Page 84 of From the Ashes
By the time we pull back into the station, my symptoms of blurred vision, mental cloudiness, and heavy limbs have mostly subsided. All that remains is a headache. They asked if I wanted to go to the hospital just to be on the safe side, but I declined. I just want to go home and hold Walker.
On a superficial level, I knew being a firefighter wasn’t a whole lot safer than riding broncs, but I justified it because we honestly get called to more emergencies that have nothing to do with fire than we do toactualfires. Plus, I work with a team, and I don’t spend much time upside down or incurring blunt force trauma to my head.
But tonight was eye-opening. Seeing Langley under that beam put a lot into perspective for me. Especially considering that Walker gives my system so much adrenaline that I’m not so sure I need to risk life and limb doing this anymore.
Thankfully, the other guys refill the truck, fill out the paperwork, and let me deal with the gear, so even though it’ll be another couple hours before I can get home, I have the easiest of the jobs.
I have no idea what time it is as I make my way to my locker. I need to send Walker and Cassie a text at the very least, but when I pull my phone out, I realize it’s dead.
“Well, shit. Anyone got a phone charger I can use?” I ask the guys as they tiredly spill into the locker room.
“Yeah, I got one,” Paul says, turning the dial on his lock.
I haven’t had a chance to thank Knox for saving my ass, so after I get my phone plugged in, I try to find him while I wait for my turn in the showers.
He’s drinking a bottle of water on the couch in the game room. The T.V. is off and it’s deserted in here. After what we just went through, the guys not in the showers have all hit thebunks. The clock on the far wall tells me it’s two-thirty in the morning.
Jesus. We were at that fire for almost twelve hours.
“Hey,” I say, clapping Knox on the shoulder as I take a seat next to him.
“Hey, glad to see you’ve got some color back in your cheeks. How are you feeling?”
I laugh. “Yeah, oxygen will do that for you, I guess. Still feel like shit, although my vision is finally back to normal.”
“You should’ve let them check you out at the hospital, Phoe,” Knox admonishes. He’s such a caretaker, and it breaks my heart that outside of our group, he doesn’t have anyone to fuss over because I really think he enjoys that role…at least as much as Knox enjoys anything.
We sit in silence for a moment, letting the seriousness of tonight wash over us, but finally I break it.
“Any word on Lang?”
He shakes his head. “Captain said she’d let us know as soon as she heard anything.”
“Thank you for coming in with me,” I tell him. “I don’t know what happened to my respirator, but Lang and I would both be dead if it weren’t for you.”
He nods slowly. There’s not really a great way to thank someone for saving your life. Words always fall short because life is so precious that words alone don’t feel like enough, and I vow to myself to do better where Knox is concerned. To help him find happiness again and drag him out of this shell.
But for now, I just sit with him until a shower opens up and my phone gets enough juice to turn on. As I wait, my mind returns to Walker. At home. Alone in my bed. I just got him back and I almost lost the future we might have.
I swallow hard, my hands itching to hold him. My lipsneeding to be pressed against his. And that nagging thought occurs to me again.
I don’t think I’m cut out for this job anymore.
But what the hell will I do instead?
Chapter 35
Walker
It’s two-thirty in the morning. Phoenix should have been home hours ago, and he’s not answering his phone. In fact,it’sgoing straight to voicemail which sendsmestraight into panic mode. The only other number I have is for Knox, and he’s not answering either.
I’m going out of my mind.
By two forty-five, I can’t stand it anymore. I grab the keys to the Jeep and fire her up.
I know which fire station is his because everyone in their friend group wears a Station 286 hat or t-shirt every time I see them.
Pulling into the lot, I realize I have no idea if I’m allowed to be here. I have even less of an idea if Phoenix wants me here. He’s onlyjustcome out to his best friends, and I know nothing about the culture of a fire station.
