Page 6 of Double Kisses for the Omega
I was quiet. It did feel like sometimes we paid agencies for nothing.
“Ty, let’s think about getting a surrogate.”
I blinked in the darkness. “What? But I thought that was way out of our price range.”
Nate lifted my chin and kissed me. “Back when we started, it was. But we’ve paid down some of our debt, and are we really getting anywhere with adoption? I don’t want you to have to go through this again.”
I curled against his chest. It hurt more each time. I’d get my hopes up, excited to hold our baby, only to see them snatched away at the last minute.
“The contracts are different,” Nate continued. “We’d get our baby. Who knows, it might make adoption easier in the future too, when they see that other babies would have siblings and live in a happy house.”
Was a surrogate really the answer?
“No more waiting for a phone call,” Nate added. “We’d interview potential carriers. We’d know when they started treatments. We’d be able to work with somebody we trust, rather than have us be the temporary option while they looked for something else.”
It all sounded so straightforward, especially after all the failed adoptions and tens of thousands of dollars spent.
“Could it really be that easy?” I asked, running my hands along his chest.
“I don’t know,” Nate admitted. “But I don’t want to see you like this again. I know what this means to you, and that you’ll want to keep trying. I just think a change of tactic is appropriate.”
I thought of the empty nursery down the hall. We’d had it set up in our old apartment, before a previous adoption had fallen through. And we’d dutifully set it up here when we got word that we’d been picked this time.
I wanted nothing more than to see a baby in there as Nate and I looked on. I wanted to see his brilliant smile, and the light bouncing from his light brown hair as he cradled our infant in his arms.
Every failed adoption hurt, each more than the one before. The image of a happy family faded a bit more in my head when that phone call came.
Would my alpha side be any more satisfied if Nate and I had any control over the process? At least more than we did now?
The loss was still too raw, but we’d been through it so many times that I was almost numb as well. In a few days… a week… maybe a couple months, I’d go to Nate and tell him that it was time to actively search again. Because giving up wasn’t an option.
I nodded into his chest. “Ok.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, running his hand up and down my back. “You normally need more time.”
“I do need time,” I admitted. “But I know we’ll be looking again soon anyway. Might as well get the process started.”
“Ok,” he replied, kissing my hair. “I’ll start looking into things while you grieve. Then, once you’re ready, we can move forward.”
“Thank you,” I sniffled.
“Anything for you Ty.”
As wonderful as he was, how could anybody not see that Nate was going to be a fantastic father?
“Don’t worry Ty,” Nate murmured. “One day you’ll have your half-dozen kids running around the house calling you ‘daddy.’ We’ll make it happen.”
I somehow managed a small smile. If Nate said it would happen, then I trusted him that it would.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too.”
Nate would make things better. He always did. I just had to trust him.
Chapter 4 - Rick
Maybe I should repaint the walls. The steel blue felt faded. A sage green would liven up my living room.
