Page 48 of Check the Halls
I am not jealous that my little sister gets to spend time with Maddy and I don’t. I am not jealous that my little sister gets to spend time with Maddy and I don’t. I am not jealous that my little sister gets to spend time with Maddy and I don’t.
“Of course not,” I try to sound convincing as I grab mybeer from the counter and will my shoulders to relax. “I think it’s great that you two are going to catch up.”
“Me too.” Beth hops onto a stool at the kitchen island. “I know how hard it is to move to a new city on your own.”
“But she’s not on her own.” I try to keep my tone level even though I’m fighting a wince. “She’s here with her fiancé, remember?”
“I guess so…” she trails off and I can tell there’s more she wants to say. I lean back against the kitchen counter, waiting for her to complete her thought. “I don’t know. When I hugged her, I got the feeling–”
“You hugged her?” Fuck not being jealous. I am positively sick with jealousy right now and I don’t care if that makes me pathetic. What I wouldn’t give for the chance to hold Maddy again.
“She looked like she needed a hug,” Beth sighs, clearly torn. Before I can interrogate her further, my teammates interrupt us. Will is laughing at something Austin said as they enter the kitchen, crashing our private conversation. The doorbell rings and Beth leaves to answer it. It must be Foster’s brother, Cody, the only one of our party not already here.
“You can’t be serious,” Will says, opening the fridge and grabbing two tall cans of beer.
“Dead serious,” Austin insists.
“How can you think that? I can’t accept that.” Will tosses him one of the cans before cracking his own.
“Well, it’s how I feel, okay?”
“Your feelings are wrong.”
Beth returns accompanied by Cody and Foster.
“What are you two idiots arguing about?” Foster asks moving between Will and the fridge. He grabs a non-alcoholic beer and hands it to his brother, who’s seven years sober.
Will points an accusatory finger at Austin. “He thinks ketchup chips are disgusting.”
An eerie silence fills the kitchen as all eyes land on Austin, the only non-Canadian in the room.
“Get out of my house,” Foster deadpans, signalling the rest of us to break out in boos and jeers.
Will wipes the floor with us all night at the poker table. For someone with the personality of a golden retriever, he’s got a surprisingly unreadable poker face. It’s a fun night despite losing badly and I’m grateful for the $20 max buy in.
I wish I’d gotten a chance to talk more with Beth about Maddy, but as soon as the game started, she said goodnight before taking her book and a glass of wine to her and Foster’s bedroom.
“She looked like she needed a hug.”
Something’s been gnawing at me ever since I found Maddy in the parking lot yesterday morning shaken, scared, and completely alone.
Where the hell washe?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful I was the one there for her. But Derek should have been the one supporting her, holding her hand, reminding her she wasn’t facing it alone.Lovingher. That’s what a fiancé is supposed to do, isn’t it? So why the fuck wasn’t he?
Is their relationship not what it seems? Not what it should be? Not what she deserves?
And am I the same selfish asshole I used to be if I’m secretly hoping it isn’t? If I want to see the cracks, want them to spread like fault lines, splintering the foundation until it all comes crashing down?
Because the truth—the ugly, undeniable truth—is that Iamhoping. Iamwishing.
And if that makes me a selfish bastard, then so be it.
I self-medicate with one or three beers too many and decide to crash in Beth and Foster’s spare room.
I can’t stop thinking about Maddy. Is she okay? Is she homesick? Is she overwhelmed at work? Or is it something else?
I grab my phone from the bedside table and pull up my contacts. I hesitate for a moment before firing off what I hope is a harmless message.
