Page 53 of Raise The Bar
“He was just gone,” I confirm, feeling drained. I’ve barely eaten anything today.
“And he hasn’t texted you today at all?”
“Not once.” I’ve had my notifications at top volume in case he did so I wouldn’t miss it. I take another spoonful of ice cream and pass the carton back to her.
“You should text him,” she says determinedly.
“I should do what now?”
“You should message him. Don’t wait for him to reach out first.”
“But…no.” I shake my head at the very notion. He gave me the best sex of my life and then left me without a word. “The ball is clearly in his court.”
“Says who?” Betty hands the ice cream back to me and inches herself a bit closer. “Mags, I’ve learned a lot of things over the last few years and one of the most important ones is that the only thing in life you can control is your own actions. You can’t control how you feel, or how other people feel, or how they treat you. But you can decide how you deal with it. What do you want, Maggie?” I stare at her not knowing how to respond. “Let’s break it down. What do you want for your soap line?”
“I… I guess I want to see where the subscription boxes and craft fairs take me first,” I say hesitantly.
“Great! You’re already doing that.”
“But what if the demand becomes too much and I can’t keep up?”
“You’ve got friends and family to help you and if that’s not enough, you can hire someone.” Hiring someone is not something that’s even crossed my mind, if I’m being honest. That could work. “What’s next? What do you want to do about Mark?”
“I want him to leave me alone,” I sigh, leaning my head back against the fridge again.
“Which you’ve already told him,” she points out, licking the ice cream off the back of her spoon. “You’ve blocked his number and asked him to stay away and you haven’t heard from him in the last few weeks. That might not last, but we can’t deal with a problem unless it presents itself, so we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
“You’re kind of good at this.” I’m looking at her with a newfound appreciation.
“Problem solving is a huge part of my job,” she says smugly. “And I’m very good at what I do. Once you get your business off the ground, your girl is going to manage the shit out of it. Finally,” she pauses and I take a deep breath knowing what’s coming next. “What do you want from Callum? I’m not asking what you expect or what you think he wants, I’m asking you what you want.”
“I want him.” My weak voice is just above a whisper. “I love him, Betty.” She takes my hand in hers. Our hands are cold and clammy from holding the ice cream container.
“You have to tell him,” she says gently. “You have to accept that you have no control over how he’ll respond and tell him anyway.”
“And when he doesn’t feel the same?” I’m tearing up again. I don’t know how I’m able to produce any more tears.
“If he doesn’t feel the same, it’s going to hurt like hell.” She squeezes my hand tightly. “But at least you’ll know and be able to move forward. You know what you want from a partner, Maggie. If Callum isn’t the one, someone else will be. When you left Mark, you chose yourself. You need to choose yourself again.”
“Hey,” Josh’s voice calls from the front door. “Is everything okay? I thought you were just going to–” He enters the kitchen and sees the state we’re in.
“Hey,” I say from my spot on the floor. I realize that I must look like an absolute trainwreck.
“Can I do anything?” His face is a portrait of concern and I love him for it.
“Do you mind if we have a girl’s night?” Betty asks. She’s still holding my hand with no apparent intention of releasing it.
“Of course,” he answers without hesitating. “I’ll leave you to it. Do you need anything?” He looks pointedly at the empty ice cream container. “More ice cream, maybe?”
“I’ve got a couple more pints in the freezer,” she laughs. “We should be good.”
“Alright.” He starts to back out of the kitchen. “Have a good night, ladies. Text if you need anything.”
Once we hear the door close, Betty turns to me again. “Are you going to text him?”
“Yes, but not tonight.” I rub my eyes which are puffy and tender from all the crying. “I’ll sleep on it and figure out what I want to say and how to say it.”
“Good idea,” she says as she pushes herself off the floor. She extends her hand to help me up. “Final question: Do you want to watchClueless? Or13 Going On 30?”
