Page 48 of The Awakening
Slowly, I feel the flicker of his tongue against my hand, his eyes still closed. A few seconds later, he lifts his chin into my palm, his tongue flattening against my flesh to take in more blood. I reach down with my free hand and wrap my fingers against the back of his hair, then gently lift his head upright from the pillow.
He’s feeding. His Adam’s apple is bobbing from swallowing and he’s breathing a little deeper. I’m staring down at him, watching him. Nothing is happening and the room is silent.
My mind is wrestling. I’m thinking about how I like to keep my life simple—I design and make clothes, I fund Mom’s hospital and I date humans to avoid ranked vampires and their aristocrat drama. That’s me. It’s been me for the past fifty-five years since my father died. It keeps me free, unburdened. I love it.
How I ended up sitting in a messy apartment and feeding a human–ranked-vampire hybrid is beyond me. I’m beside myself. I don’t know if I should be upset at him for hiding this from me or with myself for chasing him to begin with.
* * *
In the hourit takes for Jae to rouse, I tell Nino that I fed from Jae about a week ago, and that he does indeed taste like a ranked vampire. It’s my big revelation, but Nino isn’t surprised.
“Haru found out a lot of interesting stuff while he was in Hong Kong,” he tells me. He’s sitting on the floor across from me with his legs drawn up, knees bent and his back pressed against the wall. “He thinks Jae has always been a vampire, but he doesn’t know it. I guess there are clans that did this in ancient days—repressed their bloodlines, like reluctant vampires.”
I draw back. “He thinks Jae is from an ancient clan?”
Nino shakes his head. “Not necessarily. He thinks Jae is repressed more recently than that, since his mother was sick and he feels anxious around us. He can’t say how many generations, but maybe starting from the late 1800s? It’s all conjecture.”
“So why is this happening now? Have I done something to trigger him?”
“Don’t know. Possibly. Haru said there wassomeinfo on the process of actual repression, but none on reawakening the bloodline.”
“You think that’s what’s happening to him now? An awakening?”
“Don’t you?” Nino breathes a laugh, incredulous. “Looks like it to me.”
After that, I stare into space, wondering what the actual fuck I’ve gotten myself into. The only thing that snaps me out of it is Jae’s shifting behind me on the bed. I’m sitting on the floor with my back against the bedframe. I turn my head, and Jae is haphazardly trying to push himself upright.
I shift myself up to sit on the bed, then grab his arms to help him. His skin is flaky and rough, and he’s shaking. His weary eyes are less milky now—like milk with honey mixed in.
“Take it easy,” I urge.
“Wh-what’s wrong with me?” His voice comes out in a scratchy whisper. “Why—”
“You don’t know?” I ask. Because somehow, I can’t believe that he wouldn’t know. That he would be totally blind to something innate like this about himself. That he would have no inkling of it in his conscious mind.
He’s still shaking as I hold his arms, but he meets my gaze. “I—I thought… I had the flu. This isnotthe flu.”
“You don’t have the flu,” Nino says from across the room. Jae whips his head to look at him, as if he hadn’t known he was there.
He clenches his fists and lowers his head, shaking it. “What’swrongwith me?” He’s scared. Genuinely terrified as I gently hold his wrists in my hands. I can feel the fear and confusion rolling off him. My frustration is melting. He didn’t lie to me. If he did, he’s in the wrong profession and missed his chance at being an Oscar-winning actor.
I lean into him, pressing my forehead into his temple because when I do things like this, he always seems to calm down. “Breathe, Jae.” He does. His shoulders rise and fall in a deep breath. He does this a few times, and the shaking lessens.
When I lift my head, his eyes are closed. “We’ll tell you what we think is happening, but you need a bath—probably some food too. How do you feel?”
Jae opens his eyes. They’re already a little browner. “Confused.”
“Physically…” Nino smiles from across the room. “How’s your body?”
Jae blinks over at him. “Confused.”
Nino laughs. I shake my head.
“Alright.” I stand up. “Bath first. Can you walk?”
Jae offers a shaky nod. Nino stands from the floor and meets us at the bed. He helps me pull Jae up, and we both guide him toward the bathroom.
He wakes up a little more as I bathe and scrub him. His skin is peeling off and shedding like I’m going to clean and leave him raw—flaking off and disappearing down the drain. But when I’m done, he’s fine. His skin is soft and supple, and his color is normal again, like nothing happened. Like I dreamt all of it.
