Page 85 of Vampires of Eden: Oliver
“I’m sorry—Shit—I’m so sorry, I just… I don’t… God. Fuck.” He’s on all fours and staring at me with bright eyes. But he sits back, rubbing his palms down his face. “Fuck.”
“You’re an idiot, do you know that? A selfish and egotistical idiot. We’ve never even talked about you pulling my aura before. Why the hell would you try? What’s the matter with you?”
My body quivers violently as I shout at him, so I slink my arms around my knees again, trying to hold and put myself back together. “If you had bothered to ask, I would have told younoand saved us both from this horrible experience.”
Alexander is silent, his palms rubbing into and destroying his perfectly styled hair. His eyes are closed and he has a trickle of my blood on his lip. He takes a deep breath and blows it out. “I wasn’t… It wasn’t my intention to do that. I just… lost myself. I got carried away and I’m sorry. I apologize.” He drops his hands, opens his eyes, and slowly, they burn out.
My eyes are still burning. Angry. “I don’t forgive you. It doesn’t matter how much you ‘want’ me, you can’t just do things without asking! I don’t haveanything, Alexander. No phone, no more cameras or equipment—even these stupid clothes are chosen for me.Nothingis mine, except for my aura and nature, and you tried to release it without my consent? You can’t even let me have that?”
I’m surprised when hot tears gather in my eyes. I blink and they pour out. Another moment that feels like it’s against my will because I don’t want to cry in front of him. Shaking my head, I bring my palms up and swiftly wipe my face. “I fucking hate this.”
The hallway is silent. I want to leave, but I barely have the energy and control to stand. After being pulled at so forcefully, my nature is tightly curled into itself, like an armadillo that senses danger and shifts into a hardened ball.
Slowly, my body stops trembling and my eyes return to normal. I breathe deeply, in and out, trying to regain a sense of calm. Alexander sits across the hallway, not saying a word. I couldn’t care less about him in this moment.
When I’m more composed, I set my palms against the floor on either side of my hips, thinking I might try to stand. I still feel gross and upset, but I don’t want to keep sitting here with him staring at me.
“All this week, I’ve been thinking about you,” Alexander begins. His voice is quieter now. Hesitant. “Well, I… I think about you all the time, Ollie. For years, since we were kids, you’ve occupied so much space in my mind. But this week, I was thinking—I was hoping that maybe this situation with you and Aries could be a turning point for us? A wake-up call for me, a good experience for you… that maybe he came into your life so thatwecould have a better life together and really start to see each other. To make this arrangement work…”
Alexander had been staring down at the floor, but he looks up, meeting my eyes. “I’ve ruined that chance, haven’t I? Officially. It’s over.”
“Even without this, you still don’t understand. What I want—it’s not about Aries. It’s not about being with him or you. He showed me how badly I want to be free to live my own life and understand myself. For you this is some weird love triangle or couples therapy exercise. For me, this is about having the right to make my own choices. If I’m here with you, I’m stuck inside this choice-less bubble. Period.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way, Oliver,” he says, pleading. “You could be with me and take pictures—have all the equipment you want and pursue your goals. We could even travel if you wanted.Whateveryou wanted, I would do, I would give you…” He pauses, his cheeks flush as he shakes his head. “Up until a few minutes ago, we had fun this week. We could be good together, in time.”
“Why do you have to own me? When you fed from me just now, everything flowing from you screamed ‘mine.’ Like possession. Why couldn’t we be friends and do those things sometimes? Why do I have to be legally and biologically chained to you?”
Alexander huffs, smiling weakly. With his unkept hair and the dried blood on his lip, he looks like a maniac. “Well, like you said, because I’m selfish. Because I love you and I want you near me. I want to be the one that makes you happy.”
“You want me to be your pet poodle. You’ll let me take pictures and play. You’ll make sure I have a really sweet life, so long as you can keep a tight hold on my leash. I don’t want that. Fuck that.”
“That’s not how it is, Ollie. God…” He breathes, rubbing his palms down his face again, as if he’s at a loss for words.
“And anyway, I’m obviously not a very good poodle. I’ll just keep pissing on the carpet and not doing what you want me to do.”
“Stop calling yourself a poodle. I hate it. It’s not funny.”
I smirk. “Well, we finally agree on something.”
Alexander meets my gaze for a moment, then looks away, down the empty hallway. “We agree on other things.”
“Like what?”
“Like your freedom.” Slowly, he pushes himself up from the floor, then comes to stand over me. His palms are outstretched. “I’ll help you, Oliver. Let’s talk to your father together. And… I’m genuinely sorry that I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention, and clearly, I make for a pretty horrible lover and have a lot to learn. Would youpleaseforgive me?”
I hesitate for a moment, then put my palms in his. It doesn’t ever feel like Alexander is deliberately trying to hurt me. Maybe Aries was right in observing that he’s immature, but I don’t know. This could also be his character? Either way, I’m not willing to gamble with him and find out.
Someone else can have that honor.
He pulls me to my feet and I dust my pants off. “Yeah, alright. But don’t ever expect to feed from anywhere but the tip of my pinky finger for as long as we’re in this mess. At arm’s length.”
To my surprise, he nods. “That’s fair… Maybe we can do bags? I could have it arranged?”
“That would be fine with me. I like that idea.”
“Alright.” Alexander sighs. “By the way, when did you get so strong? What was that?”
“What was what?”
