Page 34 of Vampires of Eden: Oliver
The miasma is still there, waiting to jump in and tell me that I’m an idiot. That I’m undeserving and preposterous for even desiring Aries this way and somehow instigating this situation.
But I focus on his dark eyes staring back at me and the intensity there. The honesty. I keep the shame at bay because I want to understand. There’s no time for it right now. Listening is more important. “What do you mean? Why would you suffer?”
Softly, Aries slips his palms into mine and clasps our hands. “You have no idea, do you? The impact that you can potentially have on me as a purebred…” He chuckles, as if he’s beside himself. “Of course you don’t. Why would you?”
“I don’t understand,” I say truthfully. This situation is uncomfortable. I’m anxious and something inside of me wants to run away from this moment and hide, but I won’t. “Will you please explain what you mean?”
His expression relaxes as he examines me for several more beats—quietly contemplating in his familiar way. “Come here,” he says. With one hand still clasped in mine, he pulls me from the stage and toward the bench just beside the dressing stand. When we’re seated and holding hands, he shifts his body in my direction.
“As a purebred, you know that the allure of your aura is exceptionally powerful, yes? That your very being is steeped in the ancient and supernatural roots of our ancestors.”
“Yes, I know,” I confirm, focused on his words but also marveling at the warmth radiating between our clasped palms. The wonderful, electrified feeling racing up my arm.
“Your desire… that mesmerizing power within you swells outward and calls to me—especially as a first-generation vampire. If I consent to your wishes, my purebred roots will cling to you. If I’m not careful, my biology might be forever altered by our encounter. I could develop an addictive need for your profound essence—to feel and be in the presence of it. Or worse, an insatiable thirst for your blood.”
I listen, and it seems strange that I wouldn’t already know this about myself. How the strength of my purebred lifeblood could alter another vampire’s biology. That I could be addictive in nature. “I didn’t know about this,” I say. “But I would never use my power to manipulate or harm you.”
Aries squeezes my palm. “I know that you wouldn’t. I can feel it in the sweet warmth of your essence and when you kissed me. But the shift within my biology could happen naturally from being overexposed to you, romantically and intimately. I don’t know where the line is, so it’s a gamble for me. Especially since…” He pauses and lifts his free hand to run it through the back of his thick waves.
“Since what?” I prompt. Over and over, Aries grapples with these moments of internal conflict and I see them outwardly. Given the situation, he doesn’t know how much he can trust me, or to what extent he should reveal himself and his inner thoughts.
I want to reassure him. “I won’t repeat anything that’s said between us, Aries. Please tell me?”
He drops his hand into his lap. “Thank you, but, surprisingly, that isn’t my primary concern… I have never been romantically entangled with a purebred before. Nor have I been exposed to a purebred’s raw essence—let alone tasted their blood.”
Blinking, I sit straighter because I’m shocked by his confession. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“But… how can that be?” Aries is a liberated vampire. Suave and well traveled. It’s unfathomable to me that I would be his first anything.
“Because it simply is,” he says. “My chosen mate before I came of age was also first-generation. Once I was released from that commitment, I exclusively engaged with my own kind because, well… purebreds are intoxicating to ranked vampires, but also dangerous.
“In my present state, I can feed from another first-gen vampire—second-gen or even third. Traveling as much as I do and without a dedicated mate or feeding source, having this breadth of options is essential to my health and autonomy.
“But if I’m romantically exposed to and hooked on a purebred’s essence, my palate will change. My body will crave that powerful essence and nothing else will satisfy me. Have I explained myself clearly?”
I nod. Both ends of the feeding spectrum are dangerous for him. Purebreds are so potent that we’re addictive. But human blood would undoubtedly make him sick, fragile and unable to day-walk. No ranked vampire can drink human blood and retain their health and vitality. I do know that much. Everyone does.
“You have,” I confirm. “And… purebreds don’t easily offer their blood, do they? In Eden, we have to sign business and marriage contracts before we exchange blood.”
Aries chuckles. “Yes, you Eden vampires are, as usual, the most extreme with your cultural practices. However, even beyond your island, purebred blood is difficult to acquire and I… do not wish to be in that position. Being addicted to you but not having you. Constantly endeavoring to replace you and find my next fix.”
He lifts our hands and kisses the top of my knuckles. His eyes flicker up and he grins. “You are lovely, though. An unforeseen and overwhelming temptation.”
Me? A temptation? That’s hard to believe.
I watch as he presses his lips to my hand once more, feeling a strange mix of heat, yearning and melancholy. Overall, though, I’m grateful. It’s amazing that the two of us can have an open conversation about an important topic. It feels adult and honest. An overdue experience in my life.
It’s as if I’ve entered a new dimension where I’m allowed to be forthright and curious. I don’t need to feel apprehensive, because I’ll be met with compassion and patience. With genuine answers to my questions.
The castle and its stone walls encapsulate us. Everything has fallen silent. Hushed, as if only the two of us exist within this space. Within our own world.
I swallow, steeling myself and speaking slowly with an assurance and calm that feels new for me, but very good. “Earlier, you asked me what I wanted from you.”
“I did.”
“Well, I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to be addicted to me or to suffer because of my selfish desires, but… is this okay? How we are now, speaking candidly. May I have this much? And I promise I won’t release my aura in your presence again. I’ll be careful to keep you safe.”
