Page 118 of Vampires of Eden
“I’m ‘Daniel’ now. Right. It’s upsetting that you’re acting like everything is fine when it clearly isn’t. May I come in, please?”
After I pull the door open wider, he steps inside and moves to sit on the trunk at the end of the bed.
I don’t want to fight with him. Not like before when we were biting, catty and at each other’s throats. I can’t do that anymore, because he means too much to me now.
I think he’s always been an important vampire in my life. Even when he wasn’t physically in front of me, memories of him occupied my mind. Encouraging and motivating me. Giving me ambition and hope. Sometimes, even strength.
“I apologize for screaming at you in the vineyard,” Daniel says by way of an intro. He smooths a palm over the top of his head. “You always think I’m so mature, but I feel a little like a child that’s come down from a tantrum.”
Still standing near the door, I clutch the handle in my grip. “You have a right to feel the way you do. It’s understandable.”
“Alexanderplease—don’t placate me. Don’t blandly smooth this over because you think that’s what’s comfortable. Or because it’s the politically correct thing to do. What’s happening in your head?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m still processing, to be honest.”
“Will you process with me? Can we do it together?” His eyes are imploring and it makes something inside of my chest melt. I nod, then push the door shut and walk over to the desk in the corner.
The room is quiet as I sit and fold my arms. My assumption is that Daniel will say more, but he simply looks at me with that soft, patient expression. Waiting.
I take a deep breath and unfold my arms, then slide my palms atop my thighs. “I…” Helplessly, my thoughts circle back to his passionate kiss in the warm sunlight. My neck and face flush as I lift a hand to scratch my head. “Well, first, thank you for kissing me back. No one has ever kissed me like that in my life.”
The corner of his mouth quirks up in a grin. “You don’t need to thank me, but you’re welcome.”
“Mostly, I think… it’s important that I listen to you and understand. Because that’s where I went wrong with Oliver. I didn’t pay attention to what was hurting him and I don’t want to make that mistake again.”
Daniel opens his mouth and instinctively, I put my hand up. “I know you’re not Oliver, please don’t say it?”
He closes his mouth and takes a visible breath. Then nods.
I go on. “As much as I enjoyed that kiss, I don’t think we should do it again.”
His eyebrow lifts. “Why shouldn’t we?”
“Because there’s no end game for us, Danny. A major part of my life and responsibilities are in Central. I understand why you don’t want to go, but Ihaveto be there. Sitting on the board is important to me. Not just because of ‘legacy,’ but because I believe in Eden and that we can change.”
“I agree wholeheartedly,” he says. “You should not give up your seat. But you also shouldn’t marry Lord Cherrington to keep it.”
“I know,” I say, sighing. “I won’t. I have to figure that out, and I will—but that goes back to my original point. When I submit and allow my nature to flourish, I want to be certain that the vampire I love wants me, too. I respect that you don’t want to be involved with my life in Central—my parents and peers. But I… I cannot casually play with you. I won’t do that.”
My hands tremble as I lift and run them through the top of my hair. This conversation is difficult and awkward as hell.
In my heart and the depth of my nature, I already know that I love Daniel. If I stop suppressing my nature and willingly yield to what I feel, it’ll be like throwing myself off of a cliff. The fall will be devastating. Much harder and deeper than anything I ever felt for Oliver.
This truth scares me to death.
If I open myself up to him and he eventually rejects me because of my responsibilities and station—or because of his past hurts and mistrust of purebreds—I’ll be crushed forever. I will never recover from the heartbreak.
Daniel folds his hands in the gap of his thighs. “So, it’s all or nothing? Either I give up everything in my life here and come with you to Central to play by Eden’s aristocratic rules, or you don’t want anything to do with me?”
I shake my head. “No, this isn’t an ultimatum?—”
“It sure as hell sounds like one.”
“It isn’t,” I say firmly. “I just think it’s better for both of us to not indulge in…” Inelegantly, I wave a hand between us. “This. I’d like for us to stay friends.”
“Is that what we are? Do your eyes alight over and over again for yourfriends, Alexander?”
Breathing, I rub the back of my neck because the flash of heat there is unbearable. “No. Obviously never. But I think this is the best and safest option for us?”
