Page 33 of Punchline
I cleared my throat and leaned my hip against the counter. “Can I, uh… Can I help with anything?”
He smiled as he put a pack of shrimp beside the stove. “Nah, I’ve got it. You can just hang out and keep me company.”
“I can do that.”
Watching him in action in the kitchen was more interesting than it probably should’ve been. I’d never cared much about a guy’s cooking prowess, but there was something sexy about how he went through all the motions with practiced ease. As if he were as confident and competent in here as he was on the mat.
Maybe that was what it was—I loved watching guys doing something they weregoodat.
Or maybe I just really,reallyenjoyed watching Jake do literally anything. Especially when he was wearing a black tank that showed off his powerful muscles and elaborate tattoos, not to mention the gym shorts that hugged his hips just right. He could’ve been mopping the floor or pantomiming a wild story and I’d have been staring at him the same damn way.
When was that last time I was this stupid for someone?
Eh. Whatever. I liked it.
And if I wanted to keep it going, I needed to not spook him. It seemed contradictory, thinking I could spook aliteral fighter built like a brick shithouse, but anyone could move too fast and regret things.
I shifted my weight, drumming my fingers on the counter as I fought the urge to fold my arms. I wasn’t defensive, and I didn’t want to look the part—I was just twitchy and edgy and needed something to occupy my damn hands.
“So, uh… ” I cleared my throat again. “I don’t… I don’t want to make things weird, and I hate awkward conversations, but… ”
Jake looked at me, and I thought that was actual fear in his eyes. Like I’d caught him so off-guard, he’d gone deer-in-the-headlights on me. Shit. I’d barely started this conversation and I already needed to salvage it.
“I just don’t want to move too fast,” I blurted out. “I… I really like everything we’re doing. And earlier—that was fun.” I laughed nervously as my cheeks burned. “It was alotof fun.”
A mix of relief and amusement took over his expression. “Yeah, it was.”
“Right. So.” I fidgeted. “You’re new to this, though, right? With guys?”
The relief and amusement fled in favor of shyness and maybe some embarrassment. He focused hard on the sauce he was stirring and quietly said, “Yeah. Really new to it.” He scrunched up his face, then sighed. “Like, when Carson told me he had a boyfriend last year, I kind of freaked out because… ” His eyes lost focus. After a moment, he shook his head. “I don’t know. I think I was in some hardcore denial about being into men, and then finding out my best friend was gay… “ He turned to me, brow pinched. “I’m not proud of how I reacted, let’s put it that way.”
“I get that. It was probably weird, realizing that about yourself as an adult.”
He grunted and gave a little nod. “It was.”
“I bet. And… I mean, that’s also kind of what I’m getting at—it’s really, really new for you. I don’t want us to dive into bed or whatever and have you regret it afterward, you know?”
Jake gnawed his lip. “I guess? I go back and forth between being scared to try anything and wanting to make up for lost time. I don’t really know what I should do.”
I pushed myself off the counter and came closer. Sliding a hand over the small of his back, I softly said, “Taking it slow is probably the best thing, then. So you have time to figure out what you want.”
He put the spoon down and turned to face me. As he wrapped his arms around me, he murmured, “Iknowwhat I want.” The fire in his eyes added the unspoken:I want you.
I swallowed. “Me too. I want it a lot, believe me.” I slid my hands up his chest. “But there’s no hurry, you know? It’s like… ” I hesitated. “I mean, I’m not going to go charging out onto the ice and start a fight so I can try out everything you’ve taught me.”
That made Jake laugh, which broke some of the tension. He drew me in a little closer. “Fighting and fucking aren’t the same, though.”
“No, but I’d probably have some regrets if I got my jaw broken because I thought I could fight at the level of my MMA—” The word“boyfriend”caught in my throat, thank God. “My MMA coach.”
He chuckled as if he saw right through to what I’d almost said. “I don’t think you’re going to break my jaw in bed, though.” His lips quirked. “Not unless you really want to fuck my face hard enough to?—”
I burst out laughing. “Oh my God… ”
He laughed too, and dusted a kiss across my lips. “Seriously, though. We’re not going to beat each other up, you know?”
Sobering, I said, “No, we’re not. But if we go diving into bed and try everything under the sun, and then tomorrow you’re like, ‘damn, I don’t think I was ready for that’… ” I grimaced.
Jake chewed the inside of his cheek. “I mean… maybe? But I wasted a lot of time not even realizing this was what I wanted.”
