Page 69 of The Awakening
Could I do this with him forever? Have him in my house, being warm, witty and delightful? Running my shop by day, then coming home to him at night… pleasing him and laughing with him. Dancing and eating with him.
I’ve never had the desire to bond. Even when I was expected to do it with Ren, I didn’t want it. Being bonded with my father slowly killed my mom’s spirit. I hated watching it year after year, knowing I couldn’t do anything about it other than promise myself to never be in a situation like hers—permanently beholden to someone cold who outranked me.
Istillwouldn’t say that I want to bond, but… when Jae fully awakens and he’s a first-gen like me, maybe… maybe I can imagine it. We’ll be equals then—well matched and innately drawn to each other. Even if he’s second- or third-gen when he awakens, if my nature responds this strongly to him, I should accept it, shouldn’t I? I’ll be rid of Ren and his fucking purebred blood. It’ll be hard, but… maybe I should trust in this?
Jae is making sexy little moaning noises as he slowly settles himself onto my cock. I don’t force or manipulate him in any way. I just kiss him underneath and along his jawline as I caress his lower back with my fingertips, waiting until he’s made himself comfortable. When he’s all the way down, he wraps his legs around me, sighing and finding my mouth to kiss me back. He feels so tight and hot around my shaft—the weight of him is marvelous. Not too heavy, not too light. Perfect. He’s relaxed and already gently rocking his hips into me as he kisses me. He’s so fucking sexy and brazen. He does these things and chills go up my spine.
I slide my hands down to his hips, urging his movement against me now. We’re still kissing, but it’s getting wild with Jae’s rocking. Messy. Jae breaks the kiss and inhales like he can’t breathe, lifting his face toward the ceiling with his eyes clenched shut.
“Christ, Jun… you feel so good.”
With his eyes still closed, he removes his hands from around my shoulders and leans back on his palms, using the bed as leverage to rock himself harder into me. He’s swearing and out of breath, like he’s desperately chasing the release he needs from me.
I’m mesmerized by him. The feel of his body wrapped around me, the delicious scent of him and his shameless desire. I take one hand from his hip and firmly wrap it around his shaft between us to help him in his pursuit. I grip him hard, pulling and tugging, and a moment later he cries out, spilling over for me. He arches his neck and back, stunning and angelic in the golden sunlight pouring in through the glass wall.
Without even thinking, I grab his torso and pull him toward me while his neck is exposed. I lift my chin so that I’m just above his collarbone and I bite down hard. I hear Jae gasp, then feel his hands at my shoulders, swiftly wrapping around to embrace me.
His blood is flowing into my mouth, divine as I pull and swallow. He tastes just like he smells—sweet, warm andeverythinggood. Anything satisfying I’ve ever known. Something freshly baked or a rainy day indoors. A winter night by the fire. Everything cozy and wholesome feels like its concentrated in Jae’s blood and I don’t understand why. How is he so unbelievably satisfying to me when he hasn’t even fully awakened yet?
The sublime pleasure of his blood and the heat of his tight body push me over the edge. I climax while I’m still feeding from him, like electricity is running up my spine and through me, straight to my brain. Jae has one hand clasped at the back of my neck, the other in my hair with his fingers gently massaging my scalp and his arms resting on my shoulders. He’s encouraging what I’m doing. Willingly giving of himself.
When I pull up from his neck and lick him clean, I notice he’s trembling. Worried, I look up to check his face. “Are you alright?” I ask.
He’s calm as he smiles. “I’m perfect.”
“Why are you shaking like this?” I look him over, caressing my hands up his spine to embrace him tight, wanting to ease his tremors.
He wraps his arms tighter around my shoulders. “I don’t know… This happened the first time you fed from me too. I feel gooey and melty inside. It makes me shake, but it passes. I’m alright.”
I blink, lifting my head from the warm hug to face him. “Why didn’t you tell me that the first time?”
He leans into me, brushing his nose against mine with his eyes closed. “You were a bit miffed with me at the time, remember? Having thought I was lying to you about being a vampire.”
I smile, meeting his affection. “You were.”
He lifts his head from me, his face serious. “Wasnot. Jun—”
I kiss him and wrap my arms even tighter around his waist. When I sense the tension in him relax, I pull up. “I’m joking, Jae. If you feel something strange happening with your body, please tell me. I’m sorry I wasn’t in the right state of mind that first time.”
“Don’t worry,” he says, nuzzling his nose against me again. God, he really loves this. “Are we… bonded now?”
I laugh. “No. If we were, you would know. I hear it’s an unmistakable feeling—like an anchor being dropped in your gut and at the base of your spine.”
“I sincerely doubt it’s as painful and horrific as you describe.”
I shrug. “It’s just what I’ve heard—and sometimes there are flashes of light and color.” I pinch his ass so he jumps slightly in surprise. “If you’ll release me, maybe we can shower, have some spicy tofu soup and then make our way back here?”
Having fed from Jae is like a palate cleanser. The residual, emotional muck that Ren dumped into me is gone, but I still feel tired. I didn’t have a lot of appointments today. The ones I had, I’ll cancel. I know Jae usually researches and works on the surrogacy program in the mornings, but…
He grins, occasionally wincing as he slowly lifts himself from my shaft. “Lazing about all morning in bed? With you? Yes, please… So sex is back on the table for us?”
Distracted, I carefully take hold of the used condom. “Obviously.” When I have it in my fingers, I scoot toward the end of the bed.
“No—I mean… This isn’t a one-time thing? Like you just wanted a refresher course.”
I’m standing to walk toward the bathroom, but pause and look at him. “I think… if you’re open with me about how you’re feeling, maybe we’re okay? Since you’re not fully awakened… we don’t need to be so strict.” And deep down—deep, deep down—I tell myself that if it happens… it happens.
Jae falls back, smiling as he stretches his arms up over his head and writhes against the comforter, happy and naked. “I promise to tell you everything—open communication. No secrets… Are you sleeping with anyone else? Currently?”
