Page 67 of Vampires of Eden
Holding the mug with my palms, I revel in the warmth floating into my hands and up my arms. “It’s not asking too much if I offer it. I have the resources, so let me use them the way I want? I’m happy to do these things—they’re investments into causes that I find valuable.”
Leoni bites into a crisp apple slice and I suddenly have fruit envy. Standing, I go to the refrigerator and grab the leftover bowl of strawberries.
“Are you going to Kat and Roland’s this week, or should you stay home and recover?” she asks before taking another bite.
“I would like to go. Alexander and I… we’re going to sand and stain the kitchen chairs and table. That shouldn’t be too arduous of a task.” Sitting back down, I pick up a strawberry and bite into the soft flesh. Enjoying its ripe sweetness and texture.
For a long time, my nature has been like a cold, dead fish sitting in my gut. After the intense pain of the withdrawal and rejection from Josefina, all I felt was bitterness and regret. On better days, I felt nothing. Negative nothing.
Talking to and being around Alexander doesn’t feel like nothing. Unquestionably, it feels likesomething, and that continual revelation frightens me. I feel split in two halves. Rationally, I do not want whatever this is. But instinctively and emotionally, my nature keeps leaning into it. Into him, as if I haven’t been burned and ravaged by this exact kind of situation.
Feelingsomethingfor a purebred vampire.
What’s worse, our mutual auras don’t feel polarized. When Ilet my guard down, I can sense some invisible force moving and flowing between us, quietly buzzing like a static haze. Sweet and prickly.
Am I losing my mind? Could he… Is it possible that Alexander feels this, too?
Whatever this is?
Leoni brings her tea cup toward her mouth in a weak attempt to hide her smile. “It was thoughtful of Alexander to come visit you yesterday with groceries.”
Exhaling a sigh, I nod. “It was.”
“Did you enjoy hanging out with him?”
“I did.”
“Mm.” Leoni scrunches her nose in an obvious gesture and takes a sip of her tea.
“Don’t do that.”
She chuckles, exclaiming. “Dowhat?”
“You know exactly what you’re doing. Just stop it.”
“I overheard you two while I was in the kitchen washing and prepping the strawberries. You’re both so cute?—”
“Leoni.”
“What’s wrong with being his friend, Danny? Why can’t you admit that much, at least? That you like him as a friend.”
My heart swells and fills my throat. “Because I—because…” I lift a palm to my face, bewildered. All the peace that I achieved earlier from meditation and yoga are gone. “This is insane! How can I like him in any capacity after what I’ve been through? Why should I willingly submit to this? History has taught me that this willnotend well.”
“History has nothing to do with what’s happening right now,” Leoni argues. “From my perspective, this circumstance is totally different?—”
“Is it?” I ask, my voice going shrill. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, then speak more calmly. “I like to believe that I’ve healed emotionally from what Josefina did to me. That I’ve become wiser since then and learned from the poor choices that Imade. But ‘liking’ Alexander—a royal Eden purebred that’s farbeyond my reach?—”
“I hear you Danny, but again, Alexander is nothing like my sister,” Leoni says, almost pleading. “He’s not beyond your reach. He drove two hours to see you at our cottage because you weren’t feeling well. When you were falling ill and losing your strength before, did Josefina lift a pinky finger to help you? Did she care?”
My shoulders drop in dejection. “She didn’t.” Josefina watched my slow decline, which she was largely responsible for, and shamed me for it. She was repulsed by it.
“And Alexander comes to Kat and Roland’s twice a week to spend time?—”
“That’s another thing—his parents don’t know anything about this,” I counter, feeling more and more anxious. “Aside from you,no onein his life would approve of his spending this much time with me. Liking him is… preposterous. Pointless.”
This entire conversation is moot. Add to it, Alexander thinks I’m an asshole. He feels nothing for me, friend or otherwise, because he’s too busy mooning over Oliver.
Depleted, I shake my head. “I don’t know if this decision to beniceto him is helpful for me anymore. It might be a mistake.”
