Page 112 of The Awakening
“You’re overthinking.”
He’s looking at me like he’s about to put up a fight—which is fine. I’d much rather he snap at me like this and be honest than politely conceal his feelings, like I’m some stranger he’s sitting next to on an airplane.
Jae is watching me, but then his gaze softens and he slinks over to me through the water. He straddles my hips, and the moment he settles down, I wrap my arms around his ass and pull him even tighter into me. He leans down and kisses me, full on. No hesitation.
He brings his hands up to my head and slides his fingers into the back of my hair, gripping me as his mouth moves on mine—his tongue stroking inside me. The weight and feel of him on top of me is phenomenal. A relief, because I’ve been thinking about him and wanting to be close to him like this for months. I raise my knees up just a little so he’s even tighter against me, and I can feel him warm and hard against my stomach.
My eyes are closed, but they start to burn the longer he kisses me. Breathing in his sweet scent, tasting him and having his slick, naked body in my arms—my nature and everything within me is on cloud nine. He raises his head from the kiss, and I open my eyes to see that his are burning too. The color has changed, but only slightly. The pristine blue from before is now more like indigo—blue but with a dark trace of purple. A little bit of me.
Jae brings one hand to my cheek, staring. “Your eyes changed.”
I smile. “That happens. It’s natural.”
“Hm.” He breathes out and kisses me again. Just a soft, sweet touch of our lips before he pulls up. “I like that you’re a wolf.”
“Good thing. It’s a little late to turn back now.”
He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t ever… I want to talk to someone.”
“About?”
“Everything,” he says, his eyes slowly burning out and returning to normal. “This change and becoming a vampire… or awakening, rather. Feeling out of place. Not knowing where I belong.”
I’m listening and lazily sliding my fingers up and down his lower spine underneath the water. I have something to say about this, but the timing isn’t right, so I just wait and let him go on.
“Haruka said he knows of someone in Osaka,” Jae continues. “A therapist. I’d like to talk with them, if possible.”
“Does this mean you want to come back to Japan?”
He sits a little straighter, resting his hands against my chest. “Well, your work is there—”
“My work can be anywhere. If you wanted to stay in Europe, that wouldn’t be a problem for me. I have lots of clients here, too, and materials can easily be shipped.”
“Right.” Jae inhales, thinking. “But the hospital and my work are in Japan, and it would be better if I was onsite to oversee the surrogacy program, and my patients. Remote is going alright, but my supervisor definitely doesn’t prefer this arrangement.”
I exhale a sigh of relief. Japan is the best choice. If Jae wanted to stay in England, I already had some strategies planned out in my mind about how to make that work. We would have been fine, maybe. Truthfully? Jae needs more than me. After being with him for a few days and witnessing how this awakening has impacted him, I’m concerned. I think our bonding is definitely a step in the right direction, but it’s not enough.
I hadn’t anticipated how deeply traumatized he would be from all this, which was shortsighted of me. His entire life has been turned upside down. Separating from him did not help, but I can at least fix that part. That’s a small piece of the bigger picture that I can manage.
“Is that alright?” he asks. “Me going back with you?”
Lifting, I kiss his chin and smile. “Of course. I like the house in Bristol though. Can we keep it? Maybe vacation there occasionally? Or if our schedules match up, you can join me when I come to Europe for work.”
“I’d like that.”
My hands are resting against his hips as I tilt my head. “You’re not glowing anymore?”
He chuckles, tracing the contours of my stomach with his fingertips. “I don’t know exactly, but… if I let it burn out like I did earlier, it’s more manageable for a while afterward. It feels like it’s sleeping now. Like a kid that’s worn itself out after having a playdate.”
I laugh at the imagery of that scenario—Jae’s child-like indigo aura curled up inside him and napping because I wore it out.
“Can I release it for you?” I ask.
“What will it feel like?”
Bringing one hand up from the water, I rub the back of my neck, thinking. “I’m obviously not purebred, so I don’t know for sure. I can’t experience it, but I can do it for you. I hear it’s one of the best things about being purebred—better than sex.”
Jae is looking down at my stomach, still tracing. Silent.
