Page 43 of Empire of Death
“Then what do you feel?”
The shaky breath I took was involuntary, because what I felt couldn’t be spoken aloud. It was just too raw, too painful, too real. The realest thing I’d ever felt in my life. It felt exactly the same as a dagger between the ribs, just inches from the heart. “I meant what I said before. The god of the underworld has a vested interest in the defeat of the Barbarians.”Me. I was the vested interest. “We’re simply allies with the same goal. He granted me these gifts because he can’t interfere with the living, and he believes I’m the one who can defeat this enemy.”
She didn’t blink as she listened to all of that, analyzing every word, every syllable. “The god of the underworld can’t interfere with the living. Granting the ability to command death is a mighty gift. But your strength is greater than kings, generals, and soldiers. It’s akin to the might of a dragon. How did he bestow this upon you?”
I felt cornered, unsure how to answer the question. I wished Callum would advise me like he had in the past, but he continued to refrain. Perhaps because Queen Eldinar was my aunt and this conversation was between family, not rulers.
Her eyes narrowed like she figured it out on her own. “Or is it his own strength that’s been granted to you…the strength of a god.”
I hated how fucking smart she was. When I was a child, she told me she was older than most of the ancient trees in Riviana Star, that she watched them grow from saplings to mighty adults. All that life experience gave her a wisdom that could puncture holes in any tale.
“That is a different kind of gift—because it does interfere with the living. A queen who can command the dead from land and sea, who is stronger than any opponent who could ever challenge her. You’re a living god, Lily Rothschild.”
Bumps immediately broke out over my skin underneath my armor. I couldn’t see them, but I could certainly feel them travel down my legs and arms, making my hair stand on end. I didn’t understand the depth of what he’d given me until my aunt phrased it that way.
“A god only cares about the events of the mortal world if there’s a mortal he cares for. So if these gifts truly came freely, then we can assume that a living person is more important to him than his oath to the Covenant that he serves. And that can only mean?—”
“I ask you to keep this to yourself, Aunt Eldinar.” If she dug her shovel into the ground once more, she would unearth a secret that I was unwilling to share. An open secret that Callum and I kept from each other, at least verbally. My mother might understand, but my father’s rage would make the cliffs of the Southern Isles collapse into the sea. “I will tell my mother…when I’m ready.”
The harshness in her stare immediately evaporated once she received confirmation of her suspicions. And there seemed to be pity in her gaze, like she understood the endless complexities of such a doomed relationship. “I’ve lived many mortal lifetimes, knew of Bahamut’s predecessor before he was ejected by the Covenant, and they’re all the same. Corrupted by malice and despair and evil. Be careful, Lily. It might seem real to you but could be a ploy of deception by a demon?—”
“It’s not a ploy. It’s real.” I believed it from my heart to the marrow in my bones. “And he’s not a demon. He’s a man with a heart and a soul who’s been condemned to eternal servitude. Even if I begged him to take my soul, he never would.” I focused on my hands in my lap so I wouldn’t collapse in a flood of tears. The knowledge of his suffering was like a thousand cuts from broken glass. “You give me your word that you’ll keep this to yourself?”
Aunt Eldinar didn’t speak.
I lifted my chin to look at her again, knowing she wouldn’t make a promise to me then break it.
“I won’t have to, Lily. Your mother is distracted by your father’s illness and that will buy you time, but the moment your father is cured, he’ll piece it together quicker than I have. And Lily…” She paused, staring me down like what she would say next carried the weight of the world. “You will meet a version of your father you’ve never seen before. A version I haven’t seen in over twenty years.”
I showered then towel-dried my hair before I put on the thick cotton robe that had been hanging from a hook in the bathroom. When I stepped into my bedchambers, the cold fireplace was now set ablaze.
I knew who’d started it.
My eyes moved to the armchair in the sitting room, and I found him seated there, shirtless and in his trousers, his dark eyes taking me in with a distinct sheen of melancholy.
I climbed on top of him and sat across his thighs, his arm supporting my back as I rested my head on his shoulder, immediately warmed by his hot skin. My damp hair spilled down his arm, and I knew it would dry just from being near him.
We didn’t talk about the conversation with my aunt.
Didn’t talk about anything.
After a length of time passed, he turned his head into me and pressed a kiss to my hairline. “I came to say goodnight.”
I turned to look up at him, the disappointment like poison in my body.
“You’ve lost too much sleep over me. You need to rest.”
“I’d gladly be exhausted every day to spend every night with you.”
His eyes bored into mine for a heavy pause, and then he slid his big hand into my hair. He cradled my face before he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “Xivin.” He said the name against my lips before he kissed me again. “Not tonight.”
“Please, I don’t want you to go.” Every night felt like our last. I’d never been in a committed relationship before, and I’d alwaysimagined I would be calm and collected and laid-back, but I was desperate and clingy and obsessed. I would be embarrassed if I had room to feel anything else.
He stared into my eyes for a while. “I’ll stay only if you sleep.”
I wanted all of him like always, but I could read the sternness in his eyes, see the fact that he wouldn’t change his mind with any level of persuasion. So I conceded and gave a nod.
He scooped his arms underneath me and carried me to bed before he gently laid me down. He pulled the cinched tie around my waist free and then helped me get out of the robe before he slid into bed beside me.
