Page 43 of The Awakening
I move back toward the door and Jae steps aside, staring at me as I pass him. I go straight to the kitchen, pull a clean cloth out of the drawer and wet it at the sink. After I ring it out, I walk back toward him, grab his hand and urge him toward the couch. “Can we sit, please?”
He sits, never taking his eyes off me. I reach up and gently dab the cloth against his skin to clean it. They’re not bleeding out anymore, but he still has small puncture marks from where I fed and there’s light bruising. I shake my head. If heisa ranked vampire, this should have healed instantly. Also, his skin was soft to bite into, not hard. Biting into another vampire is like biting into an apple—perfectly satisfying, crisp and juicy. Biting into a human is like biting into a jelly-filled donut. Jae’s flesh is all donut.
Nothing makes any fucking sense.
I wipe the blood from his collar bone. “Your blood is that of a ranked vampire. You had no idea?”
“What?No.That doesn’t make any sense—I haven’t lied to you about anything. I’m not trying to deceive you… How wouldIknow what my blood tastes like?”
When he’s clean, I drop my hands in my lap and look at him. “You’veneverdrunk blood? Not once?”
“No.”
“You’ve never had the urge to? Even a passing thought?”
“No.”
Now we’re staring at each other, his eyes resolute and mine disbelieving. I sit back and rub my palms against my face, sighing. “God, you make me so fuckingnervous. I have no idea what’s going on with you and you’re not helping.”
“What am I supposed to do?” Jae asks, throwing his hands up. “I’ve beenmemy entire life. I know who I am—and what I am. But suddenly you’re telling me I’m somethingcompletelydifferent and I have no evidence of it. I havenotangible reason to start behaving differently or think otherwise.”
His warm eyes are usually playful and teasing. Relaxed. Now they’re stressed. I’m pushing him, I know. He’s right, but I’m right, too. In my silence, he goes on, calmer this time.
“Even if what you say is true, what should I do, Jun? Do you want me to start feeding? Even though I don’t have any desire to do so?”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Right. Okay. So?”
I sigh. “So you make meverynervous. You’re an unknown and it makes me uncomfortable.”
When I say this, he sits up. His expression drops—hardens in a way I’m unfamiliar with. “So you’re done with me, then? We’re finished?”
I blink. I don’t like this expression on his face. “Why do you say that? That I’m ‘done’ with you—”
“Because that’s what it is, isn’t it? No use sugar-coating it. I’m a fucking weirdo that makes you uncomfortable, so we’re done.”
He moves to stand up from the couch, but I grab his waist and pull him back down in a soft tumble. While I hold him, I sit straighter and face him. “Please stop. We’re just talking. Can we talk?” I lift my hand and run my fingers into the back of his messy waves. He shifts his gaze from me, but he doesn’t pull away. “I didn’t sayyoumake me uncomfortable. You make me feel very comfortable, Jae. Too comfortable—and that’s what makes me nervous. And ‘unknown’ does not mean ‘weird.’ Please don’t twist my words.”
I lean in slowly and brush my nose against his cheek. “Are you showing me your baggage right now?”
He puffs a laugh from his nose, but he doesn’t smile. “Maybe. Absolutely.”
“I like you,” I finally admit aloud, then kiss his cheek. Even now he smells delicious to me. Intoxicating and sweet. I could bite him again—this human-vampire hybrid. “I would like to continue seeing you, if you still want to see me?”
He finally shifts his head to look directly at me, his expression softened. “Yeah, of course, just—pleasestop accusing me of misleading you. Because I’m not.”
I lean in to kiss him and he automatically parts his lips. I love that. Like walking up a pathway to someone’s house and they open the door before I’m even there. A warm welcome. I indulge in his spiced, peachy mouth for a moment before I pull away. “Haruka is in Hong Kong until Thursday. I want to talk to him about this—about you—since he tends to be all-knowing with these things. Is that alright with you? We’ll make a plan to see each other next Saturday evening for another sleepover and I can report back to you?”
He nods. “Yeah, okay.” He surprises me when he falls out of my grasp and back onto the couch. Just plops down and rubs his palms to his face. “Christ.”
I stand up and shift his legs onto the couch. When I sit, I make him straddle me with one leg straightened behind me and the other in my lap. I smile. “I didn’t mean to cause you stress. I apologize.”
“Bloody hell.” He takes a breath, still rubbing his palms against his face.
“You must really like me?” I ask, grinning.
He lifts his head and looks up at me, frowning. “Are you taking the mick? Is this amusing to you?”
