Page 42 of Last Call Lindy Hop
I wasn’t aware of how ravenous I was until I took that first bite, then it was like I couldn’t get it into me fast enough. I was already halfway into a second plate before I noticed Eli mostly taking smaller bites.
“Not hungry?” I asked.
He chuckled. “I kinda had lunch with Kenzie to find out how you were doing. Then I decided I had to come straight here. I was on the way when I realized that you might want more food than churros. I remembered talking about Thai with you, and went for it.”
“Thank you.”
He smiled and took a small bite.
“How-how do you like it?”
He grinned. “It’s good. We’ll have to go get more when I’m not already full though.”
“Ok…” I replied, holding back tears at the way he so casually stated that he still wanted to do things with me.
“Hey,” he said, noticing and scooting his chair around so that he could rest his hand on my knee. “I’m here, and I’ll be here as long as you want.”
I sniffled. “Thank you.”
He abandoned his food to stay near me as I ate, and it was like a tether through the storm of my emotions.
Eli hadn’t abandoned me.
Once I’d finished my noodles, and Eli put the leftovers in the fridge, we took the bag of churros to the couch and sat.
I moaned softly at the sugary sweetness, and once again marveled that he’d brought them.
Then they were gone, and I had no idea how to proceed. Eli had said that he was there, but he’d also mentioned that I hadn’t responded to his texts.
Which meant that I’d ghosted him for weeks, and hurt him too.
“Come back to me,” he said softly, taking my hands in his. He tugged. “Come on. I’d like to cuddle, if that’s ok with you.”
I sighed as I scooted in and turned to rest in his arms.
Eli made a noise of contentment as I settled against him, and it really started to sink in that he was serious.
He’d wanted to kiss me, and more it seemed.
We stayed that way in silence for several minutes, his arms around me in a way that seemed to reach right past the years of pain and soothe the most injured parts of my soul.
I’d nearly fallen asleep from how comfortable I was when he finally spoke. “Lance?”
“Yeah?” I mumbled.
“I want this… with you. If you do, that is.”
I hummed in response.
“But…” he said softly, rubbing one of my arms with his hand. “I know you’ve got pain hidden inside you. I don’t want to hurt you further, which means…” he took a deep breath. “I don’t need to know everything right now, but I do need you to tell me what I need to avoid most, and tell me when I’m getting too close to things that could cause you pain.”
I licked my lips and sat up, even though everything in me wanted to return to his embrace.
“It’s… it’s not that simple.”
“Ok…”
I scrubbed my face with both hands. He needed to know, and I needed to tell him. It was time to face the past.
