Page 19 of Thomas
“No, I?—”
“Good.”
A pause. Rachelle scowled, then went on. “Clearly, I’ve pushed you to your limit for today. I don’t want you running off, hiding in your office for the rest of the evening and taking it out on poor Thomas because of me. He doesn’t need to see that side of you this early on.”
Thomas made a small noise and folded his lips inward, clearly stifling his amusement. Cameron sighed.
Rachelle looked between them, grinning. “Nooo… you’ve already done it, haven’t you? It’s only been one week! Gracious me, Cam, you are utterly hopeless.”
Chapter Seven
They both walked Rachelle to the front door and gave their farewells. The moment felt bizarrely “coupley” to Cameron, but he’d need to get used to that happening at least some of the time, he supposed… or not. Or perhaps he should face the thing he was silently avoiding. That he should probably unravel this shameful mess he’d created and call the whole thing off.
But dear gods, where would that put him? How would he explain that to everyone—to Rachelle, his parents and Lennon. The house staff… the Upper Avalon aristocracy. Cameron had finally acquired a mate. He had chosen someone, but suddenly, he’d have to backpedal and figure this out all over again?
The thought was unbearable. Rachelle had used the word “selfish” as if it were a positive attribute of one’s character. In Cameron’s estimation, it certainly was not. He was being plenty selfish and a coward lately. Rachelle didn’t need to encourage him.
With his sister gone, Cameron stuffed all his tumultuous thoughts away and turned to Thomas as they stood in the foyer. “Would you like to have lunch together?”
“Sure,” Thomas said.
The corridors were quiet as they made their way to the small banquet hall. Peaceful, just the way Cameron liked it. Lennon greeted them inside the door. Lunch had already been plated and set out for them.
“You survived,” Lennon snarked as they passed. “Well done.”
Cameron rolled his eyes and went to sit at the table in his normal spot. Thomas sat across from him.
They ate in silence. Or, at least, Cameron ate. Thomas had taken a spoonful of the hearty vegetable soup, but then began his habit of shuffling the food around in its bowl. His usual feeble charade at eating. It wasn’t any of Cameron’s business, really, and he didn’t want to be intrusive. But he found himself asking, “Is the food not to your liking?”
Thomas looked up with mild surprise laden in his straight features. “No, it’s alright. It’s very good.”
“If there’s something you prefer,” Cameron went on, “you can talk to Sulee and I’m sure she’d be happy to make it for you. You don’t need to be hesitant or shy.”
Thomas chuckled mirthlessly. “Oh, I’m not shy. I simply… don’t have an appetite for food. I haven’t since… Well, rest assured that it bears no reflection on your chef and the quality of her meals. It’s me that’s the problem.”
Stirring his own soup, Cameron pondered that. “If it’s anything that we can help with, please let us know. We…Iwant you to feel comfortable here.” Was it absurd of Cameron to want Thomas to be pleased within his forced environment? Likely. Absolutely. But Cameron found that he did genuinely care about the man’s contentment.
Now that he was firmly planted in it, he didn’t want to unravel this situation.
Cameron wanted Thomas to stay.
Thomas stared down into his soup as he spoke. The words came out quietly, but sure. “Your kindness is a comfort to me,Cameron, and I do appreciate it. It’s just that… eating food requires a certain zeal for life. And I think… maybe I’ve lost that, somewhere along the way.”
Thomas lifted his chin to meet Cameron’s gaze. The earnest expression on his face in combination with the raw truth of his words made Cameron’s heart ache. “But I haven’t given up on myself,” Thomas went on, offering that weak, friendly smile. “I might find it again, someday.”
What has happened to you?What had transpired between the winter solstice party at the Havenwrath estate all those years ago and now? What event or action had so drastically altered his character?
Rachelle had been annoying in making her point, and Cameron would never admit it aloud to her, but she was right. Cameron did remember the night he met Thomas. It played brilliantly in his mind like a movie he’d watched only yesterday. Something about it felt imprinted on his psyche. He didn’t understand it at all, and no other party or social gathering he’d been forced to attend held anywhere near the same weight.
That velvety green room emblazoned with firelight and Thomas’s former self, full of not only zeal but playful intelligence. Confidence and curiosity. His chic suit well tailored to his long, elegant frame and the way he’d thrown his head back and openly laughed.
Thomas had smiled, and the simple gesture had brightened his whole demeanor. No, it had turned the entire operation of him on its head. Not just a frigid and bookish greyhound, but something more. Something frisky and enigmatic.
Yes, he’d remembered Thomas. Turns out, he was doing all the remembering, all by himself.
“I don’t mean to cause concern for you or your staff,” Thomas went on as Cameron sat lost in his internal musings. “If it’s anyconsolation, I am trying. I force down what I can manage, which, admittedly, isn’t much, but?—”
“It’s alright, Thomas,” Cameron said, lifting a palm. “You don’t need… I’m glad to hear you haven’t given up on yourself. That speaks volumes, I think.”
