Page 16 of Lore and Lust
“Chicken katsu curry…” Nino whispers, mesmerized as he stands and follows Haruka out the room.
Walking beside him, Nino realizes that the nervousness he’d felt a few days earlier has dissipated. He’s calm—comfortable with Haruka now. But his nature deep within him is still restless and twisty, like a small child throwing a tantrum. It’s an odd juxtaposition.
He discreetly glances at Haruka’s profile. He doesn’t know why his instincts are reacting this way toward him, but Nino is very glad that he accepted Haruka’s generous offer.
* * *
“We’ll leavefor Hertsmonceux tomorrow afternoon. Do you feel more prepared after reading through the research?”
“I do,” Nino confirms. It’s true. He feels intellectually equipped for the confirmation. Emotionally, his anxiety is stirring. An isolated castle full of high-level vampires isnothis idea of a fun-filled weekend. “You’re already finished with the confirmation certificate, right?”
“I am,” says Haruka, stretching his arms up and rolling his neck. “The rest of today will be spent reviewing my work and making certain I have the names, titles and rankings of each vampire’s lineage correct. It is tedious, but not wholly unpleasant. Scripting the legal verbiage within the document was much more monotonous.”
Nino shakes his head in amazement. “I can’t even imagine.” He’s never met anyone like Haruka. Just as he’d suspected, simply being around him has exposed Nino to new ideas and deep cultural insight.
Haruka is smart, but not condescending. Sophisticated but not arrogant. When Nino is confused about something, Haruka approaches him with patience. Kindness. When Nino speaks, he listens. He counters his opinions and challenges him, but with respect (except for those odd times he’s being threatened with corporal punishment tactics from the Middle Ages). Haruka has been timidly playful too, and Nino is always surprised by his wry, discreet sense of humor.
Aside from his best friend, Nino hasn’t ever met another ranked vampire that he’s felt this comfortable with. Going into the confirmation event this weekend, Nino decides he needs an ally. He needs someone who understands him—someone he can open up to about his past should any issues arise. It’s only been three days… but he wonders if Haruka could become a genuine friend?
Nino grips the edge of the bench. He cautiously looks up at Haruka, deciding to trust his instincts.
“Can I tell you something personal?” Nino asks. “About me, I mean.”
Haruka is leaning against the table with his elbow, his chin resting in his palm and his eyes closed. Finishing the official confirmation document has clearly been challenging. Arduous. Even when Nino has gone to bed at night, Haruka usually remains in the library, busily writing and focused on his notes.
Haruka lazily opens his eyes to look at him. “Sure.”
Nino takes a deep breath, his hands trembling. He holds the bench a little tighter. As a general rule, he never talks about this. He doesn’t usually need to, because everyone he’s grown up with already knows. “When I ignored the invitations to the confirmation, it was because I was scared.”
The dark vampire is perfectly still and calm as he watches with heavy lids. “Scared of…?”
“Being around so many ranked vampires in an isolated place. One of the benefits in my moving to England was that there weren’t as many high-level vampires here. I… I know that sounds weird becauseI’ma high-level vampire, but—”
Nino takes another breath. He’s dawdling. He needs to get to the point. “When I was little, my uncle used to force feed from me.”
Haruka doesn’t move at all, but something in his expression shifts. It’s subtle and Nino can’t quite read it, but it’s there. “He—he did it pretty often,” Nino goes on, keeping his breathing even. “I think I was five? Maybe six. The way he did it, he was manipulating me and telling me it was okay for him to do it. I didn’t know any better. But it hurtlikehell, him biting me like that.”
Nino rakes his hand through his hair. Haruka slowly sits up straight to lean back against the bench, as if Nino’s movement has given him permission to move as well.
“I know it was more than a hundred years ago…” Nino shakes his head, feeling shamed that he’sstillso deeply impacted by the event. “But… I just want you to know before we go to Sussex that I don’t mean to be selfish, or a coward—”
“I would not perceive you in that way,” Haruka says, his eyes more alert. Focused. “Nor have I ever. On the contrary, I feel that you are exceptionally brave… and selfless, given your history. To willingly attend this event and accept my invitation knowing nothing substantial about me. I am impressed by your courage.”
Nino’s chest warms, making him smile. He wishes his brother would see things that way. “When we met, I don’t know… I felt like I could trust you.”
Haruka lifts his hand to rub the back of his neck, shifting his deep brown irises away. If Nino didn’t know any better, he would swear that Haruka was… embarrassed?
“I would never harm or create distress for you,” Haruka says, still avoiding Nino’s eyes. “And thank you… for—for the honor of confiding in me.”
He finally flickers his gaze back at Nino. The hesitation there is so endearing that it only makes Nino’s heart warmer. This sudden, candid shift in Haruka’s otherwise unruffled, diplomatic mask. Nino playfully bumps his knee against Haruka’s underneath the table, making the dark vampire jump about a mile high.
“Thank you for listening.” Nino smiles, relaxed. “You don’t need to be so formal. It’s awkward.”
Haruka hunches and rubs both palms against his face. Nino laughs. Until now, Haruka has always been so perfectly poised, courteous and composed.
It’s nice… seeing him a little unraveled for once.
Nine
