Page 77 of Vampires of Eden: Oliver
“You haven’t,” I tell him, standing my ground. “You told me before that you’ve slept with other vampires—that ‘everyone cheats’ and that’s how we work the system. You made fun of me for not having any experience.” I take a breath and my chest heaves as I lift my hands, gesturing toward him. “All this, you reacting this way, is because I’m not your innocent and obedient little poodle that’s been kept under glass especially for you anymore. You being upset about this is unfair. Hypocritical.”
He scowls. “It’s not. You’re wrong.”
I huff, amazed by his inability to see the logic in this circumstance. “Of course I’m wrong. Because I’m always the one who’s naïve and stupid, right? I’m a nerd and a cold fish—”
“No.” Alexander turns, snatches the photo from the bed and stalks toward me. He thrusts the image at my face. His movement is so forceful that I flinch and step back, alarmed.
“You’re wrong,” he repeats, holding the picture of Aries and me kissing directly in front of my nose. “This is different because youlovehim, Oliver. You are in love with him. I slept with other vampires, but I didn’t love them. What I did was just… It was meaningless experimentation. Practice, if I’m being honest. I’ve only ever loved you.Thatis why I’m hurt. That is why I’m upset.”
Alexander stares at me with glassy brown eyes. Truly wounded. I never pay much attention to his aura, but I do now. His frustration and sadness are palpable. I don’t know what to say.
He drops his arm and shakes his head. “There’s no space for me now. I know that I get on your nerves. I realize that I’ve been immature, but I… I had hope that, given some time, maybe you could grow to like me—maybe even love me someday. When I’ve finally pulled you away from your father and you have more space to breathe. But it’s done now, isn’t it? There’s no chance for me.”
He lifts the picture in his fingertips and stares at it. “You’llneverbe like this with me. You won’t ever be this… comfortable or happy. And I’ll always be comparing whatever you do to this godforsaken picture. This stupid polaroid where you look so fucking blissful. I’ve never seen you look like this, buthehas. He’s probably seen everything of you that I’ve been dreaming about for the past ten years and it’s bullshit!”
Alexander walks to the side of the bed, but he drops down onto the floor, letting go of the photo as he draws his knees up. He plunges his fingers into his blonde hair, massaging and making the usually perfect swoop of it wild.
The silence in the room is heavy after our shouting match. I walk over to the ottoman at the end of my bed and sit down, processing my mixed feelings about this situation.
How easy is it for him to play the victim? Am I supposed to feel guilty for falling in love? For meeting someone kind who treats me with dignity and respect? Someone suave and handsome who tells me that my thoughts are valid, and who genuinely considers my wants and desires. Am I supposed to feel bad about that?
Because I don’t.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” Alexander says, breaking the silence. He looks over at me. “Aren’t you going to saysomething?”
I consider for a moment. “Are you going to tell Lord Blakeley?”
He scoffs, upturning his nose as if I’ve just offered him something truly offensive. “No, I’m not going to tell ‘Lord Blakeley,’ you twat. Is that what you want? For him to have yet another reason to humiliate you in front of me and anyone else within earshot?”
“No,” I admit, folding my arms. “That’s not what I want.”
“Your father is a jackass. I’ve always thought that my dad was a silly dinosaur, but holy hell. Your father is flat out cruel. He barely respects you as a purebred. He treats you like… I don’t know—”
“His puppet?” I offer. “A glorified prisoner to do his bidding?”
“Yeah. It’s wild. I know that we have responsibilities and all, but fuck him belittling youall the time.”
“You belittle me, too.” I cast my eyes to the side, watching his reaction and waiting for him to deny it. To blame me for his behavior.
“I’m sorry,” he says, meeting my gaze. “I mean it. I apologize. Really, I hadn’t noticed until… Seeing the way he talks to you at these events, and then you perking up anytime that goddamn designer is in the room, it made me realize… I really got it wrong with you, didn’t I? I thought I was being funny and casual, but I was just… I was mimicking his behavior.”
Deflated, I shrug. “That’s how it is in Eden. It’s how we treat each other. Thoughtlessly. Callously.”
“But you’re not part of that, Oliver?” he asks. “You think that you’re perfectly innocent?”
I open my mouth to respond, but immediately close it. Am I callous? Until this moment, I never thought so. Hearing the hurt in his voice a few seconds ago and the way it surprised me, I felt a twinge of remorse. I’m not sorry for anything that I’ve done with Aries, but I don’t want to fight cruelty with cruelty.
Alexander leans his head back against the bed, sighing and closing his eyes. “I’m not an unkind vampire. Just… maybe a bit stupid, apparently.”
Despite myself, I chuckle through my nose. I don’t say anything because I can’t argue with that.
“Do you love him?” Alexander opens his eyes and turns his head against the mattress, watching me. Serious.
The conversation is softer now. Calmer. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Why does anyone love anyone? Reasons. Feelings.”
