Page 55 of The Awakening
“You’re slowly awakening, Jae, and I’m feeding you—nourishingyou through this. I’m not going to feed from you, but I’ve already bitten you once. Since there are so many unknowns… I would feel more comfortable if we kept things simple. You’re definitely ranked. We don’t know when you’ll turn, and… I don’t—I just don’t want things to get complicated, or for us to fall into something we’re unprepared for.”
Translation: he doesn’t want us to accidentally bond. I don’t know what has to happen to form a vampiric bond, but if I’m honest, I feel a little gutted by this. If you’d asked me which I prefer, “Junichi as a masterful lover?” or “Junichi’s blood?”, I would have chosen the former, without question.
“Okay,” I say, keeping my real feelings to myself. “I understand. I appreciate your doing this for me. Being my source. I obviously respect whatever terms you have.” I look up at him, but then quickly look away and take a sip of my beer. His eyes are staring down at me, and those lips…
Can we not kiss? Cuddling is off the table too?
“Also,” he begins, “you live almost an hour away from me. I know this is closer to the hospital for you, but how do you feel about living with me during this process?”
“Will I be able to work without issue? Is my position at the hospital in jeopardy? The surrogate program…”
“Your position is safe. As long as you feel up to it, please continue as normal. You’ll just be living with me so it’ll be more convenient to feed you.”
I consider the circumstance: living with Jun, but not sleeping with him or kissing his soft, full lips. Not running my fingertips against his tight tummy or brushing my nose into him. Smelling him all the time. Seeing him every day.
It sounds like hell.
“If that works best for you,” I say. Poker face on. I can keep it in my trousers. I can. “I should not expect you to travel an hour out of your way to do this for me. Of course I can.”
“Alright. I appreciate it.”
My heart is sinking, because this is starting to feel like an icy business contract. It isn’t how we came together, is it? Why should we do this now? And Haruka said he thinks we’re highly compatible—like magnets.
Jun doesn’t like ranked vampires, but am I really one? Even if I am by classification, am I by character? That’s what he takes issue with. Their toff manner and stiff way of thinking. But I’m not like that. Which is why he liked me to begin with.
Just as I’m telling myself to take deep breaths again, the doorbell rings. I’m not expecting anyone, and the only people I know have all been here in the past twenty-four hours (except for Sora, but she rang me this morning to check in—so kind). I stand, honestly happy to move away from the now forbidden object of my intense desire. When I open the door, I’m gobsmacked.
“Youwanker. Why thefuckhaven’t you been answering your phone?” Cyrus is standing there with a rolling suitcase beside him. His round, doe-like brown eyes are hostile.
Twenty-Five
Junichi
Someone rude and too loud for the present circumstance is at the front door. I crane my neck to lean over the back of the couch, looking toward the entry since it isn’t very far. A human man is there. He bumps shoulders with Jae, hard, as he passes him to enter the apartment.
“Cy—what the hell—”
“I have been ringing youevery daysince last Saturday, and you never pick up! What am I to do, Jae? You haven’t got any family except for your dad, and you’re stubborn asshitabout making friends and asking for help. So what?”
“Dramatic,” Jae spits. “Christ—is Pippa here too?”
“No, she’s not, you tosser.Why haven’t you been answering my calls? I’m supposed to be yourbest mate.”
Clearly, this is Cyrus. Jae’s best friend and childhood crush. He told me all about him during one of our late-night phone calls while I was abroad—how confused he felt as a youth because of his feelings toward Cy.
Turns out he was a fucking vampire. We don’t label our sexuality like humans do. We are who we are, we like whomever we like. How painful to grow up not knowing who and what you actually are and what’s driving you—to be shamed, burdened and discouraged in exploring it. Humans really get it wrong.
When I stand and walk around the couch, Cyrus finally takes notice of me. He turns to face me, then draws back, his eyes wide. And wide eyes he has. They’re chocolate brown and shaped like oversized almonds. His skin tone is the same nutty color. He has short, silky ink-black hair, a very straight nose and a healthy shadow of a beard framing his thin lips.
Jae definitely has a type. And a sub-type—one level deeper than vampires. I realize I check two boxes for what he clearly likes.
“Who the hell areyou?” Cyrus asks, his thick eyebrow raised. He and Jae are standing in front of me. They’re the exact same average-ish height, but one is warm vanilla while the other is caramel macchiato. Jae steps in between, exasperated.
“Cy,please. This is Junichi Takayama—Junichi, this is Cyrus Dayal.”
I smile. “A pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard much about you.”
Cyrus sneers. “I wish I could bloody well say the same. You’re a vampire.”
