Page 18 of Raise The Bar
“What? No! She’d just choked down a huge cinnamon roll–”
“Wait– Isthata euphemism!?” The look on his face is so priceless that I double over laughing. He starts to laugh too and it breaks the tension. This conversation is ridiculous and we both know it. When we’ve finally caught our breath, he directs us towards an empty bench and we sit down. “Talk.”
I walk him through the events of the past twenty four hours, starting with witnessing Maggie’s car crash of a first date last night. To his credit, he listens without interrupting. When I get to the end, he says nothing, just keeps staring at the Saturday afternoon traffic. Finally, he rubs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath.
“Let me make sure I understand you,” he says, exhaling loudly. “Maggie is trying to find a date for her sister’s wedding and you’re attempting to help her?”
“Basically.”
“You’re just volunteering your time to follow around a girl that you’re very attracted to, but have no interest in dating yourself, while she dates a bunch of guys she met online.”
“When you say it like that, it sounds stupid,” I mutter, wishing I had not previously expressed interest in Maggie when I first met her.
“That’s because itisstupid, Callum,” he groans, exasperatedly. “It’s really fucking stupid. Like, one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard, stupid. You should definitely not tell anyone else that you came up with something so preposterously stupid. Your stock prices will plummet and people will not want to work with you anymore. They will take back your Thirty Under Thirty sash.”
“It was a plaque, asshole,” I growl in frustration. “Look, I know it’s not the best idea I’ve ever had.”
“No shit. Jeff Bezos definitely isn’t going to offer you millions of dollars for it. Have your feelings towards relationships changed?”
“No,” I say firmly. “I like her, man. Like, really like her. But I don’t want to be someone’s boyfriend.” Not even Maggie’s. “But I also can’t seem to stay away from her. She’s amazing and she deserves to be with someone who’ll see that. Maybe if I help her find that someone, I’ll be able to let this thing between us go. Does that still sound stupid?”
“Yes,” he answers bluntly. “I think you’re lying to yourself. I think you want her more than you realize.”
“Regardless of how much I like her, I don’t want to be in a relationship. That’s not going to change.”
“That’s fine, as long as you’re not leading her on.” Josh has never understood my relationship aversion. His parents are still together and he could not be more committed to his girlfriend. “Maggie is important to me and she’s downright vital to Betty. She went through hell with her ex and I don’t want to see her hurt again.”
“I’m not going to hurt her.” That is the absolute last thing I want to do. The thought of causing her pain makes my stomach bottom out. The thought of someone else hurting her makes me see red. Josh hasn’t said much about her ex-boyfriend, but I remember the words cold and controlling being used.
“You’d better not,” he threatens.
“Is this where you threaten to beat me up if I do?” I hedge. Josh is normally such a gentle giant and it’s off putting to see him on edge like this.
“That won’t be necessary.” A smile lights up his face. “There won’t be anything left to do to you after Betty is through with you. She will completely destroy you.”
Chapter 10
Maggie
“And how did that make youfeel?” Winnie asks as she peers over her tortoiseshell glasses at me.
Man, she loves that question. I’ve just finished recounting my week for her and it’s eaten up more than half of our session. It was a big week. It’s crazy to think that it was only seven days ago that I was locked out of my apartment when so much has happened since then.
Winnie was delighted that I read one of the books she suggested, though she seemed quite surprised to hear that it inspired me to launch my own online dating plan. She listened intently as I detailed screening the candidates with Betty and setting up a number of dates. I recapped my dates with Nick and Sebastian in detail. I could tell her interest piqued when Callum repeatedly entered the timeline, but she didn’t interrupt.
Her “how did that make you feel” came after I described in detail how each of my dates turned out. The first gave me flashbacks to my similarly rage-prone ex-boyfriend. The second made light of the disease that took my mother and then food shamed me. How did it make me feel? Awful.
“Discouraged,” I answer instead. “I didn’t think this would be so hard.” To be honest, I pictured myself meeting and dating several uncovered gems. I was so young and inexperienced when I met Mark. Jumping into a committed relationship with him was like driving off the lot with the first shiny car that caught my eye. This time I think I should test drive a few different models.
“While I understand that, do you think your expectations were a tad high?” Winnie says with a kind smile. “If I remember the book, the main female character had to date a lot of frogs before she met her prince.”
“Actually, all she dated were frogs, when you think about it. Just one frog happened to be hotter than the other frogs, but also kind of an asshole; eventually, that frog turns into a prince.”
Winnie giggles, her frizzy curls bouncing as she shakes. “Okay, I’ll give you that. What I’m trying to say is that she didn’t find her hot frog on her first or second date. These things take time, Maggie, and I’m concerned that you’re putting too much pressure on yourself with this deadline. I love that you’re putting yourself out there, but I wish it were because you’re ready to date again, not because you don’t want to go to a wedding on your own.”
“I am ready to date again,” I assure her. “Really, I am. I just didn’t think there would be so much trial and error. Maybe my standards are too high.” Winnie seems to consider this as she leans back in her chair and chews on her ballpoint pen. Her expression is so serious, in direct contrast with her bright and cheerful outfit. A hot pink dress with large white polka dots speckled across it.
“Standards are important, especially if they align with your values. You walked away from a relationship that wasn’t meeting your needs. You wanted more and were no longer willing to accept what you were being given. Now is the time to raise the bar. Decide what you want and don’t settle for less. What are you looking for in a partner?”
