Page 25 of Raise The Bar
Eight months. Eight months since I left him and he thinks that he can just walk into my life and expect me to be waiting to come back? I meant it when I told him I was happy for him. I hope he works through everything he’s repressed in his life. I hope he learns to communicate, to trust, and to give love and return it. I hope he finds someone that will make him happy. But that person won’t be me.
Still filled with nervous energy and needing to talk to someone who loves me, I grab my phone from my purse and make a call.
“Hey,” my sister pants, sounding severely winded. “Ouch!” I hear her wince on the phone, speaking to someone else. “That’s not the right angle, it’s too big. Colin, it’s not going to fit.”
“Oh god, June bug–please tell me you didn’t pick up the phone during sex.” I’m relieved when her breathless laughter fills the line.
“No, we’re trying to move the dresser from our room into the spare room, but I think it’s too big. We can’t get it through the door.”
“How did you get it in there in the first place?” I settle into a comfy chair in my waiting area and pull my knees up to my chest. Just hearing June’s voice has regulated my blood pressure.
“We built it in our room.” Her voice still sounds strained and I picture her tiny frame trying to move the oversized piece of furniture.
“Can you take it apart and reassemble it?”
“We could, but neither of us want to put that much time and effort into this,” she grunts and I hear her swear under her breath.
“Yeah.” I can’t help but smile at the mental image I’ve created. “It sounds like what you’re doing is no effort at all.” My sister laughs again and it soothes my frazzled nerves.
“Let’s take five, babe,” she says, presumably to Colin. He says something in return that I can’t make out over the phone. “Colin, says ‘hi’. What’s up?”
“I just saw Mark.”
“Fuck. Where are you? Are you okay?”
“He came to my work. I’m okay.” Am I though? Talking to June has calmed my fight or flight response, but talking about Mark is making my throat feel tight.
“Why? What did he want?”
I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry. “He wants to get back together.” My sister starts to expel a string of curses that would make a seasoned long-shoreman turn beet red, and I have to hold the phone away from me to protect my eardrum. When she’s gotten that out of her system, I tell her everything that transpired between us this evening. She listens without interrupting, her occasional huff the only proof that she’s still there.
“I don’t like it, Maggie,” she says once I’ve finished. “I know we all hoped that he’d moved on, but it’s clear now that he hasn’t. He’s going to contact you again.” I know she’s right and I hate it. “I’m coming to pick you up.”
“June, no.” I shake my head even though she can’t see me. “I’m fine. And besides, I’ve got plans.” Mark may have been a toxic boyfriend, but I never believed he would do anything to hurt me with anything but his words. Plus, the last thing I need is to explain to my sister why she’s dropping me off at a fancy condo in Seaport. “It’s broad daylight, and I could use the walk.” I stand and start blowing out the candles I’ve lit around the office.
“Are you absolutely sure?” I hear the concern in her voice and feel badly that I’m the cause of it.
“Positive.” I grab the bag I’ve packed with my change of clothes and carry it into the bathroom to change. My bathroom is so tiny that my duffle bag and I barely fit inside at the same time.
“Before I forget, you and April need to figure out the bridesmaids’ dresses sooner rather than later. Like I said, I don’t care what you pick, but I would like you both to wear the same dress. April’s been sending me pictures. She has… very strong opinions on what she’d like to wear.”
Ugh. I bet she does. “She can pick out the dresses.” June is quiet on the line and for a moment I wonder if my phone has dropped the call.
“You don’t have to always do that, you know.”
“What?”
“Bend over backwards to make someone else happy,” she sighs.
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Isn’t it? It’s what you always do.”
“That’s not true,” I say, feeling defensive. “I just know that if April doesn’t get her way, she’ll throw a fit and that will make life more difficult for you.”
“Exactly. You’re sacrificing what you want to make everyone happy. I’m a big girl, Mags, I don’t need my older sister to fight my battles for me.” I feel like I’ve been slapped. I’ve always tried to take care of June; it’s second nature to me now. “You’re always doing everything for everyone around you,” she says, her tone softening. “It’s not selfish to choose yourself, sometimes. You deserve to be happy as much as everyone else. Go after what you want. I can handle April. Plus,” she says with a laugh, “you know she’ll pick floor-length white ball gowns if given the choice.”
“Oh god, you’re right,” I laugh at my sister’s intuition. She is right and about more than just the dress. “Fine. I will make my dress opinions heard.”
