Page 64 of Fireworks Flame
“You lose every time.” Simone shakes her head and slumps back against the couch, her eyes droopy. I’ve seen her dancing on a table after popping open her second bottle of champagne, but two glasses of whiskey have knocked her out. “If the pieces are guiding you, you should find out why they hate you.”
“I don’t lose,” Mac says. “I always pick the last piece, which means I play the longest of any of you. I’m the last man standing.”
I grin, and without thinking, I look to Deiss, expecting him to share my amusement. It’s a mistake he’s made as well, and for the first time since we were in the kitchen, our eyes meet. I freeze, and his brow furrows.Look away.The command pings in my mind, a well-worn principle for maintaining the upper hand. It’s a sign of weakness to be the one left staring, but I can’t help myself. I’m trapped in the glow of his spotlight.
A clatter startles me out of my haze, and I jerk toward therubble of what used to be the Jenga tower. Phoebe and Simone are laughing, and Mac’s hand is still midair, a stunned look on his face. I fake a laugh and look back to Deiss, but he’s already turned away and is headed toward the kitchen.
“To the last man standing,” Phoebe says, tilting her cup toward Mac.
He beams at her as we all give half-hearted cheers.
“I’m going to bed,” Deiss calls behind him as he disappears into his room. “Simone, there’s a blanket in the closet if you want to stay on the couch.”
I tense, trying to keep my face blank.
“You’re not going to offer to share your bed?” Simone’s words slur together slightly. “It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”
“I’ve never claimed to be a gentleman,” he says.
Simone pouts for a second before stretching her long legs out. “I wasn’t going to stay anyway. Crashing on sofas is for children.”
Relief slips through me like a light breeze, but it dissipates when Deiss comes back out of his room with earbuds dangling from his hand. There’s a look on his face that I don’t like. A smile that’s a little too sweet to be real.
“I assume you have a Disney playlist on your phone?” he asks Simone, squeezing in with her on the couch.
She nods, rightfully looking a little stunned by his thoughtfulness.
Gently, Deiss places the earbuds in her ears, one at a time. “There. Now you can play it as loudly as you want.”
My stomach sinks. I know as well as he does that she can’t resist such a gesture. She’d sleep on his floor now if he asked her to. Any chance of talking to him tonight has just gone out the window, which I’m certain was the point.
“Liv, can you please get me a pillow and blanket?” Simone says, confirming Deiss’s success.
I grab the blanket and a spare pillow off my futon and toss them to her before following Phoebe and Mac to the door, managing not to look at Deiss. I wish I’d never agreed to live here. The problem isn’t Deiss. It’s too much exposure to him.
Even back in college, I was never with him in such undiluted quantities as I have been over the last two weeks. In my experience, most people begin to grate when you’re around them too much. Unfortunately for both of us, that hasn’t been the case with Deiss. I was better off not knowing he gets strangely sweet when he’s tired or that he tends to look after everyone but in such a subtle way they rarely seem to realize it’s happening. Maybe he’s right to use Simone as a buffer between us. Maybe I need to build a buffer of my own.
“Text me when you get home safely,” I say to Phoebe as Mac drags her out the door. Hopefully, the walk home will sober them up. “And if you talk to Seth, tell him I’m in for a double date with Brad.”
“What?” Simone groans from the couch, and I roll my eyes, more to keep them from flicking toward Deiss than in response to Simone. “I wanted to go!”
Phoebe laughs, holding the door open with her foot. “Just last week you were celebrating how many followers you have on Friendsta. Surely some of those fans must be single guys who want to date you.”
Simone lifts up, her face appearing over the back of the couch. “Everyone wants to date me. That’s not the point.”
“What is the point?”
“I want to go on a double date with you and two guys who are members of the same band,” Simone says.
“I’ll work on Harry Styles and Niall Horan for next month,” Phoebe says.
Mac groans, but Simone’s eyes widen at the idea.
“Deal,” she says with a satisfied smile.
—
I lie inthe dark, silently reminding myself of all the reasons it’s a bad idea to attempt to talk to Deiss right now. There are so many, but there’s one obvious reason that should make it the easiest:he doesn’t want me to.I can’t push myself on someone else. I can’t be so needy.
