Page 31 of Thomas
Another book was stuck along the side. Thomas wedged it out, flipped it over and read the title. “Oh.” His eyes widened. “How aboutThe Art of the Kama Sutra?” Thomas looked up, and noticeably, Cameron avoided his gaze.
“Absolutely not.”
Curious, Thomas asked simply, “Why not?”
Cameron looked at him, a teasing tone registering in his voice. “Thomas the Ever Inquisitive.”
“Forgive me,” Thomas said, placing his hand over his heart. “I don’t mean to overstep boundaries. I’m just surprised that you, being such a well- and diversely read man, would immediately dismiss a legendary text. I’ve heard—and I may be wrong, of course, as I too have not read it—thatKama Sutrais not exclusively nor predominantly a manual on sex. This is a common misconception, as it is rather a guide to the art of living well… be it in regard to love, acquiring a partner or maintaining a healthy sex life. Allegedly, the text reads like poetry.”
“Perhaps you should read it, then?” Cameron suggested. “Since you have such a strong interest and foundational knowledge.”
“Perhaps…” Thomas openly watched him standing there, radiating with something warm and palpable that made his fangs ache. The more time he’d spent with Cameron, the more he was certain that he was feeding from the lord’s personal blood bags.
Thomas was growing to hate feeding from inanimate objects. Before his imprisonment, he’d never once fed from a bag, cup or glass. He’d never needed to. Afterward, it was all he ever had access to, and something about it agitated him. A constant reminder of what he’d been through and that his life was different now.Hewas different now.
Still absently watching Cameron, Thomas took a deep breath. The air was honeyed and enticing, and it made his mouth water.
Would Cameron… possibly allow Thomas to feed from him someday? Was this selfish desire totally improbable? Thomas knew that he should simply buck up and get over himself—embrace his new life of fancy glass goblets and room-temperature blood. He hadn’t physically fed from another vampire since Dawn, and… Thomas wasn’t ready to emotionally wrestle with the truth that he felt physically drawn to a new vampire so soon after her. If not for the imprisonment, they would be in London together, happily, right at this moment.
What did it say about him? That he discreetly desired this man and deigned to think of him this way when he didn’t even know where Dawn was, and if she was alive and well.
Vexed, Thomas lifted a hand and rubbed his fingers through the soft heft of his dark hair. Feeding in its nature was an intimate and emotional act that required mutual trust. He’d trusted Dawn, and inexplicably, he knew that he trustedCameron as well. But Cameron had never given anyone consent to feed from his body—nor had he ever been interested in doing so. If he was strictly averse to these things, why was Thomas even considering any of this? How could he ever dare to request it from Cameron?
“May I ask a candid question?” Thomas ventured, despite himself. “You once remarked that you preferred candid and plain-spoken conversation. I might be testing you now.”
Cameron closed the book he’d been scanning, set it on the shelf and turned his body to face Thomas. He leaned with his shoulder into the case and folded his arms. Defensive position. “Go on.”
“Are you averse to physical intimacy?” Thomas asked. “Repulsed?”
“Not repulsed. I’m simply… uninterested? It isn’t a priority for me. There are about fifty things I’d rather be doing, if that helps to give you context.”
Thomas nodded and took that in. Fifty wasn’t an astronomical number. A thousand by comparison would be much worse, he supposed. For himself, the number wasn’t nearly as high. Maybe there were three things he’d rather be doing. If that. “When you had intimate experiences in the past, did you enjoy yourself?”
Cameron shrugged. “Not especially. I found sex to be quick and messy. Not worth the time, effort and harried exposure.”
“Ah, I see…” Physical intimacy didn’t immediately equate to sex in Thomas’s mind. It was interesting that it did within Cameron’s. “What about casual romantic intimacy? Holding hands or a hug. A kiss, for instance?”
Cameron paused and shifted his stance. “I… I’m not sure. I haven’t given it much thought. I don’t know if I’ve ever held anyone’s hand besides Rachelle’s, and that was when she was a child, frankly.”
Thomas wondered at Cameron’s previous romantic experiences—how old he was when he’d first had them and under what circumstances. It had taken Thomas some time and exploration to gain a firm sense of his personal preferences. If he exclusively based his opinions on his very first physical and romantic encounters (when he was young, eager and ignorant), he wouldn’t be interested in sex and carnal intimacy either.
He was going to let the topic drop, figuring he’d subliminally received the answer to his feeding question (likely not happening). So, he was surprised when Cameron spoke up once more.
“And you?” he asked. “How do you… What are your thoughts on romantic intimacy?”
Thomas blinked. “Ah, I am quite affectionate and I enjoy romantic intimacy—but only under specific circumstances.”
“Alright,” Cameron said, straightening from the shelf. “Well? Do tell.”
“It took me some time to figure out that I’m, um… You may not be familiar with the term, but I’m demisexual.”
Cameron raised an eyebrow. “Is that a human label?”
Thomas smiled. “Yes, it is. I found it handy when I came across the term, because it helped to validate my feelings. I need emotional intimacy with my partner before I can enjoy sex and other romantic acts. In human terms, I’m demisexual and bisexual.”
“I know that one,” Cameron said. “Aren’t all vampires technically bisexual?”
Thomas waved his hand. “More or less—categorically ‘queer.’ I used to have a female friend who strongly preferred other women. But I like the sound of it, honestly.Bisexual.This might be oversharing, but I had an acquaintance in my younger days—just as I had started university. The man wasravenous, my God. Constantly pawing at me and trying to get me into his bed.I finally let him have me and the experience was subpar, to say the least.”
