Page 9 of Raise The Bar
“I think I’ll get a head start on my laundry,” Betty says as she’s tidying up the pizza boxes. Josh and I both stare at her, saying nothing. “What?”
“It’s Saturday,” I say, looking up at her.
“I’m aware.”
“You do laundry on Sunday,” Josh adds, like she may have forgotten.
“I thought I’d mix things up.” She stands up and glowers down at us. “If that’s alright with both of you.” Betty is a big fan of routine and usually sticks to a pretty solid schedule.
“I love it when you’re adventurous.” He grins up at her. Getting to his feet, he takes the boxes from her hands, setting them down on the table so he can wrap his arms around her. “What will you do with the extra hours on Sunday? If you need help filling the time, I’m available.”
“I’m getting out of here before you start giving demonstrations,” I groan, rolling my eyes. With great difficulty, I stand up and roll my shoulders.
“I’m coming with you,” Betty giggles. She stands on her tiptoes to give him a kiss, but he sweeps her into a low dip before planting an over the top, romance movie kiss on her lips. When he returns her to a standing position, she’s flushed and breathless.
“I’ll see you later,” he tells her in a low voice. “Have a good night, Mags.”
“You too.”
“Oh, I intend to,” he says, grinning wolfishly at my friend. One might expect the honeymoon phase to be over for these two by now, but it appears to still be in full swing.
We walk the two doors down to our apartment, filling one another in on our days. She and Josh had spent the day with her father and his girlfriend, Colleen, who are visiting from Rhode Island. I recap my time at the flower shop with my family. She snorts with laughter when I tell her about April’s question concerning plus-ones. Betty’s never met April, but she knows how hard she pushes my buttons. Sometimes it’s hard being the oldest in the family. I was always expected to set an example for my younger relatives, to make the compromises to keep everyone happy.
I didn’t want to admit it, but April’s dig about me not having a date for the wedding bothers me more than I want it to. I hadn’t given it much thought, but maybe it would be nice to take someone. It would alleviate some of the scrutiny I’m sure to face over no longer being with Mark. Plus, I’d like to have someone to lead me to the dance floor. I don’t have any male friends, aside from Josh.
You could ask Callum.
Absolutely not, but thank you for the terrible input, brain.
Betty starts her laundry while I curl up on the couch with my laptop, determined to start my therapy homework. This will be fun, I tell myself. I’ve already built one business, I can start another. I type “how to sell soap online” into the search bar and get 125,000,000 results.
Nope. Not happening. Not today.
I snap my laptop shut and decide to read one of my new heartbreak-free books instead.
Both paperbacks have brightly illustrated covers. The first depicts a leather clad, tattooed blonde woman standing next to a red-haired man in an apron. He wears glasses and holds a pan of cookies. The title saysBorn To Be Mild.
The other cover appeals to me more. A black woman is propped up on her elbows on a bed, staring at her phone. She smiles as if she’s keeping a naughty secret. I flip to Chapter One ofYou’ve Got Maleand begin to read.
Three chapters later, I am hooked. The book follows Angie, a thirty year old woman from Michigan who has taken over her family owned delivery business. She’s got a degree in business and a biological clock that is ready to go off like a pipe bomb. Angie has decided to turn to a dating app in the hopes of finding Mr. Right. By chapter nine, she’s had a series of failed dates and one gloriously sexy hook-up. I mean, wow. I half expected my hands to be covered in burns from turning those smut-filled pages.
I’m vaguely aware of Betty telling me she’s heading to Josh’s. I mumble goodnight, but don’t look up from my book. I audibly gasp when it’s revealed that her hotter than fiction one-night-stand turns out to be Preston Sykes, the CEO of a multinational conglomerate shipping company that has been attempting to put Angie out of business. I devour page after page of this over-the-top romantic comedy. Angie and Preston spend the next dozen chapters fighting each other while trying to deny their blatant sexual chemistry. Everything comes to a head when they finally give in and he takes her on top of his company’s boardroom table. The scene leaves me so turned on, I run to my bedroom to plug in my rechargeable vibrator for later. Are all romance books this steamy? If so, I am fully on board.
It’s almost 2:00 a.m. when I finish the epilogue. Preston sells his shares and leaves his seven figure salary to help Angie, as well as several other locally owned businesses. They get married, have twins and live happily ever after.
I did it. I read a book that didn’t make me sad and I loved every minute of it. This is a revelation. It’s a monumental, life changing event. Happy books make me happy! Not only did I love the book, but it also gave me an idea.
Online dating. I could do that.
I grab my computer and do some basic searches on popular dating apps. There are a lot to choose from, but I quickly weed out the ones that seem primarily hook-up based. Who’s to say I can’t find meaningful, lasting love with someone I meet online? Lots of people meet their partners on these apps. At this point, I’d be happy with a nice rebound relationship that doesn’t end in misery. And even if I don’t find my soul mate, maybe I’ll find someone who’s willing to be my date to the wedding.
Deciding I am far too exhausted to build a dating profile, I close my laptop and get ready for bed. While I’m brushing my teeth, I replay some of my favorite parts of the book in my mind. Much to my annoyance, I pictured Preston as Callum. His physical description wasn’t anything like Callum, but it’s still who my mind visualized. Especially during the racier scenes. The thought of Callum pressing me back on a table, pushing my skirt up and driving into me until we both fall apart overwhelms me. My skin feels overly sensitive and heat pools between my legs.
I allow myself to fantasize about him, but I’m very aware that that’s all it is: A fantasy. Callum may be easy on the eyes and the ears, but he is without a doubt here for a good time, not a long time. I’m guessing I’ve had a longer relationship with a carton of milk than that man has had with a woman.
I’ve learned a lot of things about myself in the last few months, one of them being that I feel a lot. Maybe even too much. If I give someone my heart, I give it fully. There are no half measures. No in-betweens. I don’t think it’s something I could change about myself and if it is, I don’t know that I would even want to. But it means that to protect myself, I have to pick better next time. Find a partner who can not only take my heart, but cherish and guard it. Protect it. And trust me enough to give me theirs in return. I don’t know who this mythical man is, but I know who it’s not. It’s not a devastatingly gorgeous, smooth talking serial dater. No matter how he makes me feel, no matter how hard I feel it.
Chapter 5
