Page 89 of Empire of Death
A pained look entered his gaze as he held my stare. When all his strength drained from his eyes, he looked away. “That’s still not enough,Xivin.”
“How?” I asked incredulously. “How is that not enough?”
He propped himself on his elbow so he was elevated above me. He looked over me to the other side of the room, putting a small amount of distance between us like he didn’t want to hold my gaze for a moment longer. “It’s just not.”
28
WRATH
It was almost dawn when she’d fallen asleep for good, her hair across the pillow behind her, her beautiful face relaxed as she remained deep asleep, her lips slightly parted with a glimpse of her teeth exposed.
I lay beside her and watched her sleep. She didn’t realize it, but this was how we spent the majority of our time together, because I watched her sleep most nights she slept, even when she didn’t know I was there.
I couldn’t sleep, so I got to find that peace through her, watch her eyelids flicker when she dreamed. There were a lot of things I still missed about being alive, like being able to dream. I knew I’d see Tiberius and Darius every night if I could. As young boys, the way I remembered them and not the grown men I’d watched them turn into from afar.
I knew it was time to go, but I didn’t want to leave her. I never wanted to leave her. I would give anything to share a life with her, to put logs on her fire every night to keep her warm, to carry her to bed when she fell asleep on the couch, to help with thechildren in the middle of the night when she was exhausted after a long day.
Anything.
But even if I could change my circumstances, it wouldn’t matter. Because if she knew my part in all of this, there would be no forgiveness. There wasn’t love strong enough for the destruction my betrayal had caused. Her father was still comatose, some of her dragons would die in the battle, she’d lost good men and one of her commanders on the ships at the Empire Colonies.
Too much to forgive. Too much to forget.
It was time for me to leave, so I stared at her for another moment before I leaned down and pressed the lightest kiss to her lips. “I love you,Xivin.” I whispered it to her before I slid out of bed and adjusted the covers over her body to keep her warm.
Then I was gone, leaving the light of morning in the mortal world and descending into the eternal darkness of Xian. The place had a cold humidity that I could recognize the moment I was there. It was somewhere I’d known for so long that it felt familiar, but never like home. Home had always been Dambridge to me, but then I’d met Lily…and home became a person rather than a place.
I walked through the halls of the castle, the deformed servants scurrying away in fear even though I’d never raised a hand to them. Never even raised my voice. In the uniform and armor I wore at all times in the forsaken place, I checked on activities in the castle before I moved outside into the courtyard.
One of the servants approached me, the same one who’d terrified Lily when I’d brought her here. “Your Majesty, the Covenant requests your presence.”
If I had a beating heart, it would squeeze out all the blood in the next pump. Dread filled every crevice of my dead body. They rarely asked for my appearance, and it was usually me who sought an audience with them. For the last decades that I’d been the god of the underworld, I’d done my job to their satisfaction, so conversations were never necessary. That was why I continued to strive for excellence, continued to take souls from the evil men to fuel their power, to exceed their quota.
Because I never wanted to look at those damn monsters.
With my powers as a god, I shifted time and space and left the courtyard to appear before their thrones on the rocky outcropping of petrified stone. Their thrones were carved into the images of souls.
I stood before them, their castle that was off-limits to everyone, including me, in the distance behind them. Each of their eyes shone with a red illumination fueled by the souls they’d eaten. They felt like monstrous pets that I’d been burdened to feed.
The three of them stared at me, each demon different from the others in appearance. One had four arms and four eyes. The webbing of flesh was sometimes outside their bodies, their dead hearts visible. Their bodies weren’t covered in skin, but shiny, hard exoskeletons that were as thick as the armor I wore. Anyone forced to meet their gaze would scream in terror. I’d looked upon them hundreds of times, and it still made my skin crawl. “You called upon me.”
Raul, the demon in the center, had the longest nails, talons from a hawk that could slice through flesh like any sharp blade. He started to drum them on the stone armrest on which he sat, his red-illuminated eyes watching me with an element of ferocity. “You took an oath as the god of the underworld not to directlyinterfere with the living—but it’s come to our knowledge that you’ve intentionally worked against those you’ve sworn to aid for someone who’s paid you nothing for your services. That you’ve granted her gifts not meant for mortals. That you’ve chosen a side in war, when a god chooses no sides. Intentionally and defiantly, you’ve made these actions repeatedly. What have you to say?”
I hadn’t believed that Kennt would be able to get his message to the underworld so quickly. Made me wonder if he’d suspected far sooner than I realized. That he’d moved his pieces across the board while my focus was elsewhere. “Your accusations are true.” I wouldn’t lie to save my skin, wouldn’t lie to beings that wouldn’t believe me if I tried. “Lily Rothschild came to my lands, and I demanded payment for her father’s debt. Instead of collecting what was due, I gave her my heart.”
Raul tilted his head slightly in confusion, because someone like him couldn’t possibly understand the concept of love. Power was the only language he understood.
The other demons remained quiet, like they didn’t know what to make of my confession either.
“I feel no remorse for my actions. I’m obviously unfit for this position—as I’ve warned you before. In compensation for my years of loyal service, supplying an endless line of souls for your consumption, I ask to be released.”
“To be released?” Raul said slowly. “You betray your oath to your kin and then ask for freedom?”
“I know I’ve done twice the work of Bahamut in a fraction of the time.”
“You did your job,” Raul said. “And don’t need further compensation.”
I had to try. Even if Lily didn’t forgive me for what I’d done, I’d still be able to live in the same time as her. Still be able to look upon her from a distance. Still have a chance…someday. “When I made my deal with Bahamut, he didn’t say I would be God of the Underworld. So the agreement wasn’t entirely equal.”
