Page 111 of Vampires of Eden: Oliver
“Good night…” He goes, and I watch from the porch, standing in the wash of dusky sunset until his little black sports car disappears down the lane.
I don’t love him, but something deep down tells me that I could have.
If my life had been different.
Summer
ChapterThirty
Nine months into my newfound freedom, I have learned many valuable lessons. The most important one being this: life is a funny thing.
I find that when I trust my instincts and take intentional action, life eventually gives me exactly what I need, when I need it. Even when something seems bad, embarrassing or unfair, if I’m patient, the tide shifts in my favor. My apprenticeship with Alexander’s professional photographer friend, Sylvie, has shown me this time and time again.
A misplaced camera lens during a shoot in Hong Kong led me on a frantic hunt through the concrete maze of the city. As I weaved between the indomitable skyscrapers and endless barrage of neon signs filled with foreign fonts, I found a tiny photo shop. Over the course of a month, the owner of that shop saved us not only once, but three more times before we were all invited to the most incredible feast of dim sum at his home before our departure.
In Thailand, a rather touchy client unexpectedly canceled a shoot, despite days of preparation and planning. This led us to a spontaneous trip to Phang Nga Bay, where glassy canals reflect the sky as they curve and flow through seemingly endless trusses of rainforest and bulging mountains. The scenery reminded me of a place where dragons with lustrous scales might nest and raise their young. I learned a ton about shooting broad landscapes (like I’ve always dreamed of) and took some of my best photos there.
Finally, Kyoto brought us inclement weather, which delayed our schedule by three full days. But after the rain, and within a week’s time, the cherry blossom buds transitioned into a million powdery pink bursts. Everywhere I looked, the trees had been swathed in cotton candy and vibrant green overnight. It gave us the best possible backdrop for our project, and I couldn’t help but remember Aries’s description of it as I sat underneath the ethereal canopy. I missed him the most then. In that moment.
When I met Aries and started falling for him, it felt like a cruel cosmic joke. Here was this incredible vampire that made me feel alive for the first time in my life, but I was stuck in an impossible situation.
Turns out, meeting him and submitting to my feelings—letting myself fall in love—was the best decision I could have made. For myself and others around me, because my choices had a ripple effect. On Sasha, who’s formally and mutually parted ways with Elaine. On Hudson, because he and Ji-Ahn left Eden with their son and moved to Seoul. Even Camille is loving her new life in Paris.
Ending our engagement was the best thing for Alexander, too. After I found out how much he’d done for me (much more than I had initially realized), I made it a point to go back and set things right.
I can honestly say that we’re friends now. Genuinely.
As far as Aries is concerned, I don’t know if I’ve affected his life nearly as much as he’s changed mine. I recognize that this isn’t something that requires a balance—a sternly equal give and take.
Being in love, it isn’t like that. That’s not how it works. Me endeavoring to compensate for everything he’s instilled within me—the way he’s empowered me—well… I can never reimburse him for those things. Trying will lead to our ruin.
This became clear after Aries gifted me the expensive camera, which served as a kind of priceless instrument in the success of my apprenticeship. The literal cost of the camera isn’t what matters. It was his intent. He paid attention and knew exactly what I needed, then sincerely provided support.
Maybe I can’t afford to buy him the most expensive sewing machine that he’s always dreamed of—and I have a feeling that he wouldn’t want that from me anyway. But I can meet him with the same intent. With the same sincerity, honesty and loyalty. We can be balanced.
I’m on my way to see him now. To do just that.
The evening that I land in Italy, the sky is a rich, clear and deep blue. The kind of blue that seems like velvet to touch and is unique to the summer moon. The air is warm and makes me feel a little stifled in my suit. As I ride in the taxi, I marvel at the city through the glass.
Brightly lit boulevards are filled with stylish people and charming restaurants offering bistro tables for sidewalk seating. Whenever we pass a cross street, I peek down the lane and am surprised to see even more people bustling in and out of any and every shop imaginable. Quaint bakeries, bookstores and pharmacies. Specialty shops with quirky names and enticing signage.
In the distance, a second city—which is literally called Città Alta, or the “upper city” in Italian—hovers above us. Elegant buildings and stately, colorful homes are perched atop a luscious and green hillside. A stone wall encapsulates all of this, like the fortress of an old kingdom long perished.
“Ah—Mi scusi, può accostare qui un attimo? Vorrei andare dal fioraio?” I see a vendor with a cart full of flowers up ahead. It gives me an idea.
“Non c’è problema.” My taxi driver waves a hand, then maneuvers toward the flower stand.
The plan is for Aries and me to spend the week together in Bergamo. After tonight, Aries will be in between work assignments. He needs to make a decision about where he’ll go next, and he has some promising options. I haven’t told him yet, but the terms of my apprenticeship have recently changed. Now, I have more flexibility.
I don’t want to hinder him in any way, but, deep down, I want more than just a week with him…
I want everything.
His blood and essence flowing through me. Nourishing me and deeply entwined with my own. And I want to sustain him, too, so that he never needs to search for another feeding source again. No more “expansive networks” or Benjamins. Just me. Reliable, consistent andgoodfor him. I know that I would be. I can feel it.
Aries once told me that he wouldn’t be afraid of bonding if he was innately balanced with someone. That if he found another vampire whose perspective and deeper foundation were harmonious with his, he would submit to it.
Isn’t that what we have? During my apprenticeship, I loved traveling and discovering new places. It’s what I’ve always dreamed of, and truly, every day I wanted to pinch myself. But how much better would it be for Aries and me to travel and experience new places together? It’s what we both enjoy and our natures call to each other. I just… I don’t want to hold back anymore.
