Page 55 of Empire of Death
“Why?”
“Because I want to understand your life.”
“I don’t want your pity,Xivin.” I didn’t want her to see the world that I’d somehow gotten used to these last few hundred years. It would be a shock to her, and of course, it would break her heart to know that was my existence. A cold world in a sea of muted colors.
“I still want to know.”
I wanted our time together to be spent in the throes of lovemaking or loving stares next to the fireplace. To pretend that we had forever, even when we only had moments in between waves of chaos. “I warned you I would leave if you did this.”
Her eyes hardened at my threat. “All I asked was to see the place you call home.”
“You want to see the underworld to figure out if there’s a way for me to escape it.” I knew Lily better than she realized, not because of our conversations, but because I watched her far more than she was aware of. I watched her stare in the mirror and be disappointed by what she saw. I watched the way she changed the grip on her sword several times, like she was unsureof herself in battle. I watched her look death in the face with a bravery most men lacked. I knew every beautiful layer of Lily Rothschild.Every. Single. One.“And my answer is no.”
“What if the platinum is there?”
“I would tell you if it were.”
Her fingers withdrew from me entirely. “I still want to see?—”
“There is no escape.”
“I just want to see your world. Where you sleep. Where you go?—”
“You know full well that I don’t sleep.”
“Callum—”
“One more word and I’m gone.” I hated myself for the harsh words I unleashed, especially when I’d rather spend this time enjoying her instead of fighting her.
She flinched slightly at my words, and then tears coated her eyes a second later. “My greatest fear is that one day you won’t come back. Not because of your advice or the strength you grant me, but because of the way my heart hurts whether you’re far or near. Because every moment we’re apart, I live for the next moment we aren’t. So when you use your absence as a tool against me…it really hurts me.” The tears in her eyes grew within the next breath she took.
And I felt worthless.
“I feel closer to you than I’ve ever felt to anyone—lover, friend, or family. So this punishment is as cruel as torture.” The tears escaped and slowly dripped down her cheeks before she quickly wiped them away like she was ashamed they’d ever come free.
“You’re right,Xivin.”
She wouldn’t look at me now, her eyes still watery.
“I’m sorry.” I spent so much time nurturing my rose in the flower garden…and then I stepped on her. Crumpled her stem and dirtied her petals. Let the rain flood the soil and nearly kill her. I regretted some of the parenting choices I’d made in the past, but I regretted this effort most of all. “I’ll never do that again, regardless of the content of our conversation.”
Her eyes finally came back to me. “Promise me.”
My hand cupped her cheek before my fingers slipped into her hair. “I promise,Xivin. But that’s still not a conversation I ever want to revisit. If you want to talk about it, don’t expect me to reply.”
“Why?”
“You know why.” I looked into her pained eyes and wished I could look into them for eternity—even a single mortal life.
Her fingers wrapped around my wrist gently. “Then…will you take me?”
My instinct was to push her away, but seeing the lingering tears in her eyes grounded my anger. “There’s nothing to see,Xivin.”
“I want to know you. All of you.”
“Xivin…” I didn’t want her to witness the physical manifestation of misery. Didn’t want her to understand my suffering. Didn’t want her to think about what she’d seen during the brief moments when her world was quiet. “We have more important matters at hand.”
“But you said time passes differently there than it does here. That a week for you is merely an hour for me.”
