Page 75 of A Vow of Shadow and Blood
My mind turns to Willow and Tori. I’ve failed them both. Everything I’ve ever done to help has only ever backfired. Perhaps my mistakes have finally caught up to me, and this is my penance. I move until my back presses against the wall and slide my body down it, ignoring the sharp bits that jut out and scratch me along the way. When I finally hit the ground, I let my head sink between my knees and cry, knowing that this place will likely be the last thing I see before I die.
There’s something truly cruel about isolating a person to the point that they start to feel insane. Since Eamon and Kaia came to do their little test, no one has been back. Athriel says that it has been at least two days, but I no longer know. I’ve taken to stretching my arms through the bars to gather the dripping water in my hands when the agonizing thirst gets too much. Even when the starlight dims so low that the entire dungeon is cast in shadow, the drip of the water remains. Keeping me company even when Athriel is too tired to speak.
I run my tongue over my chapped lips, ignoring the harsh sting as it provides a temporary salve. My head rests against the jagged wall, letting my eyes drift to the ceiling as I resume the repetitive game of counting the stone tiles. It’s the only entertainment I get now, I even feel myself missing the bloodhouse at times. I quickly stamp out the fleeting thought as shame fills me. Athriel has barely spoken, as though he has finally accepted our fate. I know the feeling. My body barely feels like my own, and the pounding in my head has become an unwelcome constant. The only relief I get is when sleep swallows me whole, which is often. I no longer have the energy to stay awake, but a deep-rooted fear warns me that I may not wake the next time that I fall asleep.
Perhaps that would be a good thing to just allow myself to sink into the dark abyss and enjoy whatever peace it may bring. Cora used to tell me and Tori stories at the orphanage of the lost gods. It was said that death was not to be feared, and that there was a place in their home for all after we departed this realm. I remember the first time I heard that. It sounded beautiful. A home where I would be wanted and loved. Cherished, even—but with the gods gone, death is a mystery, and no one knows if it still holds the peace it once did. But in these moments where hunger tightens my stomach and my mouth begs for some moisture, I welcome death. The unknown may be scary, but it would be a welcome reprieve from the torment of this cell. My eyes begin to droop, and for once, I make no effort to stop them. I have failed Willow just as I did Tori, but perhaps we can both find peace in death. Maybe if we’re truly lucky, we can find each other.
The world around me floats away as I allow myself to sink further into the shadows, accepting whatever fate has in store for me. I’m not sure whether I imagine it, but a small smile seems to curve my lips as I accept my fate.
It’s the small press of something cool against my lips that makes me pause. In the distance, a soft voice coaxes me back as a cool liquid fills my mouth. It could be poison, but I don’t care. I drink it down like it’s my lifeline, letting the smooth taste soothe my throat. Greedily, I take more, and I feel a soft sensation against the back of my head, lifting me toward something. I relax into it, too tired to fight anymore.
“I can’t believe none of you have given her food or drink.” A soft voice curses in the background.
“She’s a prisoner, not a guest.”
A moment passes before any of them speaks again. “We’re better than this.”
The smell of something savory wafts up my nose, causing my stomach to cry out just before something warm touches my lips. A salty flavor hits my taste buds, the rich blend of chicken and vegetables filling my mouth. I eat hungrily, pausing only to swallow. Each bite awakens something deep within me, as if my body is trying to rebuild itself. I consume the entire contents before my eyes open.
I blink a few times, and my shoulders sag as I realize that I’m still in my cell. Piper’s face comes into focus, her features soft and twisted with worry. I shake my head, clearly delirious from the lack of food and drink.
“Can you stand?” Her voice is a soft whisper. I try to speak, but nothing comes out, so I nod instead. I feel a soft pressure around my arm that helps to lift me from the floor. Her gentleness makes a memory of how I treated her when I first arrived flicker in my head, and I hate it.
“I’m sorry for how I treated you.” The words fall from my lips before I have a chance to rethink them. It’s the lack of food that makes me speak these foolish words, I decide.
“You do not need to apologize.”
We move silently through the dungeon, and for the first time, I see the other cells, all without bars and empty. I have truly been alone. I peer into one cell and find a dried brown puddle with an acrid scent that causes me to heave. I just about catch my breath and notice that Piper is running a hand up and down my back.
“I’m ok.”
She nods, and we keep moving, but as we near a set of stairs that go up to some unknown location, I pause. I try to pull out of her grasp, but I don’t have the strength or the energy.
“Where are you taking me?”
Her head dips, and she averts her eyes. “It’s ok.”
But something in the way that she speaks tells me that it will be anything but ok. Confusion causes me to lift my brows as I shake my head.
“No.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
They no longer need me. They’re going to execute me.Athriel!
Fight her,he hisses, and Gods, I try. I somehow manage to pull out of her grasp and throw a punch, but it hits the air. I see her sad face watching me as she easily dodges every hit I throw in her direction, my arms weak and useless.
“Please just calm down.”
I try to shake my head, but the move sends a wave of dizziness through me that causes me to bend and almost expel every bit of food she just gave me. Still, I back away, trying to create distance between us, but it’s pointless. My only escape is up the stairs, and I can barely even see them.
“We tried it your way and now we’ll try mine.”
Kaia’s voice fills the space, and when I look up, I find her and the female with the shaved head watching from the shadows.
“She’s just afraid,” Piper tells her.
Anger twists Kaia’s face as she stares at me. “As she should be.”
