Page 15 of Empire of Death
“But you do have a soul.”
“If your soul isn’t absorbed directly, exposure to darkness in Xian naturally corrodes it. It’s like rust on an iron blade or the souring of milk. Bahamut never took my soul because I served him faithfully and executed his orders without hesitation. Heseemed to spare me out of some form of allyship…or loyalty. I’ll never know. And perhaps he assumed my soul had corroded long ago, so he never bothered to check.”
“How do you know you still have it?”
“Because I can feel it,” he said simply. “It’s not the same as it was, but it’s still there.”
“How—how has it survived all this time?”
He gave a slight shake of his head. “The true answer will never be known, but I believe it’s because I came to the underworld under different circumstances than most. Most people exchange their souls for revenge, power, or greed. I did it to save someone I loved. Perhaps my soul has more light in it than most. Perhaps it’s immune to the dark misery that lingers in every corner. A place like that can turn anyone mad, and there was a time when the misery felt like too much. But I carried on, wanting to be different from everyone else in that place…even though it didn’t really matter in the end.”
“But maybe it will matter. Because if we can get my father back, then why can’t we get you back?”
He stared at me for a while before he took a slow breath. “Since I’m god of the underworld, I’m not sure how that would be possible. I may have my soul, but I also have the iron grip of the demons that control me.”
“Can they be killed?”
“As they’re not living, that doesn’t really apply.”
“But Bahamut was.”
“Because he became mortal when the portal was open.” He released another breath, this time filled with frustration. “I don’t want our time together to be muddled by the dark reality of our circumstances. Let’s speak of something else…or I return you.”
“But we’ll have to speak of it at some point, Wrath. Because we both know this can’t go on forever.”
His eyes shifted away again, and this time, he remained quiet, like he refused to engage with me on the matter when he explicitly put an end to it.
“And the longer it goes on, the harder it gets.”
“I said I don’t want to speak on this further,” he said, his eyes still averted.
“But—”
“I know this will end at some point.” He turned back to me, his eyes heavy in anger, but anger that didn’t quite seem reserved for me. “I know you’ll walk away and live a mortal life with a man who will love you deeply. You will have children and have a life that you deserve. Be the fairest queen of all. And you will know happiness every day of your long life, while I…” He swallowed. “While I watch from afar just to see you…despite the anguish it causes every single time. I used to wish I’d made a different choice, but if I’d made a different choice, I never would have met you. And having you in my heart, even if it’s only temporarily, has somehow made my time in the underworld worth it.”
Tears had crept into my eyes the second he started to speak, and now they threatened to break the dam of my eyelids. The anguish he carried transferred into me and the misery were so much to take, but he had to take it every single day of his dark existence. “Wrath?—”
The world shifted underneath my body, and then I felt the bedroll in the cave. I jerked up to search for him, but the cave was empty except for Hawk and the dragons. Tears still pooled in my eyes, and they started to streak down my cheeks, like the rain that continued to fall outside.
6
LILY
“Lily.” Hawk’s irritated voice jerked me from sleep. Seemed like it wasn’t the first time he’d tried to get my attention. “Come on, we’ve got to keep moving.”
I released a quiet groan so he would know I was finally awake.
His footsteps sounded as he walked back to the fire.
I opened and closed my eyes a couple times as I tried to wake up, my brain exhausted from the few hours of sleep I’d received. I had been up late with Wrath last night, and when he returned me, I couldn’t sleep for a while, crying alone in my bedroll with the rainfall muffling the sound of my tears.
When I finally sat up, the pain came back to me, a thousand knives piercing me from every side. I knew Wrath wouldn’t reveal himself to me for a while, that he needed space from me because I’d poked his wound too hard this time. But I knew he would still be there, watching in the silence, because he would never leave me unprotected. I used to feel that way about my father, his mountain always looming over my sea, but now, he was gone…and Wrath had replaced him.
I finally got dressed and began to pack up my things.
Zehemoth was beside me, lying with his snout on the ground as he watched me.You’re sad.
Just tired.I rolled up my bedroll and stuffed it into my pack.
