Page 78 of Thomas
“Yes, I told him, but no, he was not remorseful.”
Cameron blinked. “That maggot-riddled swine. What the hell was his excuse?”
Thomas stifled the sparkle of amusement he always gleaned from both Cameron’s and Lennon’s colorful expletives. “He protested his innocence—he only had my best interests at heart, and he hadn’t known that my whereabouts were supposed to be clandestine. I… I fear that perhaps he has a point? I did not tell him to keep my location a secret. I never fathomed that it would matter, and I’d wanted to tell him as little about the situation as possible.”
“Even still,” Cameron began, folding his arms across his chest, “once you disclosed the direct effect of his actions, any man with a modicum of integrity and morality—hell,empathy—would feel remorse for the part they’d played. He had an undeniable hand in what led to your great suffering—whether or not it was intentional is irrelevant. Even if I didn’t mean to push the baby pram off a cliff, I still pushed the pram off a cliff and should be sorry for it.”
Thomas failed in stifling his chuckle. His shoulders shook. “Have you been pushing children off cliff-sides, Cameron?”
“Not recently,” he admitted, smiling. “I’ve mastered that particular addiction.” They both chuckled. Cameron shook his head. “Macabre.”
Thomas inhaled deeply, then blew it out. “Thank you for saying it that way. For explaining it in simple terms, I mean. Wyatt confused me with his adamant proclamations of blamelessness. He also… He told me that I didn’tappearto be too distressed by the whole ordeal, so obviously, everything is fine now and I was overreacting.”
Cameron’s expression was stone serious. “Forgive me for saying so, but your former lover is a most shameless and insensitive prick.”
“Ugh.” Thomas held up a palm. “Please don’t remind me!”
“I am sorry. But how daffy can a vampire be? Should the scars from traumas be visible on the outside at all times? What does he think? That you should still be wearing the same clothes that you were imprisoned in—would it count then? Should you still be emaciated and not eating nor feeding? Would that be validating enough? He’s an ignorant toad. Fuck him.”
Thomas nodded. “Fuck him, indeed. Lately, I have moments where I feelgoodagain. There are long stretches where I feel myself curiously touching the edges of this new existence and examining the shape of it. I experience laughter and joy, hope, wonder and desire. Iwantthose things, and I welcome them when they arise. But it’s as if—I don’t know. For an odd moment,he made me feel guilty that I’m not still wallowing in my misery. That if I’m not in that place, the pain of it is less valid.”
Cameron stared down at the idle tea service and sighed heavily through his nose. Thomas thought he might say something more, but he stayed silent for several beats. Thomas was about to thank him for listening, and for talking this through with him, when Cameron finally spoke once more.
“Your feelings are all that matter, Thomas. Not his or what anyone else thinks youshouldbe feeling or doing. You are your own vampire, and you should heal and recover in your own way.” His gaze rose up from the tea set and he offered a sweet smile. “And, of course, I’m pleased to support you in any way. I’m glad that being here has offered some comfort for you.”
Thomas’s heart swelled in his chest as he breathed Cameron’s luscious scent. “Not just being here.Youcomfort me, Cameron. You allowed me to feed from you when I could no longer tolerate the bags and the painful association I have with them.Youmake certain that I want for nothing, andyoumake me think less about murdering my father and more about the good things life has to offer.”
Cameron lifted his hand to the back of his neck and glanced away. “I didn’t mean to distract you from orchestrating your vengeance, though. I was looking forward to my role in that—even if it only involved handing someone a briefcase full of money.”
“This world can be dark, cruel and unrelenting. But every day, you remind me that there is also kindness, selflessness and unconditional love. The two extremes co-exist simultaneously, and I am grateful to you for pulling me into your warmth.”
Cameron’s eyes alighted bright emerald. He folded his lips, fixing his face to say something silly, and Thomas cut him off.
“Do not deflect or make a joke. I’m being serious.”
“Iknowyou are. I wasn’t going to—Well, I was…” He dropped his hand into his lap, then glanced over at Thomas. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Or, you can simply accept my gratitude and say ‘you’re welcome.’”
“You’re welcome,” Cameron parroted, grinning. He closed his eyes, and it was clear that he was attempting to will his irises back to normal. Thomas let him focus for a moment, then stretched his arms up.
“I’m exhausted,” he declared, rolling his shoulders. “After dinner, I’ll require a hot bath, and then I’ll promptly sleep like the dead.”
Cameron’s eyes opened, and they were back to normal. “Do you want to sleep with me?”
Every nerve in Thomas’s body lurched, then came to a halt. “What?”
“You can sleep in my room, if you wish? You requested sleepovers, so… you can come if you’d like.”
One day, Thomas was going to have a long talk with Cameron about his word choices. But not today. Not now. “Yes, I would love to sleep in your room tonight. Please and thank you.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
As Cameron dried off from his shower, he sensed Thomas’s presence entering his rooms. This business ofsensinghim was the strangest experience of his life. To be so acutely aware of another vampire’s scent and essence—to know when they were drawing nearer and to have an absurdly heightened alertness of their physical body felt almost… ill-mannered. Obtrusive and vulgar.
He’d gone his entire life blind to the scent of any other vampire, and now it felt as if he were savagely intruding on Thomas’s space and body. Tracking him like a hunter sniffing out its most illustrious prey. The attraction of his presence was strong andwildlyenticing.
The sensation was like having a luscious and heady bouquet of almond blossoms that Cameron not only wanted to stick his face into and inhale deeply but also lick, bite and consume. His body and nature wanted todothings that… should definitely not be done to a bouquet of flowers.
