Page 35 of The Vanishing
He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling. “Everything changed.”
It did. Without question. Cellina considers.Maybe it’s time to talk this through?
“I didn’t make that choice to hurt you, Giovanni. That was never my intention.”
“I know that,” he says, his gaze cast down. “I couldn’t understand it at the time—my juvenile vampire mind couldn’t process it.”
“A lot happened back then,” Cellina says, taking a moment to steel herself. She’s spent so many years wrestling with the mess of complex emotions resulting from that time—frustration, indignation, regret and deep sorrow for her friend. She wanted to be there for him when things were difficult, but he didn’t want her there. He told her to go away, so she did.
But now…
“So… you’re not angry with me anymore?” she asks. “You don’t hate me?”
“Ineverhated you. I could never feel that way about you.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt you. I don’t regret my decision, but… we made a promise and I broke it.”
“You made the right choice.” Giovanni closes his eyes, bringing his fingers up to massage the space between his brows. “You saved Nino’s life. He needed you more than I did—and I did some stupid things back then.”
“We were young,” Cellina says, letting the moment wash over her. Relief. The freedom of it long overdue. This unfortunate circumstance of Nino’s abduction brought them here—in Kyoto together and at this table, forcing them to sit down and acknowledge the elephant. To tackle and push it from in between them.
Feeling comfortable enough to put both feet in the water, Cellina grins. “I will admit that when I offered myself to Nino, I didn’t think I’d be feeding him for the next one hundred and four years.”
“You fed him for a long fucking time.”
Cellina laughs, covering her face with her palms. “So damn long—why was it so long? I thought he’d come of age at twenty-one and find someone.”
“Nope,” Giovanni says. “You enabled him. We both did in different ways.”
“I think… I just wanted to protect him, you know? The vamps in our society were being such shitheads, I felt like I had to compensate… God.” Cellina shakes her head and picks up her dessert fork. She takes a bite of her cake, sighing as the fluffy, buttery and sweet texture engulfs her senses.
“What is that?” Giovanni asks, eyeing her plate as he takes a sip of his coffee.
“It’s called Castella. It’s from Portugal originally, but you know how the Japanese like to take things and put their own spin on it. One of the families I visited gave me some and now I’m hooked. Do you want to try it?”
Giovanni’s full lips curve into a surprised grin. “Sure.”
Cellina cuts a piece of the cake with her fork and holds it out to him. Maybe they won’t ever be as close as they were. So much time has been lost between them and they’re very different vampires now. No longer kids sneaking out of boring, adult conversations to roam around moonlit summer gardens.
Theyare the boring adults now. Totally changed. Grown up and experienced much of life in absence of each other. But this—an open conversation, a moment of warm recollection and laughter. It’s a nice beginning. A true cease-fire.
Giovanni leans forward, opening his mouth to take the small chunk of cake. Not thinking, Cellina watches him, mesmerized by his beautiful lips wrapping around her fork then slowly pulling the dessert off the utensil. He flashes a rogue look, his vivid eyes shining. “See something you like?”
“Shut up.” She frowns, brushing off the mild embarrassment. “I was just thinking… it would be nice if we could be friends again.”
He raises a golden-brown eyebrow. “Were we just friends before?”
“Of course we were.”
“I remember it a little differently,” he says, bringing the iced coffee to his mouth.
Cellina narrows her eyes and leans forward. “Then it’ll be nice for us to be friends for thefirsttime, apparently.” At this, Giovanni laughs, the frown lines in his forehead easing and giving way to mirth.
His damn mouth,Cellina thinks.That’s changed over the years, for sure.
Among other things.
Eighteen
