Page 28 of Coffee Shop Cupid
“I see. Well, there’s a lot of hurt there, and it makes sense to want to protect yourself, even if you feel safe. Do you feel like it’s impacting your relationship?”
“Not yet, but… I worry.”
He set his pen down, a sign that I was about to get some ‘Joey Words of Wisdom’. “The nice thing about relationships is that they build over time. Not everybody knows everything about their partner at first. The more comfortable we feel with somebody, the more walls come down and we reveal new things. Don’t feel guilty about keeping those vulnerable parts of yourself protected. I’m sure there will come a time when you’ll want or need to address them with him, but until then, let things play out at the speed that’s comfortable for you.”
“Ok.”
∞∞∞
~Valentine’s Day~
I checked myself in the mirror and took a deep breath. I looked good in my favorite red sweater.
Unfortunately, looking good wasn’t the problem. Chase and I had been dating for almost a month, but we still hadn’t progressed beyond kissing. He hadn’t said anything, seeming content to just be with me. However a nagging voice within told me that I was disappointing my alpha.
My alpha… the one who’d looked past my flaws and still seemed to want me.
I needed to be a better omega if I was going to have a chance at staying with him. Which meant that it was time to man up and face another of my fears: sex.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually enjoyed sex. At some point it had become a chore; something that had to be done if the fertility treatments were to have a chance at best, and something Vince demanded of me at worst.
It would be different with Chase though. It had to be. He was such a kind and generous alpha.
“I want this,” I said to my reflection. “I want to feel my alpha. I want to connect with him like that.”
I’m sure my reflection would have raised an eyebrow in response if it could.
It was a fear I would have to face eventually, and I didn’t want to wait too long and lose him.
“You can do this,” I said to myself as I finished getting ready. “It’s just sex. You’ve taken more knots than you can count. If anything, it’ll be better this time.”
I checked myself in the mirror one last time, then headed out to the kitchen.
Chase had been wonderful, cooking dinner for me almost every date. At some point—when a bout of paranoia that he didn’t want to be seen with me overwhelmed me—I’d asked why.
He’d merely glanced up from the stove, gave me a soft smile, walked over to kiss me and told me matter-of-factly that he’d noticed I was uncomfortable in public places. He then returned to the stove and casually said that if I preferred we go out all I needed to do was tell him.
My feelings—my comfort—were more important to him than his desires about how we interacted.
I needed to do this… for him.
I checked the oven, where I had some spaghetti squash roasting, then stirred my marinara.
Chase had offered to cook again, or order in something from a restaurant for the holiday. But I’d insisted that it was my turn to treat him.
Satisfied that the hot food was progressing well, I moved on to toss a caesar salad and prep some garlic bread. It was a simple meal, but I needed to show him that I could cook too—that I could be a good omega.
I’d just finished stranding the squash and set the salad on the table when there was a knock at the door. I walked over and opened it to see Chase standing there, holding a bouquet of roses and a heart-shaped box.
“Hi,” he said, leaning in to kiss me softly.
“Hi,” I breathed as his lips left mine. Then I stood aside for him to come in.
“Smells delicious,” he stated.
“It’s just spaghetti squash with marinara,” I replied.
He smiled. “That doesn’t change the fact that it smells wonderful.”
