Page 79 of From the Ashes
“I’d actually prefer you never wear pants again, regardless of who we’re discussing.”
He rolls his body so he’s now sitting up, straddling my thighs. “Is that so?”
I grip his hips, taking in his glorious body. My hands are big, but they don’t span his waist, and my cock twitches against his ass.
“Stop deflecting. How are you handling all of this?” I ask again.
Using both hands, he traces shapes on my chest, avoiding eye contact.
“I think I’m okay. I’ll admit, finding out about Colton at the same time I ran back into you was a lot, but it seems to be going okay.” He gives me an almost-shy smile as he rolls his hips slowly.
“Have you and Alexis talked about arrangements moving forward?” This time it’s my turn to avert my gaze. When I was pushing Walker away, his kid wasn’t my problem. But now, if he and I are going to make a go at this…then Walker and his parents aren’t the only ones who need to come to terms with Colton’s presence.
Suddenly thoughts about blended families, being a step-parent, school projects, and other terrifying shit enters my mind.
Am I ready for this?
Hell, is this even what I really want?
“Hey, Phoe, where’d you go?” Walker’s voice pulls me back to the present as he leans his weight forward to press kisses against my jaw.
“It’s just a lot to wrap my head around, you know?”
It’s the wrong thing to say, and I watch as panic flares in his eyes. “Is it…is it too much?” he asks.
I study his features as I contemplate my next words, wanting to give him the truth.The whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me, God.
“It’ll be hard. In fact, being together—but apart—while you’re on the circuit could potentially be harder than not being together at all, but I meant what I said, Walker. You’re mine and there is no going back.”
He nods, relief visible on his features as the wince on his face disappears and the corners of his eyes are no longer wrinkled.
“Lexi and I haven’t really worked out any details, no. That’s part of the reason I was thinking they could come over.” He looks away, unsure of what he’s about to say next. In an effort to encourage him to continue, I rub my hands along his upper arms.
“What is it, baby?”
At the term of endearment, his eyes meet mine.
“I think I want to be in his life, though. Like, I want to watch him grow up, and help Alexis, and be present for Colton. I never wanted kids, but now that I know I have one, I don’twant to turn my back on him.” My heart pinches in my chest. Walker is sogood.He grows even more serious and adds, “I want to stay with you, Phoenix. I don’t want to go back to Texas at the end of September.”
My face splits into a wide smile. “Then don’t.”
Chapter 33
Walker
It’s another week before Alexis and Colton are free to come over, but in that time, Phoenix and I have really settled into a rhythm. With no expiration date looming over our heads, there’s been more breathing room, even if I still have a lot of things to work through.
Like finding a coach.
Like telling my parents I’m gay, I have a boyfriend, I have a son, and I’m not coming home.
Like figuring out how to tell my sponsors Phoenix and I are together so they don’t hear it from some scandalous tabloid.
But neither Phoe nor I want to discuss the dirty details so soon. The bubble of bliss we’ve created for ourselves is too warm and cozy.
Phoenix has been working at the fire station a lot this week. With one of the full-time guys on vacation and an increase in fire danger due to high winds, he’s been asked to cover a couple of shifts. He looks exhausted and yesterday, he took a nap…which heneverdoes. I feel a little guilty about having Alexisand Colton come over today, knowing Phoe needs a day to relax, but he assured me it was fine.
Only, now I’m wondering if he regrets it as I pace back and forth in the living room, anxiously waiting to hear her car pull up.
