Page 80 of Retribution
“We’ll manage,” he says patiently. “It’s a double edged sword, darlin’. You’ll have our support and we’ll get our girls if you spend more time with us, but the trade off is that this will probably set off your heat if you’re having breakthrough spikes. Think about what would make you comfortable in that situation.”
“I don’t know,” I sigh.
I’m a little more loose-lipped than usual. Having him in my kitchen is nice, and I can’t help myself. I’m beginning to ask myself why I’ve been keeping this place from them. Except, deep down, I know. It’s because they’re harder to resist with extended exposure.
I need to take the first step and stop holding them at arm’s length. I have to be honest with them, starting with Lucas.
“That’s the problem. I’ve never had a real heat,” I explain, swallowing hard.
Lucas abandons the phone and spoon to give me his full attention, his stormy blue eyes showing a range of emotions.
“It was always forced, and my first time having sex was rape at the auction warehouse. It’s hard to know what I want or what’ll help me feel safe when I don’t have any real experience with that,” I rasp.
“That’s fair,” he says. “I can tell you enjoy control. Maybe we can try something that’s along those lines. I am not rushing you, I just feel that sex with one of us before your heat may be best. I don’t want you to murder us all while fucking us.”
“I don’t think that’ll happen,” I giggle. His lips twitch, and I realize that he meant to make me laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I am today,” he acknowledges. “I’m opting for levity, but I do mean it. I want you to have a positive experience before your heat. We’ve been trying to build up to that over the last few weeks. Not because there’s anything scary about your heat or sex, but to rewrite how you’ve experienced it. We’re going to take such good care of you, darlin’.”
Biting my lip, I clamp my legs closed tightly. “Don’t start things that I’m too tired to continue.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says, lips pressed tightly together to hide a smile. He picks up the empty bowl and washes it efficiently before also washing the dirty cutting board, spoon, and knife.
Placing everything in the dish drainer rack, he dries his hands on the kitchen towel before walking over to me and putting his phone in his pocket.
“I’ll hold the baby so you can shower, Isolde. Then we’ll figure out a way for us all to sleep.”
Nodding, I walk out of the kitchen and through the house toward my room while Lucas trails behind me. I can hear himtexting someone, and I figure that it’s Grant. I did choose a layout, after all.
“Okay,” I murmur, turning toward him, swallowing hard.
“I can handle holding a baby, but you can show me how if it’ll help make you feel better,” he murmurs, standing before me with his arms by his sides.
“That’s not it,” I say.
“Then what is it?” he asks.
“I haven’t had anyone in my room before. I know that’s silly, right?”
“Not at all. I can stand in the hallway if that’s better?” he asks. “I don’t want to fuck up the scents in your room, Isolde.”
“That’s not it,” I growl. “I want you here, I just think I’m nervous.”
“I’m still me. I can control myself. Though, you smell delicious.”
“I…” Taking a deep breath, I make a face. “You smell different, Lucas.”
“I’ve been in the labs,” he says, making a face. “I scrubbed myself down with antibacterial soap and it can throw off my scent.”
“Oh,” I say, eyes widening. “That makes sense. What you’ve been working on is more complicated than we thought, huh? If it was easy, I don’t think you’d look so tired.”
“I haven’t been sleeping much,” he admits. “I’m having a lab set up behind the house so I can discreetly work and be closer to my girls.”
There it is again…
Lucas reaches out for the baby, and I help him take her, making sure his hands are where they need to be. He’s so big, she fits perfectly into the crook of his arm. Smiling, I gaze at her.
“You can stare at her some more after your shower,” he prompts gently. “I’m banking on her not noticing that a stranger is holding her.”
