Page 22 of Whoops-A-Mate From Outer Space
He licked his lips and glanced at the floor before responding. “A few minutes ago, I informed you that humans find us overwhelming. Myself and the other Lalyllte have noticed that everybody here reacts to us in some way. We believe it is due to our stronger pheromones. Gentle probing has indicated that the reaction is proportional to the preference of mate gender. However, you do not react in a similar fashion. Even those who are adamant that they are only interested in women react to a tiny extent, but you do not seem to react at all.”
I rolled my stool over, rested my back against the counter, and stared up at the drop ceiling. “My… preferences… are complicated.”
“How so? If you do not mind.”
I chuckled. “Romantically, I don’t have a preference. I can see myself falling in love as easily with a man as with a woman—or even somebody who is outside the normal gender binary. It’s the person that matters.”
“That is strange. Somebody else said something similar. He called it…” he paused, “bisexual. But he still reacted quite strongly to our presence. ”
I nodded. “That’s the term most are familiar with, but it doesn’t fit me.”
“Please explain.”
“Romantic and sexual attraction don’t always align in humans. A person can desire romantic relationships with one gender, but have differing sexual attractions.”
“So…” he paused with a contemplative expression. “You have no preference in a romantic partner, but are only sexually attracted to women?”
I laughed. “I’m sexually attracted to nobody. At least at first.”
“You do not wish for a sexual partner at all?”
I shook my head. “It’s not that. People who have no sexual attraction are asexual. Some may still want romantic attachments, some don’t even want that. I’m what’s known as demisexual.”
“What is that?”
“I appreciate physical beauty as much as the next person, in case you’re wondering. And I do experience sexual attraction, but only once I’ve developed an emotional connection.”
“So once you know somebody well enough, then you experience sexual attraction?”
I chuckled. “Even then, I might not desire somebody in that way. It makes dating… difficult. A lot of people want to start sleeping together after a handful of dates, but I’m not ready.”
“It is a gradual process?” he asked.
I chuckled and turned to face him. “Yes and no. It’s different for everybody. For me, getting to know somebody well enough can be fast or slow, but then it’s like a switch in my brain. Once my brain decides I’m sexually attracted, I’m there. The attraction itself is off, until it’s on.”
“I think I understand.”
“You don’t have similar people on Lyll?” My tongue tripped on his planet’s name, but his slight smile told me he appreciated the effort.
He stroked his chin as he considered the question. “It is exceedingly rare for us to have long courtship periods. Perhaps it is that those cases include those who need that connection first, but it is so uncommon that if there is a name for it, it is not widely known.”
“I don’t know how I feel about that,” I admitted. “I often felt like an outcast when I was younger because of it. Kids my age had fantasies about celebrities and crushes. They went on dates and had their first times while I wondered if I was broken.”
“Gene…” he started with a sympathetic tone.
I smiled and shook my head. “It got a bit better as I got older and realized there was a name for it. I wasn’t alone, even if I didn’t know anybody like me back then. Eventually, I met others and found my community. Dating is still a struggle, but I don’t feel isolated anymore.”
“It is good to hear that you have found others who understand. But… your parents were not able to help?”
I sighed. “My parents were great, but they were from a different time. Such things were not discussed when they were young. They were supportive—as much as they could be—but they didn’t know how to help.”
“Were?” he asked gently. “You speak as if they are deceased.”
I let out a dark chuckle. “They are. Dad passed six years ago, and Mom five.”
“I am sorry for your loss. Did something happen?”
I shook my head. “No. Old age.”
