Page 55 of A Vow of Shadow and Blood
After Amabel’s vampires dragged me back to the bloodhouse last night, they threw me outside my room, leaving me to wallow in my own self-pity. I stayed there, frozen, wrapped in nothing but my own guilt. Even when Athriel told me to get up, I ignored him. Grief and exhaustion had taken away my ability to speak or think. Cora found me, of course. It was she who lifted me to my feet, gently coaxed me inside my room, and then scrubbed the blood from my skin.Tori’s blood.
Memories of her linger everywhere in the bloodhouse; there isn’t a corner I can enter that isn’t haunted by the remnants of her laughter.A sound I’ll never hear again.The realization makes my stomach flip.I close my eyes, too afraid to ruin the makeup Cora has so expertly done. My chest tightens, and I snap my eyes open. I look like me but not. It’s like a piece has been stolen that I’ll never get back. Cora somehow covered the dark circles beneath my eyes, painted there by the onslaught of nightmares that held me in their grip last night. Tonight, I have to see this through; otherwise, everything will have been for nothing. Tori will have…died for nothing. But Willow…Willow is still alive.
The sound of laughter drags me from my thoughts, pulling me back to the dressing room as the other donors all huddle up in a corner, exchanging laughter. They look happy. So free. But it’s just an illusion, and it pains me that they give in so easily to the lie of comfort that they’ve been fed. I hate that they’re able to laugh and smile. Amabel told them this morning that Tori was lucky, sold off to some high noble—a white lie—and they swallowed it without a flicker of doubt.What other lies has she fed us over the years?
“What do you think he’s like?” a short girl—a newblood—with brown skin and flowing black hair asks.
To her left, one of the older purebloods flicks her brown hair over her shoulder as she paints her lips red. “He’s the most powerful vampire in the entire kingdom, what do you think?”
The small group chuckles among themselves. All of them have been chosen as donors to serve our guests tonight. My fists clench at their words. They act as if this is some kind of honor to enslave ourselves to monsters who would kill us without a second thought. I once heard an acolyte say that the vampires were born of demons, and nothing rings truer. They are cruelabominations who should have been wiped out during the war.They should be wiped out now.
Agreed. Perhaps you will be the one to do it.Athriel’s voice echoes in the back of my mind.
I’m one person.
Then raise an army.
He says the words so casually as if they could ever be true.The last war left us enslaved. Another could see us extinct.
At least they would die too.
“I’ve heard that he’s the most beautiful of their kind, built like a god,” another girl says, making them all laugh. Athriel’s words become a distant thought that I’m too afraid to dwell on.
“I bet that’s not all that’s built like a god,” the first girl blurts out as she wiggles her eyebrows.
They all laugh at that, and my skin prickles with heat as the beating drum inside my chest refuses to slow.
“You know, he could choose to buy one of us tonight, if he likes what he sees.”
“Oh, I’m going to make sure he likeseverythinghe sees.”
“Do you hear yourselves?” The words fall from my lips in a growl, and every pair of eyes falls on me. I find myself on my feet looking down at the foolish group, but I don’t remember standing. My temples pound as I battle to keep the onyx stain from filling my veins. They are stupid little girls who think this is some kind of joke. “You’re speaking as if this is all a game. This is real fucking life. Vampires aremonsters. They killed our ancestors, and they won’t hesitate to kill a single one of you tonight.”
Fear widens their eyes as they watch me with a renewed sense of caution. It dawns on me in that moment that they’ve simply taught themselves to forget how to be afraid. They have created a cozy life that helps them get through the day, and my wordsjust stripped it away. And why? I want them to feel the pain that I feel. Doesn’t that make me cruel? Selfish?
They need to know the truth,Athriel says gently.
But look at them. They’re terrified.
As they should be. There is no point lying to them now.
My eyes sweep over each of them, and regret swims inside my stomach. Tears burn the back of my eyes, but I don’t let them fall.
“I’m not trying to scare you. I…Gods, I don’t know what I’m trying to do, but the prince isn’t some god to be fawned over. He’s a vampire. He’s a dangerous creature who will not hesitate to kill you. He helped lead a war that slaughtered thousands of our people. Vampires kil—” I pause when I find myself about to reveal the truth about Tori. Telling them that will solve nothing. “Vampires are not our friends or our lovers. They have and will always be our enemies. They exist to control and take from us, and like all high nobles, the prince is nothing more than an entitled bastard who inherited a throne he did nothing to earn.”
“What an interesting take onmylife.” A deep voice radiates through the room, and a tall figure appears from the shadows, the tail of his dark cloak trailing behind him. My breath hitches as I lay eyes on him. He wears a tightly fitted set of fight leathers with a cloak that ties at his throat. His eyes are a storm of black as he watches me through strands of jet-black hair that fall messily into his eyes.
He runs his fingers languidly across the dresses hanging on the racks that separate us as he moves closer, his pace slow and predatory. The room remains painfully silent save for his footsteps.
The others gasp, but I don’t take my eyes off him. My hand twitches to grab the dagger at my thigh, but it would be too soon, and he’s no sired vampire. He’s a noble, and I’ve never dared try to kill one. He’d likely rip out my heart before I even gotthe chance to lift my blade to his throat. Maybe that would be a blessing — something to stave off the pain that holds me.
His eyes sweep down the length of my black dress, his throat bobbing as it reaches the high slit, and I want nothing more than to plunge my blade deep into his chest. I want the life to leave his eyes the same way it left Tori’s. I want him to suffer.
He stops within an inch of me, towering over me as his hand lifts to grip my chin. He tilts it back until I have nowhere to look but into his eyes. My thoughts wither to nothing under his touch. Like all high noble vampires, he’s unnaturally beautiful—he is the most exquisite vampire I’ve ever laid eyes on—and I hate that a monster like him can be hidden beneath such an attractive disguise. His cool skin sends a tremor through my body. I fight to gain control as an odd tugging sensation builds inside my chest. I resist the urge to move closer, my own desires disgusting me. A strange look passes his eyes, but it’s gone before I can even understand what it means.
“And what else do you know of me,human?”
His grip on my chin tightens, yet it doesn’t hurt. It’s as if he’s playing with me before he takes the final kill. My heart thunders inside my chest, and I hate that I know he can likely hear it. I might want to kill Amabel, but it’s her words ringing through my mind in this moment.
