Page 75 of The Awakening
Haruka’s deep voice is quiet from the doorway behind me. “I believe he is dying, in a sense.” I turn and frown at him. Not helpful.
I lean down over Jae’s body and into his face so that our noses touch, because I know he likes this and it comforts him. “Sunshine, you need to let your body rest and do what it needs to do. If it wants to sleep, then let it sleep.”
I can feel his breathing slowing, his body becoming slightly less tense. He deeply exhales, relaxing. When I lift, his gaze is soft, delirious, with heavy bags under his chestnut eyes. His hair is matted with sweat, but his overall demeanor is less frantic. He whispers, his voice brittle and dry, “I feel so heavy. Tired…”
“I know.”
“Don’t… Pl-please don’t leave me.”
“I won’t,” I say, smiling. “I’m right here.” My heart is so warm in my chest that my eyes are threatening to alight and betray me again, but I inhale and blow out a breath to quell the rush of emotions. “When you wake up as a shiny new first-gen, let’s talk about our life together.” It’s a bold thing to say, I know, but… I genuinely mean it. I want it. I wanthim.All of this—this bizarre, unprecedented circumstance is telling me that it’s time to walk away from Ren and purebred blood for good.
Finally, Jae’s expression eases and something like peace washes over his gaze. He smiles, his eyes drifting shut. “Life… together?”
“Yes.” Leaning in, I kiss him softly on the tip of his nose, then on his cheek and up to his temple. When I’m done, he’s deeply asleep. Calm and unmoving.
I sit up straight, watching him. My sleeping prince. Peaceful and lovely in the late autumn sunlight. Haruka walks forward now to stand beside me. He’s looking down at Jae quietly when I ask, “Should he have submitted? Are you sure about this?”
Haruka shrugs. “Mostly.”
“Wow.”
“Is he not much more peaceful now than he was a moment ago?” Haruka reasons. “Regardless of the result, this is obviously better than his suffering.”
“Should I have fed him one last time?”
“You could try now?”
Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I will my fangs out and bite down. When I gently pull Jae’s chin with my free thumb and place the open bite marks down to his mouth, I feel his tongue lap against my skin, and he instinctively sucks. Amazing.
“Why have you decided that Jae will be first-generation when he fully awakens?” Haruka asks.
“It makes the most sense, doesn’t it?” I say quietly, looking down at Jae’s contented, sleeping expression. “Even if his mother was a fully repressed vampire, Jae’s father was human. He can’t help but be lower ranked. I think first-gen is best-case scenario… I’m aiming a little high because his blood tastes so good to me. Maybe we’ll be equals? He could be second or third, though.”
“Hm.” Haruka turns and walks toward the door. I’m about to ask if he disagrees, but he cuts me off. “Sydney has lunch prepared. When you are finished, shall we eat and let Jae rest?”
I feel the holes in my palm heal, so I bring my hand up to my own mouth and lick the rest clean. Jae is sound asleep. “Yeah. How long do you think he’ll sleep?”
“I cannot be sure. Time will tell.”
Thirty-Five
Junichi
“Do I have to go back?” I’ve never thought of myself as a coward. But shit… maybe I am? “Can I just call? Write ‘Fuck you’ on some fancy letterhead and mail it?”
“No—you have to do it in person, Jun,” Asao says, absently twisting his beer glass against the wooden table. “Don’t say ‘Fuck you.’ Send the request directly to Ren’s parents so that they’re primarily involved in the meeting. Avoid talking with him alone since that doesn’t seem to go very well. Haruka or Nino will need to go with you, too, since you’re under their realm and your father is gone.”
“Fuckme.” I sigh, leaning my head back against the booth wall. I should have done this a long time ago. This is what I get.
“Is he still texting you?” Asao asks, bringing his beer to his lips.
“Every damn day.”
It’s Monday. One week since I last saw Ren. Five days since Jae fell asleep. He’s still sleeping now at Haruka’s house. I go to see Jae every day, and I’m close by now—in a bar in the historical quarter a couple blocks from the estate. Jae is lifeless and cold. His breathing is so shallow, I have to lean down and put my ear to his mouth to feel the subtle warmth of it. I do this every time I walk into the room. It’s my new habit. It makes me anxious because he literally seems dead, but Haruka isn’t worried about it, so I keep my cool.
Ren doesn’t usually text me this much. If I’m home, his typical text pattern is once every seven days. He knows I’m probably running on fumes by then and thinks he needs to remind me that I need to feed—like I don’t fucking know that. I still always push it two more days. Three if I can manage it. Just to spite him.
If I’m traveling in Europe, he doesn’t bother me at all, because he knows I’m feeding from some first-gen or whoever. I’m not at my best when I do this, but it’s fine—like what I imagine to be a bad case of seasonal allergies. I feel shitty and unfocused, but I can manage. Plus, Ren will be there to put me back in optimum health once I get home.
