Page 95 of Check the Halls
My mother’s sad smile puts a halt to my spiral. “What if it does? We have no way of knowing what tomorrow holds, Madelyn. I thought I’d have eighty years with your father. In the end, it was just over twenty. But I wouldn’t trade a second of that time.”
“I’m scared I’ll lose him again.”
“I know. But what frightens you more? Having him and maybe losing him again? Or not having him at all?”
I don’t have to consider it. “The second one.”
She chuckles. “I thought so. Talk to him, sweetie. If you two can be honest and open with one another, I really believe things will work out.”
Ben’s been open and honest with me this whole time. It’s me that’s been holding back, afraid of saying too much, feeling too much.
“You’re lucky I love you.”
He’d said it so casually. I’d wanted to say it back. Because I do love him. So much. Maybe being honest with Ben has to start with me being honest with myself.
“Now,” Mom says, setting down her empty mug, “I’ve only got a few days with my baby girl before I fly home, and I intend to make the most of them. Why don’t you go lie down for a bit, and when you’re feeling up to it, we’ll make your favourite icebox cookies?”
“That sounds perfect.” I ease myself up from the table. I’m still sore but better than yesterday. I’m healing. In more ways than one, I suspect.
As I turn, I pause to watch her. She’s at Ben’s sink, rinsing the mugs and humming an old Boney M tune she used to play on vinyl when I was a kid. I’m struck by a memory of her and dad dancing to this song, holding each other and laughing as they spun around the kitchen.
“Mom?”
She looks over her shoulder. “Yes, sweetie?”
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
Her eyes crinkle as she smiles. “Me too.”
CHAPTER 32
BEN
It’s just before eight o’clock in the morning when I arrive in the lobby of my condo. I hadn’t meant to get here this early, but I also couldn’t seem to help myself. I’d rolled out of bed the second my eyes opened, grabbed a quick shower, and threw on jeans and a t-shirt.
Will was already up, making gingerbread again. I swear, it’s all he does in his downtime. He’s hell-bent on perfecting his recipe, but he won’t tell anyone why.
It was late when we flew in last night after finishing the last of our away games until after Christmas. Maddy wanted me to come straight to her when we got in, and God, did it kill me to say “no.” She’s still recovering from surgery and she needs her rest. Not to mention the Gala is only a week away. I don’t want her to lose any sleep because of me.
I promised I’d be over first thing this morning, but the sun is barely up yet. I consider waiting a few minutes in case she’s still sleeping, but the take-out coffees in my hand are already getting cold.
I bounce on my heels in the elevator as I wait for thecar to arrive on my floor. It’s been a week since I’ve seen her in person and fuck if it doesn’t feel like longer. Much longer.
The doors open and I walk to my door, awkwardly knocking while holding my coffee cup. I don’t have to wait long, as the door flies open seconds later. Maddy grins up at me. From her mussed hair and wrinkled t-shirt and pajama shorts, she looks like she just rolled out of bed. Before I can manage a greeting, she barrels into my arms knocking me back into the hallway. My first instinct is to drop the coffee cups and pick her up, to hold her against me and never let her go.
Thankfully, reason kicks in at the last second telling me if I did, she may get splashed with coffee. I settle for wrapping my arms around her as she buries her face in my coat.
“I missed you.” Her voice is muffled.
“Really? I can’t tell,” I tease, kissing the top of her head.
“I know.” She squeezes me tighter. “I’m being very discreet.”
Eventually, she releases her grip and takes a step back. I hold out a coffee cup to her and she takes it, smiling. I use my now free hand to push her hair back from her face as she gazes up at me.
“Hi,” she says shyly.
“Hi.”
