Page 34 of From the Ashes
Neither of us seems to want to leave, but we also don’t know what else to say in our fragile state. To break the silence,Walker holds up his broken wrist. “They said no surgery because it isn’t displaced, but it could become so if I fall again.” He tries to move his fingers but they’re so swollen they barely wiggle. “Gave me a removable brace instead of a cast because he said he’s seen too many cowboys cut ‘em off and that just makes everything worse.”
I snort a laugh because I know we make shitty patients.
“Yeah, well, just do what they tell you and you’ll be better in no time.”
His uninjured hand raises to caress my cheek slowly, his words a whisper. “If only hearts would heal as fast as bones, huh?”
Damn him. I can’t stop myself from nuzzling into his touch. His thumb comes around to brush across my lips and except for that one small body part, we stand completely still. Both of us afraid to break the spell.
There are so many things we need to say to each other, but for this small moment in time, we allow ourselves to just exhale in relief at being together. It’s becoming increasingly clear with every interaction that whatever was between us back then is still present, and perhaps I’m not the only one who’s struggled to let go.
But what I said earlier is still true. This changes nothing.
All too soon our moment is over when a couple of drunk cowboys come barreling out of the door next to us, all loud voices and laughter, arms slung over their girls.
Walker drops his hand and we both stay silent so as not to draw attention to ourselves. By the time the group has gone, the spell is broken, even if I can’t step away from Walker like I should.
“The friend of mine who texted will be here soon to help me with a new latch for the door we put on the barn,” I tell him, staring at his chest, too much of a pussy to raise my eyes to his,knowing I’ll find pain and regret there. “So, I should probably head to the stalls,” I say throwing a thumb over my shoulder.
He nods. “I should go talk to Jonas and figure out our plan from here.”
My turn to nod.
Fuck, I want to kiss him, but that won’t make any of this easier. He’ll be gone by first light and I’ll already be trying to scrub my memory clean of last night’s kiss. I don’t need to add another. It’s bad enough I’ll feel his thumb on my lips for days to come.
“Be careful with that guy, okay?” I warn Walker about his coach as the first part of this goodbye. “Do your research even if he won’t.”
“Yeah,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. I let my eyes have one last greedy look and before I can stop myself, I’m reaching forward. With two fingers, I tap the edge of his hat, angling it down over his eyes before bringing those same fingers to my lips and then pressing them against his heart just like before.
His breathing falters loudly enough that I hear it over the crunch of tires on the gravel behind us.
Which reminds me…people can see us.
I drop my hand and swallow hard.
“Take care of yourself.”
Chapter 17
Walker
My body aches from the fall, but it pales in comparison to the damage being done to my head, my heart, and my emotions right now. I’d happily throw myself off that bronc ten more times just to make this pain go away.
Phoenix takes all my strength as he walks away. Rightfully so, since he’s who I derived it from anyway.
My knees give out and I slide down the wall of the arena until my ass lands in the dirt. I don’t know how long I stay there, but eventually, I remember the message waiting for me on my phone. Deciding I might as well add more shit to the already heaping pile, I stand and make my way back to the camper. The small space I once craved after dealing with the PR team, media, fans, and the noise of the arena, now feels like a prison cell.
And I’m becoming quite disenchanted with my cell mate.
Thankfully, the shower’s running when I come in, telling me I have a few minutes of peace. I need to shower and change myself, but first things first. I desperately wanta beer, but the doc insisted I take a couple oxycodone before he released me, and I’m pretty sure those two don’t mix. Bypassing the fridge, I head to the small bedroom and close the door, grabbing my phone to finally face the music.
I had assumed my world was already as upside down as it could get…but what greets me proves me so fucking wrong.
Holy. Fucking.Shit.
The emotions that surge through me are so powerful, I can’t stay seated any longer. I cycle through them quickly,pissedthat she’s keptthis from me,scaredbecausewhat the fuck, relievedbecause one of my biggest regrets doesn’t have to be regretted anymore, and some other emotion that feels positive, but I’m hesitant to label it as joy or happiness over this news.
One thing is for sure. It’s too much. It’s all too much. Just like it was back then.
