Page 67 of From the Ashes
“He’s such a cool little kid,” Walker beams proudly. “Alexis has done an amazing job. I think you’d really like her. It’s hard not to like Lexi,” he rambles. “I told her about you.”
I throw the truck in reverse and slowly start backing up. “What exactly did you tell her?” I’m merely curious, but he must interpret it as panic.
“Relax, just that I’m staying with you,” he says with a bite.
“Hey,” I respond, automatically reaching for his hand, but quickly covering up the move by changing course and adjusting the air dial before making contact. “You can tell her whatever you want. I was just curious.” My response is meant to calm hisire, but I’m not sure it worked. He changes the subject, but keeps talking.
I imagine it’s a lot to process.
“Colton asked if he could come see the horses. I hope it’s okay that I said yes.”
“Of course it’s okay.” I want to sayit’s your house too, but then I remember, it isn’t. He’s leaving in a few short weeks.
Walker talks the entire ride back to the house. He’s buzzing with excitement and I’m so happy for him I could burst.
When he pauses to take a breath, I ask a few questions to understand the situation better.
“So, if you and Alexis went to high school together, how did you not know she didn’t go through with it?”
“She moved to live with her aunt when her dad lost his job. He was a drunk and it was a miracle he’d even gotten one in the first place. He was angry all the time and terribly unreliable. Her parents could barely afford to feed her, so I didn’t think anything of it when she said she was leaving. We stayed in touch for a little bit via text and phone calls, but after I won the championship, my entire life became training and competing. I only finished high school because my dad required it.”
“How did she react to seeing you again?” I hope like hell he can’t hear the tone of insecurity in my voice. It’s completely fucked up, anyway. What if she wants to rekindle things? That would be great for all of them. Walker seems to genuinely care for her, and Colton would have a complete family. Even if he’s gay, I can see Walker denying himself in an effort to be there for them. Pain lances my heart.
“She was happy, I think. She looked much better,healthier,than the last time I saw her. She hugged me like we’d never missed a beat and I only cried for a second as I told her how sorry I was. The whole meeting was easier than I expected, but when I first saw Colton, I wanted to fall to my knees andbeg for forgiveness. I had fully planned on ending his life. Seeing him so tall and vibrant andalive…hearing his laugh…it stole the breath from my lungs. He loved the horse by the way, so, uh, thanks for that,” he finally pauses and takes a breath.
“I’m glad it went well.” I wish my voice didn’t sound so flat, but thankfully, Walker’s too keyed up to notice. In fact, he’s still talking as I pull into my driveway.
I’m grateful when my phone dings telling me I have a text message just to give me a reprieve from his happiness. Ugh. Iamhappy for him, but his happiness just makes my own misery stand out even more.
I know he thinks I’m being ridiculous about our situation. I know I’ve hurt him by telling him no…hell, I’ve hurtmyselftoo. But one of us has to think about his futurerealistically,and it obviously isn’t going to be him. I spend a solid five minutes trying to justify my actions to myself when the fucking devil on my shoulder puts in his two cents, trying to weaken my resolve.You haven’t gone through even half of what he’s been through. You think he’s being reckless, but what if he has a better grasp on what he wants than you do?
Great, my selfish side is making better arguments than my rational side, and that doesn’t bode well for anyone.
Shoving all those thoughts to the back of my mind, I pull out my phone, hoping it’s one of the guys. I could use some space from Walker as we both enter the house.
A text from Knox makes me smile.
Knox:
Grab your shit and meet us at the dock. Boat leaves in thirty.
But his next one makes me frown.
Knox:
Bring Walker.
Phoenix:
No.
Knox:
Yes.
Phoenix:
NO.
