Page 69 of From Paris, with Butter
“What if you…” my voice failed. I cleared my throat and tried again. “What ifyou cut back your time at the restaurant? Like you planned originally.”
Laurent shook his head, his gaze still on the ground. “I can’t pull back now,” he whispered. “It’ll ruin my career. They’ll fire me straight off, and I need a good recommendation from them if I ever want to get another chef position. I’d be dooming myself to a lifetime of office jobs.”
“And being with me isn’t enough to convince you to quit?”
For just a moment, he raised his eyes to mine, then he was back to staring at the ground. “It isn’t like that. You and I could make it work. It’s just hard right now. You’rethe one making me choose.”
I spoke softly. “You once chose me. Before all this.”
Laurent didn’t even bother looking at me.
So that was it then. I had no ideas left, nothing to pull out of my back pocket that would turn things around and save this relationship.
“I booked the overnight train back to Paris,” I said, my voice as flat as his. “I should probably leave now.”
Finally, Laurent lifted his head. His eyes were nearly as red as I’m sure mine were.
“I’m sorry I failed you.”
I was still overwhelmed with hurt and anger, but Laurent looked so sad standing in his doorway. I crossed the distance between us, wrapped my arms around him, and breathed in the scent of the kitchens he’d brought home. Then I deliberately stepped away and grabbed my bags.
“I’m going to call a taxi.”
We stood together in his doorway, not speaking or touching, for the few minutes it took for the taxi to arrive. When it did, I looked at Laurent a final time.
What do you say when your world is crashing down around you?
“Bonne chance, Laurent,” I whispered.
He took a step closer and placed a gentle hand on my waist. For a wild moment, I thought he would kiss me, and we’d be caught up in a passionate embrace and throw away all our worries about the future, and his job, and managing this relationship, just to keep this happiness we’d found.
But all he did was lean close and place a soft kiss on my cheekbone.
Then he opened the door, and I stepped out into the night.
Chapter 26
For the next several days I simply went through the motions of my life: get up, shower, get dressed, walk aimlessly around the city until I exhausted myself, then crawl back into bed and wait for night to pass. Of course I had ended up back where I always did. Of course I’d ended up alone again. It was a relief to return to work, just to feel like I had some sort of purpose again.
And there was going to be a proposal tonight.
Austin Winters had been emailing Le Jules Verne extensively for the past two months, wanting to get every detail just right. Everything was set: the ring had been dropped off yesterday, and I’d be the one to slip it in his girlfriend’s champagne glass before serving the drinks. As I stepped into the restaurant, I blocked out every thought of Laurent. The only thing I wanted to focus on was having this engagement go as perfectly as possible.
Luc called me over when Austin and his girlfriend, Jackie, arrived. Jackie was thrilled with the restaurant, but Austin looked distinctively queasy. I gave him a reassuring smile while Jackie was admiring the wallpaper.
Jackie and Austin were both young, in their early twenties. They’d met in a French class at university they told me in slow, careful French.
“Your accents are very good,” I told them, smiling. “Our sommelier will be over shortly, but, until then, can I start you off with something to drink?”
“I’ll have champagne,” Austin said immediately. It would have been slightly more natural if he’d at least looked at the menu, but I could work with what he was giving me.
“Very good, Monsieur. And you, Mademoiselle?”
“Oh, I have a bit of a headache. Just water for me,” Jackie said with a smile.
Austin looked terrified, but I knew there were plenty of ways out of this.
“Excellent, Mademoiselle. Sparkling or still?”
