelings toward him, Gregor is not someone I want as an enemy, so I try to get my anger under control.
“She’s there so that I could bring you on this trip you so desperately wanted! You’re telling me you’re going to just pass our daughter off onto others every day while you traipse about in pursuit of happiness?”
I stare at him, my mouth agape.
“Traipse about?Going back to practice medicine as a board-certified MD is what you considertraipsing about?”
Gregor sets his fork on his plate and dabs his mouth with his napkin like he doesn’t want to smear his lipstick. Without intending to, I immediately think of Hudson’s short, scratchy beard. The way he’d probably just hold the napkin to his mouth and wipe the whole thing at once, not really giving a damn if he missed a spot. I smile thinking about how much he’d probably hate this place.
Meanwhile, Gregor is still fighting with himself to keep his own anger under control across the table. Finally, he nods.
“When you’re ready, we’ll discuss options.” He places two fingers in the air to signal the check, and doesn’t even look at me or the waitress when she collects his card.
Iamready and I have more options than you know,I think to myself.
We head home on Sunday no closer to each other than we were when we arrived. We’ve avoided any more discussion about my job, and I know Gregor is trying to sweep it under the rug as if it’s not happening.
Turning into the driveway of the home that is quickly becoming a prison, Gregor turns a puzzled expression my way. “Did you by chance order the new firepit we’d talked about? I’d love to have Simon and Renee over for cocktails sometime next week, after things settle down from this trip.”
“Right, the trip tomorrow. The order must’ve slipped my mind,” I muse out loud, as Greg keeps up the ruse that everything is fine between us.
“I’m sure it’s hard keeping up with the details of our lives since you know, you’re planning your return to work and all.”
He’s hurt.
I know he interprets me wanting to go back to work as him not being good enough or providing what I want, but that isn’t it at all, which I’d try to explain if he would just talk to me instead of lashing out every chance he gets.
Blood turns to ice in my veins as overwhelming sadness threatens to pull me under. This is not the man I married. Thisis a prison guard. The wordsI want a divorceare on the tip of my tongue, but I need to tread carefully. I also need to get a few more things in place before I make the announcement, however, arriving at the conclusion I knew, deep in my marrow, was coming, I feel an unexpected wave of relief. A light at the end of my dark tunnel.
But for now, I have to bide my time.
“I’ll order it today,” I tell him. My voice doesn’t shake like I expected it to, but it is completely monotone. Gregor doesn’t notice though, since the end result is ultimately him getting what he wants.
“Perfect,” he says with a smile.
He pulls into the garage while I place the order for the firepit with next-day delivery and smile when I read the box at the bottom.
Signature required.
Chapter 16
Hudson
Scanning my list this morning, I see Shannon’s address and I’m nervous about how this delivery is going to go. I haven’t seen her since the night at the lake. I’ve been trying to process how I feel about Gregor being the one who got Will’s murderer off, and while part of me thinks it would be justified vengeance to take his wife, the other part knows Shannon doesn’t deserve to be used as a tool for revenge.
Trying to give us as much time as I can manage—in case she wants to talk—I schedule my lunch break immediately following her delivery. That way, the GPS monitor won’t notify dispatch that I’ve been stationary for so long and selfishly, I’ll probably need thirty minutes to get my shit together no matter which way this goes.
And if she isn’t ready to talk or she wants to ignore whatever is between us, then no harm, no foul. I’ll get in my truck, eat my leftover chicken piccata and roll to the next house as if I’m not splintering into a million pieces.
I’m a fucking fool for letting my thoughts and feelings get away from me like this. She’s been married since the day I mether and yet, Jake’s right…I can’t help who I’m attracted to. Nor can I help that she ran into me during an extremely vulnerable moment and clearly wanted to cross a line, spiking my desire without my consent.
