Page 55 of Raise The Bar
“I figured a lot of your girlfriends would be coming.” I’m only half listening to her as I read the ingredients printed on the bar of soap.
“No, sweetheart. Well, I mean, yes. I’ve got lots of friends coming tonight, but that’s not who I was talking about.” It’s the nervousness in her voice that makes me look at her. “I’m bringing a date.”
I stare at her trying to make sense of what she just said. A date? As in, she’s dating? To the best of my knowledge, my mother closed that chapter of her life after Steven. Now, all of a sudden, it’s open? What am I supposed to say to that?
“Oh…okay.” Great work, pal. Really good use of the English language. I go back to looking at the soaps.
“His name is Daniel.” Alright, I guess we’re not done talking about this. “I met him through Irene. Do you remember Irene?” Of course I remember Irene, she’s worked with her since I was a kid.
“Yeah, sure. She’s the fun one with an unending supply of inappropriate stories.”
Mom laughs. “That’s the one. Daniel is Irene’s first cousin. She introduced us back in April and we’ve been seeing each other ever since.”
“You’ve been dating someone since the spring and this is the first I’m hearing about it?” It comes out more accusatory than intended.
“I didn’t know how you’d react. I wanted to wait to tell you until I knew it was serious.”
“It’s serious?” I ask, louder than I mean, causing a clerk stocking shelves to turn around and look at us.
“Yes, I would say it’s serious,” my mother answers calmly. I purchase the soap I’ve been looking at just so I have a reason to walk away from her. After I’ve paid and the clerk spends an eternity wrapping up the soap in decorative tissue paper, we leave the store and start walking in the direction of the car. Neither of us speaks. I can’t believe she kept this from me. When we’re almost back to the car my mom breaks the silence. “How are you feeling about this, sweetheart?”
“Fine,” I lie.
“Are you sure? You seem pretty taken aback.”
Gee, you think?
“Well, yeah. I didn’t think you were over here dating up a storm. I mean, aren’t you too ol–”
“Callum Byron Gallagher, I’m advising you to choose your words very carefully.” My mother rarely uses my middle name, but when she does it usually means I should stop talking. “I am forty-six years old. I was widowed at thirty-six. I am not too old to date.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” I mumble, staring at the car door in front of me.
“I’d really like you two to get to know one another a bit while you’re here,” she says tentatively. I don’t want to upset her, so I swallow down the hundreds of questions I have and smile.
“Sure thing, Mom. Looking forward to it.” We spend the drive home making idle chit-chat, neither of us wanting to address the elephant that has somehow stuffed itself into the back seat of my mom’s Honda Civic.
Chapter 31
Callum
“She’s a stewardess,” my grandmother shouts at me even though I’m standing right next to her.
“I’m pretty sure they prefer the term ‘flight attendants’ now, Grams.” I lean in so she can hear me over the noise of the crowd. The party was supposed to start at five o’clock, but dozens of people had assembled by half past four.
Welcome to Florida.
It’s now five-fifteen and I have been introduced to four women who are granddaughters or great nieces of friends of my grandmother. Each of them has been presented with a list of their special skills or accomplishments, like they’re applying for a job. I’m surprised they didn’t give me references to call.
I’ve been exceedingly polite and friendly to these women, but I have no interest in any of them. The only woman I can think about is the one I still haven’t reached out to. At this point, I don’t even know where to start.
Maggie inhabits my thoughts every minute of every day. I can function properly, have meetings, interact with people in all the ways I normally would, but she is always there in the background, like a song I can’t get out of my head stuck on repeat. I have never felt this way about a woman before.
The longer I wait to reach out, the more terrified I am of how she’ll respond. She’ll be angry with me and she has every right to be. I deserve her anger. I would prefer her to be angry than hurt. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her.
I’ll have to give it some more time. After the outing with my mom, I was not in the right head-space to reach out to Maggie. Why did Mom spring this “boyfriend” news on me without warning? I changed the subject to the weather the second we got to the car. I think she would have liked to continue discussing Daniel, but I was very much over that subject. Who the fuck even is this guy anyway? What is my mother thinking? After the nightmare Steven put us through, the nightmare that only ended when he died, why would she risk putting herself through all that again?
I thought she was happy. I thought I’d given her everything she could want. A beautiful home, close to all of her loved ones and as many trips to Boston to visit me as she liked. I guess I was wrong.
