Page 46 of From the Ashes
“You want to talk about it, yet?” I ask softly, alerting him to my presence.
When Walker raises his eyes to look at me, they’re rimmed in red and I almost,almost,pull him into my arms.
“Not really,” he says with a sniffle.
I clasp my hands together to ensure I don’t reach for him. “Look, our history is fucked up, but if you need help with something, I’m…” I trail off not knowing how to finish that offer.
“The thing I need help with is the reason our history happened in the first place. But unlike back then, you can’t help me this time. It’s something I have to do on my own.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, knowing and not caring that he can hear the begging in my voice.
“Phoenix, I appreciate you letting me stay here. You’ve already saved me so many fucking times I’ve lost count. It feels like…” He bites the inside of his cheek and his nostrils flare as he fights another wave of tears, but he loses, and one rolls down his face. He swipes at it quickly and takes another sip of his drink, gutting me in the process.
I still his hand before the cup reaches his lips. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I don’t want him to drown his sorrows in liquor, not when I’m standing right here offering to help.
“It feels like what, Walker?” I ask quietly, urging him to continue.
He pulls his eyes away from me and picks at invisible lint on his brace.
“It feels like this thing between us is so fragile that I don’t want to jeopardize it by adding more baggage.” I start to interrupt him, but he holds up a hand. “Deny it all you want, Phoenix, but thereissomething here. There has been ever since our eyes locked across that bonfire. And even if all we end up as is friends with a history, it’s better than the enemies we’ve been for the last eight years.”
I stay silent, unsure how to answer as he finally finishes his drink.
It isn’t until he gets up and puts his cup in the dishwasher that I finally respond.
“When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”
“Thanks,” is all he says before heading back up the stairs.
All I can think iscowboys don’t cry, so what’s got him so torn up that he couldn’t hold it back?
The next morning,I’m pouring another cup of coffee after waking early and doing the necessary farm chores. I love my farm, but man, it’s nice being able to pay someone to do the things thathaveto get done. I miss Trisha already, and am glad Walker’s here to help out when I have to go back to work on Monday, even if I’ll worry about his wrist the entire time.
Speaking of the devil, he comes into the kitchen a moment later. I expect his eyes to be puffy and his hair to be a mess, especially since it’s longer on top than most cowboys keep it, but he looks fucking sexy and oddly, well rested.
“Coffee?” I ask, already turning to grab a mug for him, afraid if I let my gaze linger, I’ll find his lips and stare too long…becauseGod…those fucking lips.They were made to wrap around my cock.
“Yes, please,” he says, his voice deeper than usual as sleep clings to it.
Neither he nor I mention the previous night. Like all of our secrets, it disappeared with the dawn.
“So, uh, a good friend of mine is in town this week. She’s going back to Miami tomorrow morning so everyone’s getting together for dinner tonight at Knox’s house. He’s the guy?—”
“I remember who he is,” Walker says quickly.
“Right. Well, you’re welcome to come along. Cassie won’t mind. She’s a big fan.” I huff out a laugh and roll my eyes. “You won thehottestcowboy at the rodeoaward between her and our other friend, Shannon.”
I give Walker a tight smile, willing myself to shut the fuckup. I’m rambling and I’m honestly not sure if my rambles are designed to make him say yes or no to coming with me.
“Yeah, sure,” he says casually, allowing me to release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “I’ve got time to kill and it would probably do me some good to get out of my own head for a bit. Thanks.”
His answer takes me by surprise. I fully expected him to comment on the hottest cowboy award, but he let it go like he didn’t even hear that part.
After coffee, we pass the day in a semi-strained state. Each of us dancing around the other, doing our best to ignore the tension rising around us.
Walker was right last night.
Thereissomething between us. And if either of us gives it room to grow, it has the potential to destroy us both.
