Page 45 of Check the Halls
“Maddy, I’m sor?—”
“Annika will be back in a second.” I cut him off. “We’ll get those pictures taken, and you’ll be free to do…whatever. Okay?” The words tumble out awkwardly, and I cringe at how forced they sound.
Ben exhales sharply, squeezing his eyes shut like I’ve driven a knife between his ribs. “I’m not going to?—”
“It’s fine,” I interrupt again, forcing my voice to stay level. But the walls of the hospital are starting to close in, and not for the reason I thought they would. I need to finish what I came here to do and leave. “It doesn’t matter to me, Ben. I have a fiancé. You have…people. It’s fine.”
If he looked wounded before, I’ve now twisted the blade. There's a flicker of pain in his eyes, the way his jaw tightens, his hands clenching into fists like he’s trying tohold something back. I know my words have hurt him, but they were spoken in self-defense.
Maybe we’re not cut out to be friends.
Maybe we’re destined to always hurt each other.
Maybe it’s inevitable.
Annika returns, and I immediately switch back into director mode, herding the excited kids and the healthcare superheroes into position alongside the athletes. The photographer is a pro, getting the shots she needs in under a minute. When it’s over, I thank everyone for their time on behalf of Chanda and the rest of the foundation.
I’m free.In the clear.No need to set foot in a hospital again until next year’s event. The weight lifts from my shoulders, and for the first time all day I breathe without restriction.
I should be proud of myself for getting through it.
And I am.
But I didn’t do it alone.
I could not have done this without Ben’s support, his steady presence keeping me anchored. I wouldn’t have even made it through the doors without him by my side.
I find him in a vacant patient room standing by the window, his shoulders slumped. His posture lacks its usual confidence, and the sight of it sends a deep pang through my chest.
“Hey.”
He turns at the sound of my voice, and the pit in my stomach sinks even deeper. He looksexhausted—like the last thirty minutes have stolen years from his life.
“I just wanted to thank you for everything today,” I say softly, leaning against the doorway. “Not just for the ambassador stuff, which you were amazing at, by the way.But for helping me get through this morning. I don’t think I could have done it without you.”
His brow furrows, deep lines of concern forming on his forehead. “You would have, Maddy.” His voice is quiet but resolved. “There’s no doubt in my mind that you would have pushed through and done what needed to be done.”
I swallow, caught off guard. “Well…it really helped knowing you were here.” My voice dips slightly. “So, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I glance at my watch, suddenly needing a reason to leave before I say something I shouldn’t. “I should get back to the office. I have a debrief with Chanda. She’ll want to hear all about how brightly her stars of Christmas shone.” I smile, and he mirrors it, though his feels forced.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” I add, already stepping back. “About the next event.”
“Maddy?”
I pause. “Yeah?”
His throat bobs as he swallows hard. “I’ll always be here for you. Whenever you need me. However you need me. I just want you to know that.”
I nod slowly, not sure how to respond.
Eventually, I settle on a small smile and a quiet, “Okay.”
And then I walk away.
CHAPTER 15
